


a spider and a stone heart

by ultraviolet289



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Heist, Inspired by Six of Crows, Inspired by West Side Story, Organized Crime, Romeo and Juliet References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:46:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 68,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultraviolet289/pseuds/ultraviolet289
Summary: Nini is a member and spy of the Spades-- A highly sophisticated gang, rival to the Aces. A heist on enemy territory puts her in the hands of the Ace's leader: Ricky Bowen. As she tries to adapt to her new situation, can she keep hating this stone-hearted boy, or will an unexpected bond force her to betray all that she knows?
Relationships: Big Red/Ashlyn Caswell, E.J. Caswell & Gina Porter, Ricky Bowen & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts
Comments: 103
Kudos: 243





	1. no mourners, no funerals

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! I encourage you to read these notes! There's some info here that might make things easier to understand
> 
> 1\. First of all, I was inspired to write this after reading a twitter au by @melodramaliv called "Romeo and Juliet"  
> Here are the things that this story has in common with that au:  
> \- Nini and Ricky are from rival gangs  
> -EJ is like a brother figure to Nini  
> -Ej is the leader of his gang, and Ricky the leader of his  
> Other than that, this story is my own
> 
> 2\. The gangs in my story are like... really high end. Not street gangs. Picture the mafia and mobs with lots of money and technology. I thought it would be cool to make them members of organized crime groups. These gangs are less about destruction, and more about heists/organized crime
> 
> 3\. I took a lot of inspo from the book Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. In this story, Nini's character is heavily inspired by Inej in Six of crows. Nini get's nicknamed "spider," which is a name Inej is called a couple of times in that book (although she is more known for being called "the Wraith''). I also named the first chapter after a popular phrase in the book
> 
> 4\. This story deals a little bit with addiction. It doesn't go too deep into it, but it plays an important role in the chapters further on. I just wanted to put out a trigger warning, because I didn't know what I should have rated this
> 
> 5\. I couldn't come up with more creative gang names, i apologize for the cliche of it all
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading these notes and I hope you enjoy!

It was an odd hour of the night. Nini turned towards the alleyway, clad in a long black coat over an even darker turtleneck. Her boots clicked on the pavement, partnered with the sound of a gray duffel bag hitting her leg with every step. It was a little too cold to be comfortable, but Nini didn’t show it. Her face remained like stone, her hair slicked back in a low bun. 

In her path stood two men, one short with a hefty gut, and the other fairly average, but stood as if he was the executive of this alley. She could hear them start to snicker at her, whispering to each other, no doubt discussing what they would do to her. When she just passed them, the taller one made a remark.

“Hey, pretty lady. Wanna have some fun?” 

Nini stopped in her tracks as she sensed them start to circle her. She stayed mostly silent, just letting out a huff of breath out of annoyance.

The shorter one scoffed. “What? Are we disappointing or somethin?”

Nini shook her head and tried to keep walking, but the tall one stepped in front of her. 

“Hey, we weren’t done talkin to you, lady.”

She tried to move once again, but this time he touched her, grabbing her wrist and tugging her forward.

There was much Nini could tolerate, but unwanted _hands_ wasn’t one of them. 

Nini yanked the arm that was being grabbed. The man didn’t let go, but that was just what she wanted. His balance was thrown off, forcing him to stumble forward, his upper body dipping down. Nini took the chance. She dropped her duffel and elbowed the man in the back of the neck, causing him to fall on hands and knees. Soon enough, the shorter man charged forward, fist cocked prepared to throw a punch. Nini dodged him, her body moving swiftly and silently. With the man past her, she turned and placed a hand on his shoulder, using him to hoist herself up into the air, kicking upward and strangling him with her legs. Jerking her body to the side, she brought the man down to the pavement, catching herself with her hands and rolling away. A quick check of the stout man confirmed her intentions: he was thoroughly in pain and unable to get up.

The exchange with the shorter man happened so quickly that the tall one had just started to regain his footing. He puffed his chest, hands clenched at his sides, trying to appear more intimating, for his fragile ego was bruised by his defeat by the hands of a seemingly harmless girl. As he started to stomp up to the girl, she shook her head, irritated that they had interrupted an otherwise easy night. When the man was in close enough range, Nini spun faster than he could register, kicking him in the head with the back of her foot. 

“How was that for fun?” Nini spat, peering over the two writhing men on the ground, admiring her work. 

Brushing her hands off on the sides of her legs, Nini picked up her bag off of the ground, adjusted her coat, and kept walking on home. 

Nini dumped the contents of the duffel onto the table in the center of the room. “$500,000 in cash. Would have been been $600,000, but they had a different surveillance system than the one we thought they would have. Other than some annoying guys in the alleyway, it went off without a hitch.”

“Good work, Nini.” EJ picked up a wad of the cash, mindlessly inspecting it before throwing it back into the pile. “This should help pay for the new amo we bought last week.”

“Don’t forget to mention DoorDash. You gotta tip a lot when you ask for them to drop off food at this shithole.” Gina chimed in. 

“ _Hey_ , what do you mean ‘shithole’?” Seb nudged Gina. “This place is like four seasons compared to what the Aces have. Plus I just helped install the new tech room.”

“I meant that the _outside_ looks like a shithole. It may be fancy on the inside, but on. The outside it’s still an old bread factory.” 

“All right, guys, let’s focus,” EJ reprimanded. Seb and Gina silenced.

EJ Caswell was the newly crowned leader of the Spades. After Jenn had stepped down to spend her fortunes on living on the country side, she’d chosen EJ to fill her place. Although he was fairly new, the boy was a natural leader, Jenn’s choice nothing short of perfect. He kept this place running, kept everyone fed, and kept their pockets full. 

Tonight he wore his usual gun metal gray suit, a dark shirt underneath and no tie. His arms were crossed in front of his chest. 

“On Thursday we have a hit on the Irvines. Walter Irvine is heading on a business trip, leaving his penthouse unattended. We have that new skeleton key that Gina finished yesterday to test out on his vault. So…should be fun.”

Gina tried to conceal the pride emerging from her face, but failed miserably. The best she could do was hide slightly behind the tablet in her hand. 

As the resident tech genius, Gina had been developing that key for some time. She not only developed the programming for it, but constructed it as well. Even as the youngest, Gina Porter had developed a great number of gadgets for the Spades. She was taken in only a year ago, and only a year ago had they started to integrate this level of advanced tech into their heists. The girl was charming and well liked by many of the gang’s members.

Not to mention EJ, who had a little soft spot for her.

“G, could you pull up the blueprints?”

Gina fiddled with the tablet in her hand before an image appeared on the screen at the head of the table. EJ walked over. 

“They have pretty tight security in the lobby, so we won’t be able to get in under disguise—sorry Kourt, you won’t get to play with costumes this time.”

Kourtney, who was seated at the side of the table with her feet up, frowned.

He pointed to an area on the top right of the screen. “There’s an opening in the vent system around here. It’s eight floors up. I’m sending Nini.”

“Sending her to—what? Scale up the side of the building? Eight floors?” Seb inquired.

“Yup.”

“But that’s—“

“She’s our best climber. It’ll be easy, right Nins?”

Nini nodded. It was true. Within her couple years with the Spades, Nini had acquired many skills. Firing a gun, hand to hand combat, spying, hacking, hijacking. She was a quick learner and quite talented at many things. Under the supervision of Jenn, Nini had become a _very_ valued member of the Spades. 

But her _expertise_ was climbing. She was a natural. Scaling buildings, creeping through ventilation systems, even roof hopping. EJ made no haste to coin the term “spider” as her nickname. Nini: the spider. The Spades’ very own spider.

“She’ll drop a wire for Seb. Gina will do her magic with surveillance. Then you two—“ EJ motioned to Seb and Nini, “—will get into his penthouse, break into the vault, collect the goods, then get out the same way you got in.”

“Wait, the Irvines live on Blue Edge?” Nini observed the blueprints.

“…Yes. They do.”

“That’s Ace territory.”

“Yes. I know.”

“EJ. That’s too risky.” Kourtney took her feet off the table.

Nini stepped foward. “She’s right. We have peace right now. Why risk it?”

“ _Because,”_ EJ clenched his jaw. “the Aces aren’t gonna know that we were ever there. You two will be in and out without being seen.”

“EJ—“

“Look, that vault has about $3.4 million stashed. This is a _huge_ job. And the Aces have been letting it sit there! If they aren’t going to do anything about it, then we are.” EJ pointed at his own chest as a spoke with his hands. “It’s not our fault that we’ve been able to monopolize our territory and Bowen can’t keep up. I’m tired of sitting around while they do nothing.”

The room was silent, but everyone nodded quietly to themselves. 

“We have two days to prep. Nini, make sure you’re ready for the climb. Kenny will hook you up the the equipment. Gina, have whatever you need done. You know…computers and stuff—“

“You got it boss.” 

“And Seb, work with the backup team. We’re gonna have snipers in three buildings just in case there’s trouble. Choose whoever you think are best.”

“On it.”

“All right. That’s all. You guys are dismissed.”

Everyone started leaving the briefing room. Kourtney and Gina gossiped as they walked out the door. Nini lagged behind to help EJ back up the bag. And also so he could give her the…

“So we’re really going to violate the agreement?” Nini asked him. 

EJ shook his head. “They’ve been inactive for so long, and I don’t want to keep sitting on my hands anymore.”

Nini didn’t respond. She let his words marinate with her as she stuffed a bundle of hundreds back into the bag.

“You trust me?” he asked, turning to her. Honestly, it was more of a statement than a question because of course Nini trusted him.

Nini was only a junior when the Spades took her in. One day she had returned home as high as a kite. Nini thought her moms might be lenient, but the fellow junkie she unknowingly brought home, who made the decision to loot their home, proved her otherwise. Her moms effectively kicked her out. For a couple months Nini was living in on the streets. She had a sleeping bag, one other change of clothes, and about seven dollars in her pocket— barely managing to get by, to survive. 

The day that she had first met EJ is one that she’ll remember for the rest of her life. The night was cold. Snow blanketed the ground, and her thin flannel was barely enough to keep her warm, but it was big enough for her to stash stolen goods. The entire day Nini had spent pickpocketing for anything that might help her keep warm. Some gloves, a lighter, a hat, anything. She was dumping out the contents of her flannel onto a park bench as EJ approached her. He told her he’d been seeing her around for weeks. He complimented her skills at thievery, and wondered whether she’d like some food and a roof over her head in exchange for some of her talents. Nini agreed without hesitation, and ever since then, EJ had been like an older brother to her. Teaching her, watching over her, and keeping her safe.

So to say she trusted him was a severe understatement. 

“Of course I do, it’s just that there’s been peace for so long. And after Bradley died in the last drive-by…I just really don’t want to be at war again.”

“And we won’t be. I believe that we can pull this off. Everything will be okay.” EJ placed his hand on her upper arm to comfort her. He knew how much Nini had liked Bradley before he’d been killed, and he wouldn’t want to do anything that might cause her that pain ever again.

“You’re probably right, you always are.”

“That is true.”

Nini laughed, before rubbing her eyes. “I think I’m going to head to bed. It’s been a pretty long day.”

“Yeah. You should go.”

“Do you have my…”

“Oh, right.” EJ reached into a pocked on the inside of his coat, pulling out a tiny plastic bag between his pointer and middle fingers. Inside the package was the tiniest amount of white, crystalline powder.

Nini closed her hands around the packet. “Thanks,” She whispered. 

“You’re almost there, you know. You can make it.”

She nodded. 

“Goodnight, Nini.”

“Night.”

Nini sat on the bathroom floor, letting the high wash over her. Her mind was warm and fuzzy, her body somewhere far away. But it was barely enough. Too soon it was over, and she would have to wait another couple of days to chase this feeling.

Of course EJ would never willingly fuel her addiction. It was in fact the opposite. It was no secret that a few gang members would indulge in drugs from time to time, but when EJ had found that Nini stolen some from a job, and consequently found her high and trashed outside the factory at 4 in the morning, his brotherly instincts kicked in and he made it his mission to help her quit. One way to do that would be to just rip it away from her, cut off her supply. But he needed her sane for her to do her job. He needed his spider, for he had seen the nasty effects of withdrawal with some of his own friends. Instead, he had opted to slowly limit her supply week by week. Nini had to admit that it was working pretty well. Her cravings had lessened over time, but she would be lying if she said it wasn’t hard. From time to time her mind would slip into a dark place, willing to do anything for a little bit, just a little. More than one occasion she would go to EJ’s quarters in a manic state, _begging_ for just a little. But he was strict with her, and she thanked him for that.

For now, she got up off the tiles of her personal bathroom and splashed some water onto her face. Her pajamas were simple, black shorts and a large shirt. It wasn’t until she settle into bed when she realized how exhausted she was, so she let her eyes shut and her mind drift away into a dreamless sleep.

—————

_Click. Click Click._

Ricky sat alone in his small office. In his hands was a new handgun that had just arrived for him that day. He’d been a little too busy to inspect it earlier, but now at three in the morning, it seemed as good a time as any. 

_Click_.

His hands ran over the various pieces of the weapon. Something about its angles, its ridges, its shine, just looking at it soothed him. Ricky was an excellent marksman, probably the best within the ranks of the Aces. He could shoot any target, at any distance, moving or not. 

But it wasn’t just his target skills that made Mazzara select him to lead the Aces after his death. Ricky always led with his head, never his heart. Never letting his emotions cloud his judgement. Maybe it was because of his roots from a broken home. A mom who left him, and a dad so absent he might as well has left him too. The fact that he closed off his heart. Though young, Ricky made wise decisions for the good of the gang. Which is why he was slightly offended when a they barged into his office to question his choices.

“Ricky, I didn’t want to have to do this, but enough is enough. We can’t throw away the Irvine job.” Big Red put a fist on the desk.

Ashlyn stepped up next to him. “You’re just letting this slip through our hands! This is _a lot_ of money.”

“Guys—“

“Remind me again why we haven’t made any big hits in the last four months? We’ve had little to no income. People are starting to talk.” Carlos joined in. 

“It’s going to make us look weak.”“

“The Spades are going to think we’re _incompetent_.”

“We’re losing our rep.”

“Really, Ricky, I didn’t expect this from you—“

“ _Enough_.” Ricky raised his voice—something he never really did. The group in front of him silenced. Setting the gun down on the dark wood desk in front of him, Ricky leaned forward, elbows resting on the desk. “You want an explanation, here it is: yes, we’ve been laying dormant for months. This is _intentional_. The Spades thinking we’re getting weaker is _intentional_. Doing nothing for months is going to make them think that we’re going to do nothing about the Irvine job. They’re going to go for it.”

“But that’s on Blue Edge. That’s our territory.”

“Correct.”

“But that violates the agreement.”

“Yes. It does. We’re going to use that as leverage. The Spades will have to pay reparations for the violation. They have that new gadget girl, and I want her tech. We’ll bargain for more territory while we’re at it.”

“Well what about—“

“We’ll make them hand over the goods from the Irvine's as well.”

His friends in front of him gave him some unsure looks. Ricky sighed. “Look, the last time we had conflict, a lot of people got hurt. Aces _and_ Spades. Feds got involved, both us and them lost a lot of people. They’ll want to avoid anymore fighting. They _will_ agree.”

“Are you sure, Ricky? I know you’re smart, but I also know my cousin is just as stubborn,” The red head girl crossed her arms. 

“I am sure.” Ricky leaned back into his chair. “Are you guys done complaining now?”

They nodded. 

Ricky opened one of his desk drawers, taking out a couple of files—plans for the Irvine bust. He dropped them onto the table.

“Walter Irvine leaves for his business trip on Thursday morning. We’ll start our watch that night. We’ve arranged some rooms in the surrounding buildings for lookouts. They’ll probably have snipers on the roofs, so we need to stay low. This isn’t about attacking them, we just need to collect evidence of their violation and get out of there. Got it?”

There were some scattered agreements among the group. Ricky continued with his plan. 

“There will be three watch groups. Roselyn and Nico are heading two of them, I’m heading the other one. Red, you’ll be with me. Carlos and Ashlyn, you can choose.” His eyes flitted among his friends in front of him. “You’re all dismissed.”

Thursday passed with no activity, and soon Friday rolled around, too. Ricky found himself crouched by a window, binoculars in hand, with his childhood best friend beside him. Red and Ricky had joined the Aces together. They both ran off from their homes in high school, not that their parents cared or even noticed. They’d been through so much together, they were like family. There was no resentment when Ricky was crowned leader. If they were being honest, Big Red was better at following orders than giving them. Which is why, Ricky guessed, he felt the need to confront him that night.

“Hey man,” Red started. “I didn’t mean to doubt your decision.”

“No worries,” Ricky tried to dismiss it, for he never liked talking about his feelings with anyone, even the red head.

“I do trust you, you know that right?”

“Of course.”

“It’s just that people were starting to doubt your leadership. Even Ashlyn. I think it just got to me—“

“You don’t have to apologize. She’s your girlfriend. I don’t need an explanation for why you decided to side with her.”

“I know, I know. It’s just that…I know you’ve had your doubts with her loyalty, being that she’s a former Spades and everything. And then I started dating her, and like…I don’t want you to feel like I’m not your best friend anymore—“

“ _Red,_ ” Ricky hated when they started to get sappy like this. When they started to talk about these kind of _things_. “I said it’s fine. Really. You’re all good.”

Big Red nodded, then went back to fiddling with the camera in his hand.

Ricky placed the binoculars back over his eyes, scanning over the apartment building where the hit would take place. They had been sitting there for about an hour or two, no sign of the Spades just yet. Hell, they didn’t even know if they would make the hit tonight. But Ricky had thought this plan over a thousand times, calculating every possible fallibility. This was going to work. They would be here.

Finally Ricky saw movement down on the ground. He had to adjust the focus on his binoculars a bit, but once he did, he saw it. Or rather _her._ The girl didn’t look older than nineteen, maybe twenty. She wore a tight, zip up black jacket, and black cargo pants and boots. Her hair in a low, slick bun looked almost black in the dark, but the faint light from the moon revealed it to be a chocolate brown. When she checked her surroundings, Ricky finally saw her face. The angles of it were _perfect_. Her lips and cheeks full and pinkish. 

She might’ve been the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.

The pretty girl slipped on some gloves and began to grip onto the wall. _What is she doing?_ Ricky thought. Soon enough, she started to swiftly propel herself up the side of the building, supporting herself on invisible ledges and ridges. Ricky thought back to the blueprints of the Irvine penthouse he’d looked over a couple weeks prior. _Oh my god, she’s going to climb eightfloors up the side of the building_.

_Of course. It’s her._ He’d heard talk. Rumors of a Spade spy. A girl who could get anywhere, up onto anything for a job. _Spider_. He’d heard that name around. The Spades’ Spider. Her nimble and quick movements confirmed his suspicions. She never made a wrong step, never slipped or hesitated. She quickly made it up the eight floors and popped the vent off the side of the building, starting to shimmy in. Ricky had signaled to Red when her first saw the girl to start snapping photos. The click of the camera was consistent as she let down a wire. It kept clicking as a blonde boy latched himself onto said wire and pulled himself up, joining the spider inside the vent. 

Ricky smiled internally, satisfied with himself that the first phase of his plan had been successful. Even more satisfied that he’d found another gadget to bargain for.

The girl. He wanted the girl.

—————

Drinks were being passed around, light laughter and music filling the air. Nini sat with her legs curled up on a small leather couch at the side of the room. The Spades were celebrating the big hit. Several members had gone up to her to praise her, but Nini wasn’t a huge fan of the attention. Gina noticed her keeping to herself, and sauntered over, plopping herself beside her down on the couch.

The dark skinned girl gulped down some of the beer in her hand. “What’s on your mind, Spiderwoman?”

Nini scoffed. “Ew, I hate that.”

Gina laughed. “Well it’s what you are. Eight floors! Impressive, Sal-Robs.”

“Thanks,” Nini offered a tight lipped smile.

“But seriously, answer my question. What’s going on inside that little head of yours?”

“I don’t know…” Nini swirled around the contents of her bottle. “It all just seems too good to be true, you know? Like the job was surprisingly…easy.”

“Well, look around, Roberts.” Gina motioned around the room. “It’s true, and you rocked it. Look, even pretty boy is happy.” 

Nini looked over to where EJ was socializing with some members of the gang. His jacket was off, he seemed more relaxed. Less of a leader and more just “one of the guys.” It made Nini happy to see him like that. EJ was always up tight about something—weapons shipment, heist plans, feds on their tails. Seeing him let loose was a special sight to see. He must have been pretty stressed that this job would go wrong.

Nini turned back toward her friend. “‘Pretty boy’ huh?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

Gina’s face reddened, as she curled in and looked down at her drink. “That’s not—that’s not what I meant.”

“Sure it is. I mean, he is pretty,” Nini giggled. “I think he thinks you’re pretty, too.”

“Stop.”

“I mean it! I think you should go for it.”

“He’s practically my boss.”

“Last time I checked, being a Spade is not a job. He’s not a boss. More like a…highly respected figure,” Nini tilted her chin up to complete her joke. 

“Well what about you? Any boys pique your interest?”

Nini looked down at her drink. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about that stuff since Bradley.”

Gina gave her some sympathies, but a reminder of her former beau kind of dimmed Nini’s mood for the rest of the night. 

Nini wouldn’t say she _loved_ Bradley. Nini wouldn’t say she’s ever been in love. But Bradley was the first boy to ever think of her as something _more,_ something special. When she was with him, the stress of a life of crime would fade away. He excited her, made her happy.

And when he was shot during a drive-by by the Aces, it was like a light in Nini’s heart dimmed. She really cared for Bradley, and in an instant, he was just…gone.

Which is why Nini was still extremely unsettled with the situation. Of course she trusted EJ’s judgement, but what if someone saw them? What if another war started between the two gangs? 

Nini didn’t want any more blood shed. She didn’t want to lose anyone else.

The next morning, Nini woke up the next morning to someone shaking her awake. Opening her eyes slowly, squinting to get used to the light, Kourtney’s face loomed over her.

“You need to get up. _Now._ ”

Nini peeled away the covers, quickly throwing on a sweater and some sweatpants, all the while talking with the frantic girl. “What’s going on?”

“We got a message. It’s the Aces.”

Kourtney led them outside through the back entrance. It was the side of the building so close to an adjacent one that almost no one ever saw people go in an out. They turned the corner to reveal EJ, Gina, and Seb standing in front of the North wall, examining some type of writing.

Nini’s pace increased as she saw the concerned look on EJ’s face. As she saw Gina put her hand on the boy’s arm to try and calm him. She soon got close enough to see the words.

_Have fun last night? We hope so._

_Copper St 2am 2nite_

_-A’s_

Beneath the graffiti, photographs were taped to the wall. Photos of her scaling the building, of Seb crawling into the vent. Nini’s blood went could. Of course _of course_ it was way too easy. She should have trusted her gut. Should have trusted that sinking feeling telling her that something wasn’t right.

“I’m so stupid,” EJ’s hands ran through his hair. “I was reckless, and greedy, and _stupid_ —“

“It’s okay, EJ,” Gina comforted him. “It’s just a meeting, we don’t know what they want yet.”

“But it can’t be anything good, right? I mean, we went on their turf!” Seb exclaimed. 

Gina gave him a glare and he quickly settled down. 

Attempting to aid Gina in pacifying EJ, Nini spoke, “Yeah, G’s right. It might not be to fight.”

EJ clenched his jaw. “Whatever it is, we can’t back down. We’ll look like cowards. We’re going to meet with them.”

“And if it get’s violent?”

EJ paused. “Then make sure you’re armed and prepared to die.”

2 am rolled around. Nini wore a signature black outfit—dark gray coat over a black turtle neck, cargo pants, and boots. Her hair in a low bun, slicked back and out of the way. Underneath her coat she had accessorized with multiple means of defense. Handgun, daggers, throwing kives. And underneath her gloves, her bare hands and skill. She flanked EJ’s left and Gina on his right as they waited under the flickering street light on Copper St. Some minutes passed by and still no sign of the Aces. EJ was growing impatient. Pacing slightly back and forth between the two girls. They had backup everywhere within the shadows, but she could still sense his nervousness as he checked his watch every thirty seconds.

Finally, there was movement beyond the street light, and several figures started to appear. Nini held her breath. The last time she had confronted members of the opposing gang was when they were at odds. Her adrenaline pumped through her veins, her fight or flight instincts bubbling underneath the surface. 

The first figure started to finally take shape. He walked with confidence, no doubt the leader. But when he became fully exposed in the dim yellow light, Nini was slightly surprised. His curly hair glowed copper and gold. Jawline defined and rigid. His brows were furrowed as if to look menacing, but to be quite honest, Nini found him quite attractive. 

“Ah, EJ Caswell. It’s been so long.” His voice had taken her aback as well. He held himself quite like a man, but as he spoke Nini could see that he was not much older than her. 

“You’re late.” EJ spoke coldly.

“Not even a ‘hello?’ I thought you’d treat me with a little more respect seeing that you violated our agreement.”

EJ didn’t miss a beat. “Hello, Ricky. Why did you want to meet us?”

Ricky chuckled. “I think it’s clear why I wanted to meet you. You made a hit in our territory, and we all know that is against the rules.”

“So what do you want now, huh? To fight? We both know how that ended last time. It’s not worth it, Bowen.”

The curly haired boy slid his hands into the pockets of his dark, red suit. “No, Caswell. That is not what I want. What _I_ want is to make a deal.”

“A deal?”

“Yes. A deal. You pay reparations for your violation, and we won’t wage war.”

EJ was silent for a moment, debating in his head. “What do you want?”

Ricky smiled. Nini could see it in his face that this meeting was going _exactly_ how he had planned. The Irvine hit was a trap. She should have known. 

The boy stated his demands very simply. “I want 3rd Avenue all the way down to Kings St. I want the girl’s five newest gadgets. And I want the goods from the Irvines.”

EJ scoffed. “You’re not serious.”

“Oh I am. ‘We both know how that ended last time’ as you so expertly put it. Lots of useful bodies were lost. And _you_ almost got caught by the feds. You broke the territory agreement— the _only_ thing holding up peace right now. If we went to war right now, that would be on the Spades. On _you_.”

Nini glanced towards EJ. His fists were clenched. He was being backed into a corner. 

Bowen continued. “The Irvine’s goods should be mine anyway. Just think of the rest as…interest.” He took a step forward. “I just want what I’m owed, Caswell. And then we can all move on.”

EJ took a step forward as well. “3rd Avenue to Kings St. Five of the girl’s new gadgets. _Eighty_ percent of Irvine’s money.”

“Ninety.”

“Eighty-five.” EJ held out his hand. Signaling that this was the lowest he would go. 

Ricky grinned, taking a hand out of his pocket to shake. But before it was set, the boy’s eyes flitted to Nini. 

“One more thing.”

“ _What?_ ” EJ growled.

“I want the girl.”

Nini tried to keep her composure, but it was hard to hide her shock. She felt he eyes widen, her heart rate kick up. _He wants me?_ Rage suddenly poured into her heart. She was not a _thing_ to be traded. Not a pawn in Bowen’s little game. Like hell she would be handed over. 

“Absolutely not.” EJ declared. 

“It’s either the spider or we go to war, right here right now.”

“Haven’t you asked for enough? Why do you need her, too?”

“Oh I don’t need her, but I do want her.”

“I’m not some toy to ‘want’,” Nini growled through gritted teeth, and in response an ear to ear grin spread across the boys face.

“She has venom, too! Oh now I really want her.”

“Well you won’t get her. No deal.” EJ let his hand down and started to back away.

“What a shame,” Ricky sighed. His next movements happened so fast Nini could barely register it. He pulled a gun out and aimed it at EJ before Nini could even blink. She heard the distinct sound of the gun cocking. “I can start the war, right here right now,” Ricky spoke in a low, unsettling voice. 

“Oh really?” EJ asked incredulously. _Don’t provoke him!_ Nini wanted to scream. But she knew sometimes his rage spoke louder than his logic.

“I never miss.”

Ricky’s finger started to move towards the trigger. Without even thinking, Nini ran up, throwing herself between EJ and the Ace leader. 

“Wait! _Wait.”_ Her voice came out breathlessly. She would not lose another person she cared about to this stupid gang violence. She _wouldn’t._ “I’ll do it, I’ll come with you.” She faced the boy, who’s face was covered in amusingly surprised expression. 

“Nini, no.”  
She turned around towards EJ, her family for all these years. “Don’t be stupid, EJ. Take the damn deal. I’ll be fine.”

“But Nini, we need you with the Spades,” He stepped closer, his voice lowering. “I need you with me.”

“Aw, how sweet,” Ricky swooned. 

Nini turned and glared at the boy. “Oh would you just shove it?”

He put his hands up in defense in front of him, still amused by her display.

“That’s not a good enough reason to risk conflict. You have lot’s of spies, you’ll be fine without me. Just please, take the deal.”

EJ took a moment before glancing past her to Ricky, his eyes quickly filling with anger before they softened up as he looked back at her, and nodded. Nini stepped to the side, letting the two men confront each other once again.

EJ held his hand out. Ricky took it.

“Pleasure doing business with you.” Ricky mused.

And it wasn’t until they dropped their handshake before he spoke once again. 

“Boys, take her.” 

Two men suddenly grabbed her arms. She yelled out, trying to jerk away. “I can walk myself, you morons! Let me go!” They eased up as Nini started walking back with them, the curly haired boy by her side. He looked her up and down before plastering back on that smug smile of his. 

“I think you’ll like working with us. I’m looking forward to it.”

Nini jerked at the arms restraining her one last time. 

“Go to hell.”


	2. not heartless, just stone cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay note time! 
> 
> 1\. This chapter kind of get's all over the place. I'm trying not to make this a super long fic so I had to fit in a lot of development in one chapter. Sorry if it seems rushed :((
> 
> 2\. TW this chapter deals a lot with drug addiction. I personally have not dealt with addiction myself, so if it is inaccurately depicted here, I sincerely apologize, and please let me know how I can improve. It helps play a role with some character development later on so that's why it's in here. Also, there are some symptoms of withdrawal that I have depicted. This information purely comes from google and also when I watched Shutter Island w my fam.
> 
> 3\. **You will see in this chapter what I mean when I say these gangs are HIGH END. Like, they got that cash money (oh god I'm so sorry) and a really sophisticated operation going on. Probably shouldn't have written this after I've read a bunch of dystopian books, but what can you do?
> 
> 5\. I hastily edited this so if there are typos i am sorry!
> 
> 4\. enjoy and lmk what you think!

The first time she tried to escape failed miserably. They had been holding her in a small room for about two days at that point. There was a bed, a bathroom, and a dresser, but that was pretty much it. No window, just a lamp at the bedside. They would deliver some type of fast food to her door twice a day, no more and no less. And she had not seen their leader since that day on Copper St.

Her first plan was to hide beside the door and ambush her food-deliverer. Unfortunately, she failed to realize that despite her skill, Nini couldn’t get past the 230 pound man blocking her doorway, no matter how hard she kicked and punched. After that, they made her stand at the opposite end of the room before opening the door, having her shout to signal that she was indeed far away. 

Nini’s second attempt was a little more successful. Though there was no clock available to her, she estimated the time that they would be arriving to her room. In preparation, she squirted toothpaste into her mouth, swishing it around with water. When the person arrived and called for her, she did not respond, and instead laid on the floor, shaking her body violently pretending to seize, the toothpaste mixture creating a foaming effect in her mouth. The man (his name was Bert? She thought she overheard someone call him that) stood in the doorway shocked, before running back down the hall to get help. Went running—with the door wide open. 

Nini got to her feet and started bolting. When she was first brought here, she tried to remember the way to her room. _Left, left, right, left, right._ It was dark when they had brought her here. Nini guessed she was somewhere near 43rd street, but she had no idea what building they might be headquartered in. Finally she made her last right and in front of her stood a door with bright red letters reading _EXIT_ looming over it. She felt flutters of relief in her chest as she ran forward, shoving the door open. Standing there for a moment, Nini let her victory settle in. Fresh sunlight hit her face, the sounds and smells of the city emerging.

_I did it I did it_

And then suddenly, something heavy and hard hit her on the back of her head, and all she sensed was blackness.

Consciousness came slowly, accompanied by soft sheets and a pounding headache. Wincing, Nini slowly opened her eyes, a pattern of light on the ceiling. _Sunlight_. She was in a different room, one with a window. Sitting up slowly, Nini took in her surroundings. The bed she was in was larger, king-sized. The sheets dark grey opposed to the white ones in her little prison cell-room from earlier. The furniture in this room was much nicer, too. The bedside table a dark, clean wood, a lamp slick and modern in the corner. 

Whose room was this?

As if on cue, the door began to open. Curly hair started to peak through along with a smug smile. Nini finally realized where she had been placed. It made her want to vomit. 

“You’re a slippery one, spider,” he spoke cooly as he strode into the room. “Two escape attempts in three days. Ambitious.”

“Why am I in here?” Nini asked, curling her knees up to her chest, suddenly feeling vulnerable as she sat on a bed in comfortable clothes, while Ricky stood tall with a dark gray suit on. He wore no tie, just like EJ, but he still looked clean. 

“My room’s in a more secure location of our building. Plus, after you attacked one member, and tricked one of our more…denser guards, I figured I should keep a more _personal_ eye on you.”

“So, what? You’re going to keep me locked up in here forever?” Nini spat. “Have me waiting here for you like a dog? Why would you trade for me if you were going to do nothing with me?”

“You will be used when needed. Maybe if you hadn’t been so difficult to manage, you would get more freedoms.”

“I am a person, not a _thing_ to be ‘used when needed,’ dickhead.”

Ricky grinned at the nickname. “A pain in the ass is what you are. Why would you try to escape anyway? You who was so concerned of the threat of violence.”

“I am not a Spade anymore. I am just Nini, and I can choose to leave if I want to—”

“—and go back to the Spades.” Ricky interrupted. 

“Where I go after I run is none of your concern.” Nini glared at the boy.

Ricky’s hands slid into his pockets. “Well, as _I_ see it, your services were promised as part of the deal. Therefore, you cannot leave without servicing us.”

Nini clenched her jaw, trying to withhold her anger and the urge to hit the boy with a chair. “ _Well_ , _as I see it_ , you have kept me locked up that that fucking room, and I have not had the opportunity to do anything of _service_.” She mocked his patronizing, formal tone. 

He chuckled, clearly amused by her irritation. “You can stop your worrying, little spider. Lucky for you, I have a job I need you for in three days time.”

“So I’ll be locked in here for three more days? Gonna keep sending me Happy Meals?”

“You will be allowed access to the training rooms, but only with an escort. Not Bert, god forbid,” The last part he muttered under his breath. “Someone of more…substance.”

Nini felt a strong hatred for the gang leader in front of her. She was being treated like a goddamn prisoner. If she wanted this life she would have just gotten herself arrested a long time ago. It would be better than having to listen to his annoying, arrogant voice all day. Having to look at his stupid, smug face.

“Any more questions?” He asked, his voice mockingly light and cheerful.

With her silence, he start going for the door, but as his hand went for the handle, Nini spoke up.

“I’m not going to stay in here. I’m not going to sleep in this bed. Not with you. You’re out of you’re fucking mind if you think I will.”

Ricky laughed. “Keep your pants on, I’ll be sleeping in my office during your stay.” He glanced at a door at the end of the room. “You’re cute, but not _that_ cute, princess.”

And with that, he left, closing the door behind him, and locking her in.

In the next three days Nini tried to get out of that room as much as possible. Her new…guard she guessed he was, was a red-headed boy. He didn’t look so intimidating, about the same age as Ricky, but at this point Nini’s head was still throbbing and she didn’t want to risk getting hit on the back of her head again.

Her time in the training rooms was well spent. It was a bit smaller than the massive empire of the Spades, but still a fairly sophisticated operation. They had a makeshift rock wall—that was Nini’s favorite. But there were other things, like boxing bags, target practice, and knife throwing. When she threw the knives, she imagined them slicing right through Ricky’s annoyingly attractive face. 

There was some sparring practice. Nini was persuasive enough to get the red-head to spar with her. She learned that his name was Big Red, and that he was definitely more intimidating than he looked. She learned that he was stronger, but matched her for skill. She learned that he was a lefty based on his stance, but preferred striking with his right arm. Nini also learned, that he matched her endurance, and that they could fight each other for what felt like hours before tiring. 

By the end of day three, Nini was beat. She probably shouldn’t have trained so hard the day before a job, but she would do anything to avoid sitting alone in this room, and if it meant being sore the next day—so be it. 

Nini slipped on some sweatpants and a black strappy tank top. She didn’t know who had selected her clothing, but the day prior she had arrived back from training into Ricky’s room with a new dresser by the wall. Inside was some basic women’s clothing, and although she detested anything that he provided her, she couldn’t go around naked.

But the appearance of the dresser also brought the realization of another, annoying, dreadful fact—Ricky had intended for her to stay here for a while.

Gross

She looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was around twelve am, a Friday. Almost a week since she’d arrived here. A craving filled her chest. A craving deep within her soul. EJ would have given her a dose a couple days ago. But here, Ricky didn’t know of her addiction, much less want to help her quit. She was forced to go cold turkey. The idea of withdrawal loomed over her, what it might do to her—to her ability to work, and she shuddered. 

Sitting on the bed, there was a knock on the door. Nini signaled him to come in.

And instead of heading straight for his office like he usually did, Ricky lingered. 

“What do you want?” Nini asked.

He tossed a file onto the bed, on a spot next to her. She picked it up and leafed through it. Inside were some blueprints of the same building but from different perspectives.

“It’s for tomorrow’s hit. I’ll need you to go up the side and get into a room through the window. When you’re in there, you’ll let me in through the door.”

She looked more at the prints in her hands, coming across a layout of the hallway. “Why can’t you just use Gina’s skeleton key? Didn’t you get that from the deal?”

“These are code accessed locks. We may have your friend’s gadgets, but we don’t have her brain.”

“Okay. Sounds doable.” Nini spoke in a dismissive tone, folding up the file and holding it out for the boy to take back. But he didn’t move.

She sighed, dropping her arm. “ _What?”_

“Nothing,” he put on a boyish smile. “How was your day?”

Nini narrowed her eyes, and threw the file back at him. He caught it against his chest as if he were expecting her to lash out. A grin covered his face from ear to ear.

“ _Goodbye,_ asshole” 

“Goodnight, little spider.”

“Fuck off.”

The next night Nini found herself at the base of a tall, dark building. It was some type of residential building, and from the looks of it, its residents were definitely wealthy. She was to scale the side, twelve stories off the ground. The climb would be higher than usual, but not unfamiliar to the girl. 

Nini started in a small dip in the side of the building, something like an inverted column that she could muscle up. Pressing her gloved hands outwards inside the space, Nini hopped up, letting her feet latch onto the wall in the same fashion as her hands. Slowly she started to shimmy upwards, alternating the pressure between her upper and lower body. Her pace began to quicken, the movement of her body becoming mechanic, effortless. Soon enough, the ground was a distant memory, and the target window appeared next to her.

Without skipping a beat, Nini pushed off of the wall, her body pivoting and landing on the narrow windowsill. Keeping her balance, the spider pulled her knife out of a pocket on her hip, and swiped it through the gap in the window, breaking the lock. 

Pushing upwards on the window pane, it slid open and Nini climbed through. 

The space she stumbled into was a living room. Familiar to the space because of the blueprints and Ricky’s description earlier that day, Nini headed straight for a painting on the wall. According to Ricky’s instruction, she was to run her fingers along the underside of canvas, feeling for a small button. Something in the wall clicked, and the painting swung open.

The Ace leader didn’t specify exactly what they were stealing, never going too deep into detail. And if Nini was being honest, she didn’t quite care what the Aces needed. She expected wads of cash to appear in front of her, or maybe weapons, tech, important information.

But when she came face to face with the contents of the safe, the air left Nini’s lungs. She felt chills at the back of her neck.

In front of her were stacks and stacks of white bricks, sealed in plastic.

EJ never assigned her to these types of jobs. Not since she stole drugs from one of her earliest heists. And recently, he had kept her from it not because he didn’t trust her anymore, but because she didn’t trust herself on these jobs, and had asked him to keep her away. 

However, Ricky was not EJ. And now she served Ricky.

Shoving down her urges, Nini started grabbing the bricks, stuffing them into the bag. The faster she could pack them, the sooner she could zip up the duffel and seal them away forever. 

But as the bricks passed through her hands, darkness started seeping into her mind. Thoughts she desperately tried to push away. 

_Maybe I can control the dosage like EJ does_

_I can take one right now_

_Take one_

_Just have a little bit_

_Do it_

_I can control it_

_Just a little bit_

The words flooded into her head. She tried to build the walls to stop them, but every time she grabbed a brick from the safe, it was like another wrecking ball started to swing at her self control. 

The last white brick entered her hands. Nini’s heart raced. _It’s the last one. Just put it away, Nini. Put it away_. 

But it felt so light. And she had a pocket large enough to carry it. And maybe she could control hersel—

A soft, melodic knocking emerged from the silence. It was Ricky’s signal. 

Without thinking anymore, Nini headed towards the door, slipping the white brick into a pocket on the inside of her coat. 

———

The girl who answered his knock did not look like the angry girl on his bed the night before. This girl looked flustered, and not simply irritated by his presence. This girl looked pale and sweaty, and not pink cheeked and put together. 

“Are you okay?” Ricky asked, surprised by the sincerity in his voice.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

She looked a little distracted, but he took her word for it.

“We have to hurry. I think they followed me up here. Did you pack it?”

Nini nodded and and gestured towards a black duffel on the floor below an open safe. He jogged over, crouching down to inspect the contents of the bag. The Aces had no use for the drugs themselves, but on the black market, this could make them millions of dollars.

“Good work,” He hastily zipped up the bag, throwing it over his shoulder. “There’s a service elevator down the hall, c’mon.”

The pair peeked down the hallway before they entered it. Ricky’s gun was out, in his hands ready to fire at anyone that may cross his way. Gunshots could be heard from other parts of the building, but the area they were in seemed clear.

Suddenly, Ricky heard yelling from behind them. He whipped around. Armed men were rounding the corner. Before thinking, he pushed Nini behind him and raised his gun.

With the small motion of his finger, bullets started flying. Each one meeting its target, exactly where Ricky had intended. Chest, head, shoulder. The group in front of him couldn’t even get a shot on the pair before they were all on the ground.

He turned back towards Nini. “We have to keep going.”

He tried to usher her to keep moving, but the spider’s eye’s darted past him, her arm raised. A flash of silver whizzed past him, Ricky’s head snapping around to see where her knife landed. A man he didn’t see before had fallen to the floor, the knife embedded in his gut. 

Ricky walked over to the guy who was cowering on the ground, his gun out of his reach. 

“Hey, what are you doing? We should go now.” He heard the girl’s voice behind him.

Ricky raised his own gun. 

“Wait, he’s already injured!”

He cocked it.

“ _Ricky! Don’t!”_

The sound of his gunshot rang through the air, and the man went limp.

—————

Nini peeled off her gloves, shoving them into her dresser.

“I know you always hate me, but this feels…different.” Ricky followed her into his room, not heading for his office just yet. 

She ripped off her coat, throwing it down aggressively on the surface of the dresser.

“It’s like you hate me a little extra right now.”

Her fingers clawed at the clean bun on her head, her hair coming loose in waves. 

“Are you gonna respond to me, or are you going to keep throwing a tantrum?”

Nini took a deep breath, pausing her movements for a moment before slowly turning to face the boy. “How could you do that?”

“Do what?”

“How can you be so—so heartless. So _cruel._ ” 

“What are you talking about?”

“That man was down! He was injured and immobile and you just killed him!” White hot anger poured into Nini’s chest. Her fists so tight at her sides, she wouldn’t be surprised if she drew blood from her palms. 

“That man was injured, but he wasn’t brain dead. He could have still reached for his gun.” Ricky’s voice was low and even, as if he was simply reciting a fact. 

“We could have made it out of there before he even lifted a finger—“

“If someone came by, he could have told them what direction we went,” Ricky countered

“You shoot before you think! And you just _kill_.” She took a step towards the boy. With every word she spoke, his anger slowly rose to match her’s, but she didn’t care, she kept firing. “How can someone be so—so _cold._ ”

“That was a _calculated_ move.” Ricky’s voice began to raise.

“A human life is _not_ a calculation!”

“It becomes one when when your own life at stake. When _other_ lives are at stake. The odds of us making it out unscathed were better with him dead than alive.”

“You protect me because I’m a valuable tool, not because I’m a person. You threaten to wage a war—gambling everyone’s lives—just to strike a deal. You treat life and death like a math equation, like a game” At this point, Nini was yelling at the boy. Forgetting that he was the gang leader of the Aces, forgetting that she was in his room, unarmed, while he still had a gun attached to his hip.

“I lead with my head, not with my heart. It’s how I’ve kept this place running, how I’ve kept everyone in this gang alive”

“Yes, ‘this gang.’ But you forget that anyone other than an Ace is still a person. A person with a life, a heart”

Ricky shrunk down slightly, getting defensive. “I haven’t forgotten that other people have lives, okay? That they have hearts—“

Nini scoffed before her whole face twisted into a look of pure anger. “ _Oh really?_ Because I think that if I carved open your chest right now, all I’d find is a fucking lump of coal.” She was close enough to him that she could point at his chest, her fingers just inches away. “You forget that people have hearts because you do not have one of your own. You have no compassion, no capacity for _emotion._ ” Nini dared get any closer. “You are a horrible, horrible human being.”

Ricky clenched his jaw tight, like he was trying to retrain a storm inside of him. “You say these things like you know my life, but you do not.” His voice was low a terrifying. “You call me these things when you do not know a thing about my past. Look at the life you live, Nini. Death is all around us. It is _inevitable_. I am the leader of the Aces, it is my _job_ to gamble lives, to make decisions to protect _my_ people. I’m not going to stand here listening to you scream at me when you know nothing of what you are screaming.”

Ricky stormed towards his office door, tearing it open. “Grow up, Nini, before you come and yell at me again.”

And with that he slammed his door shut. 

————

In the next week, Nini’ path did not cross with Ricky’s at all. Not even in his room. She guessed that he had some other entrance to his office, but she didn’t know for sure or even care. She stood by what she said to him. He had killed that man for no valid reason, and Nini was still pissed about it. 

Most of her time was spent with Big Red. In a way she felt bad that he was stuck with her, but they got along nice enough. She was even granted the freedom to eat in the dining hall with him and his group of friends. There was a boy, Carlos. He was very talkative, but was slow to warm up to Nini. Even after a few days of eating at the same table with her, he would still only acknowledge her a couple times in a conversation. Big Red’s girlfriend was much more friendly, however. Ashlyn was sweet and actually seemed curious about Nini’s life. 

Nini was happy to be distracted by these new friends, for she found that when she was alone, the thought of dipping into her stash of drugs persisted at the back of her mind. She still had not taken any—she was proud of that, but every night as she craved it, Nini immensely regretted stealing it in the first place. In passing days, Nini found herself getting dizzy, distracted. One time she had been walking around with Big Red and totally forgot where she was or why she was with him. She knew that the symptoms of her withdrawal would only get worse, and sometimes the thought was so scary, that she would take the white brick out of the bottom of her dresser where she had kept it hidden, and genuinely consider using some. 

A few gunshots rang through the air. Big Red let his arms fall in front of him, the gun still clutched in his hands, to admire his handiwork. Five bullet holes fused into a clump at the center of the target. 

“Aaaand that’s how you do it,” he commented, making Nini laugh. 

“Okay now, let’s not get too cocky.” Nini walked over to take the weapon in his hands. “I still think I’m a better marksman than you.”

“Oh really now?”

“Yup. I bet I can get all five bullets into one single hole,” Nini bragged.

“How much?” Big Red crossed his arms.

“Huh?”

“How much you wanna bet?”

Nini chuckled. “All my bread rolls for a week.”

“Damn! You’re really sure of yourself, girl. You do love those bread rolls.”

Nini grinned as she took her stance before the target. She narrowed her eyes as she cracked her neck to the side. Slowly, she brought her hands up to shoot. 

The first shot rang out. But it felt…different. Something wasn’t right. Nini looked at her hands before her, gripped tightly on the gun. They were shaking. _Shaking_. Her eyes widened. She hadn’t even noticed that they were shaking. No matter how hard she flexed her muscles, the tremors wouldn’t stop. Nini gritted her teeth and tried to shoot again. This time, she immediately brought her gun down to inspect her work. 

Neither of the bullets landed in the center. 

Nini turned back to Red and practically shoved the gun back into his hands. She held her shaking hands out in front of her, wringing them, squeezing them tight, trying to get them to stop. 

_The withdrawal_.

“Hey, Nins, you okay?” Big Red asked, interrupting her from her moment. 

She brought her hands together in front of her in her best efforts to stabilize them. “Um…yes. Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m just tired, you know? Overworked.” She looked up at him and smiled quickly. “I guess you win my bread rolls.”

Red nodded, but his eyes kept flitting back to her hands. Luckily for Nini, they still weren’t close enough friends for him to be overly concerned, and he seemed to have accepted her answer.

Nini could only imagine the reaction she would get out of EJ.

“I guess we should be done for the day,” Big Red spoke up. They began packing up their stuff and making their way out of the training rooms. Nini’s attention still darted back to her hands.

“Hey, do you mind if we make a quick stop?” Red asked. “I just have to drop this off.” He held up a file that was in the mix of his belongings. Nini nodded and followed him out.

They way he lead her made her think they were simply going back to Ricky’s room, but before the turn into his hall, Red made a turn in the opposite direction. They approached a door, and without knocking, Big Red and Nini entered.

A large desk was positioned at the back wall. A laptop sat half opened accompanied by a mess of papers and small gadgets. There was a couch at another side of the room. Blankets were hastily thrown on it, and the pillow still had the indent of a head. 

_I’m in Ricky’s office_.

Nini had only seen glimpses of it when he entered through his room, but not more that a sliver past the door. It surprised her that he wasn’t more…organized. For a man so calculated, his office looked so careless. 

“I just have to find a place for this in the filing cabinet, just hang around for a sec,” Big Red told Nini as he made his way to the back of the office. 

Nodding, Nini began to look around. To the right of the desk, Ricky had a bunch of _stuff_ attached to the wall. Mostly blueprints, layouts of buildings or weapons. He kept newspapers of crime reports—no doubt on Ace crimes. _Ha,_ Nini thought, _He likes to keep trophies of his hits. Arrogant ass._

Her eyes kept scanning. There was barely anything personal. No pictures of his friends, his family. The only picture he did have with people in it, was a tiny polaroid of him and a bunch of kids. 

Nini felt Big Red approach her side. 

“Who are those kids?” She asked to the air.

Red caught the question. “They’re from the children’s home across the city.”

_Huh??_ “Why is he with them?” 

“He donates a lot of the Aces earnings to that home. That’s why our operation isn’t as funded as the Spades.”

Nini’s mouth fell open as she turned her head towards the red-head. Ricky donating? To _children_? She didn’t think he even had the capacity to care about…anything.

“What?” Red asked, reading the incredulous look on her face.

Nini shook away her shock. “N-nothing. I just—I didn’t expect him to care about that kind of stuff.”

Big Red sighed. “I think there’s a lot you wouldn’t expect from him, Nini.”

She felt he face redden a bit. _Oh, so he must have heard about their little argument_. 

“How come he donates?” 

“That’s something you may want to ask _him_.” Big Red offered her a tight lipped smile. “It’s not my place.”

Taking one more glance at the polaroid, Nini nodded. Yeah, she might just do that.

————

His mouth felt dry by the amount of talking he had done today. The past week had been filled with meetings. New clients, suppliers, dealers. So many things to organize and people to reason with. By the time he got back into his office, it was well past midnight and his social battery was nearly run dry. 

Which is why he barely paid attention to a soft knocking on one of his doors, and let the person come in.

“Ricky?”

His head snapped up to see the girl standing before his desk. Clad in a large sweatshirt and shorts that weren’t visible underneath the huge volume of fabric that was her top, Nini stood awkwardly, fiddling with her fingers in front of her. 

The boy felt a wave of anger wash over him. The former Spade was so quick to accuse him of being such an awful human being. So quick to believe she knew who he was, what he was like. But that wave soon dissipated has he continued to look her up and down.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, she was kind of really fucking cute standing there like that. 

Ugh.

Tearing his eyes away, Ricky went back to filling out some of the paperwork in front of him. It was mostly forged forms that would keep sending electricity to their establishment, but he found the girl lost in the middle of his office to be _quite_ distracting. “What do you want?” He asked dismissively.

“Oh, um, I was in here with Big Red earlier,” her words came out quick, unsure. 

“….okay.”

He could see her shake her head out of the corner of his eye, almost reprimanding herself. “Well, he just helped me realize some things. And—and I saw this thing on your wall, and I guess I came here to say, um…”

“You’ve never apologized to someone—like this— before, haven’t you?” If Ricky wasn’t trying so hard to be mad at this girl, he might have smiled.

She sighed, her lips slightly curling up. “Yeah. But I can do it, so uh—“ She took a deep breath. “Ricky Bowen, I am sorry that I misjudged you, and I was wrong to accuse you so quickly. You’re right, I don’t know you, and it’s not my place to judge you or your methods. And I’m sorry that I yelled at you and called you a horrible human being.”

“—and cruel.”

“Yes, that too.” She frowned.

“—and heartless and cold and emotionless and—“

“Okay damn, Bowen! Were you writing it all down?”

Ricky finally let himself smile. He admired her for actually having the gall to stand here before him and admit her wrongs. “Thank you, Nini. For apologizing. A lot of people don’t have the courage to come back and say sorry, so thank you. Really.”

“Well, I was kind of being a bitch. And it was a total over reaction on my part so—“

“I don’t think it was.” Ricky admitted aloud. Nini’s face twisted into a mixture of surprise and confusion. “I mean, yes, you shouldn’t have called me all of those things, but a man died and I think it’s still okay to be upset about that.” Ricky spoke as he stood from his chair and made his way around his desk, leaning back on it “So I am sorry, Nini, for being insensitive about that.”

“Apology accepted,” Nini smiled softly. Ricky found himself staring that those lips. They curled up in the most beautiful way that made her face glow and made her cheeks—

Ricky cleared his throat. “So what exactly on my wall made you change your mind?”

“Oh, right,” Nini gestured towards the wall. “It was the picture with the kids from the children’s home. I guess I was just surprised you…cared.”

“A lot of people don’t know about that actually.”

“Can I ask why you help them?” 

Ricky’s mouth opened a moment before closing it again. There were suddenly no words in in his mouth left to give.

“Sorry, If that’s over stepping I totally get it, you don’t have to—“

“No, it’s okay.” To be honest, Ricky was unsure if it was okay or not. The stories of his past, his family—he never really shared that with anyone except Big Red and a few other close friends. But as he stared at this small but venomous girl, who somehow had the courage—the vulnerability—to stand before him and apologize (and call herself a bitch), Ricky figured he might as well be a bit vulnerable, too. “When I was younger, my mom left.”

Nini seemed to shrink back at his sudden openness, but he continued.

“Just straight up left. No warning, no goodbye. I just woke up one day and she was…gone. So it was just me and my dad. But if we’re being honest here, by dad was the most absent parent he could be. I sometimes wouldn’t see him for days, and then when I did see him, he was passed out on the couch with an empty bottle in his hand. The neighbors started to take notice. You know, I would walk to and from by house and my dad was never in sight, stuff like that. So child protective services came and took me.” Ricky scratched the side of his cheek, trying to recall all of the events. “And I lashed out at them. Like I went completely berserk, fighting them, trying not to let them take me to that children’s home.”

“How come?”

“Well I was waiting for my mom,” Ricky said as a matter of factly. “I loved my mom _so_ much. And I kept believing she would come back. No matter how irrational it was, I wanted to stay in that house because I was worried that if she came back and I wasn’t there, she would never be able to find me.” The boy took a small glance at the photograph on the wall. “But I was just a little kid and I couldn’t fight them off. So they took me to the home. Obviously, I wasn’t going to just give up. After a couple of days I left, or rather escaped. I hid out at Big Red’s for a while when they were looking for me, and once they stopped coming by my house, I went back and kept living with my dad.”

Nini tilted her head. She seemed genuinely curious about his story. Ricky found himself pleasantly surprised. “Well then why do you donate to the home—now?”

Ricky sighed. “Life with my dad sucked. I grew up pretty much on my own. My mom never showed. And then I ended up here. I’m not saying I hate my life now. But I always wondered if my life would have been any better if I just let them take me, if I had just sucked it up and lived there.” Ricky waves his hand towards the polaroid. “So now I help them out, so hopefully some kid gets a better life.”

He let his eyes wander to the brunettes face. There was no look of judgment, but also no look of admiration of his good will. Her brows furrowed as if she were just letting the information about him sit with her, mold her image of him. 

Ricky took a step forward. “There is something you have to understand, though, Nini. I waited for my mom because I _loved_ her. Because I let my feelings—my emotions control what I did with my life.”

A flash of understanding appeared on the girl’s face. 

“I swore to myself I would never allow that to happen again. I would never lead with my heart. I would contemplate and calculate and _think_ about every and any decision I made.”

She stepped forward as well. “But isn’t that equally as irrational? Surely _only_ leading with your head is as bad as only leading with your heart.”

“Not necessarily.”

Nini crossed her arms. “Well I believe that you need a little bit of both.”

‘Well I don’t.”

“Well then that’s dumb.”

“Well then good thing you’re not the leader of this gang, spider.”

Nini smiled at him. He felt relief pass through him. He liked this. He liked teasing her. Liked their fun little banter. 

Suddenly Nini’s eyebrows creased. He wondered whether he did something wrong, said something wrong, but she took a small side step to regain her balance. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. I’m just a little tir—“ This time she winced, her eyes shutting tight. She brought her fingers to her temple. “Ow.” She groaned.

“What is it?” Ricky asked, stepping closer. He placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to keep her stable. “What’s the matter, Nini?”

“It’s a little—a little bright in here,” She squinted her eyes open, taking a quick glance towards the desk lamp before shutting her eyes again. “Why is it so bright?”

Her knees started to wobble, but Ricky kept his hold on her. “It’s not bright, Nini, we’re in my office. What’s going on?” His voice became lower, deeper with concern.

“Hurts,” She nearly whispered. She seemed almost out of breath, panting. “Oh fuck, i—it hurts.”

“Your head?” 

And Nini nodded once more before crying out, and falling to her knees.


	3. unnatural

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> I don't have as many notes as i usually do--just one thing:
> 
> I have so many ideas and things I want to do with this story--but I feel like my writing isn't quite ~there~ enough to execute it. Sorry if it seems rushed or anything, or if it's disappointing compared to my earlier chapters, but I would love some tips on how to improve my writing!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Someone was in the bed with her.

Or more specifically, there was someone was laying behind her, rubbing circles in the back of her neck with their thumb.

When Nini slowly rose from her sleep, she could only recall a few memories from what she presumed was the night beforehand. She remembered her head feeling as if it had been stuffed with razors, and then packed in with a hammer. She remembered the dim light of Ricky’s office turning into bright flashes of white light. She recalled the floor beneath her knees, arms plucking her off the ground as blinding pain overcame her brain.

Man, withdrawal sucks _ass_.

Nini started to shift her body, the motion alerting the other person as they drew their hand away. Rubbing her eyes, she began to turn over. The sensitivity to light had worn away, and for now the sunlight cast a soft glow to the sheets around her. And as her vision came into focus, so did the mystery person in front of her. 

“What the hell!” She exclaimed, scrambling to back up, pulling the covers further up her body.

“A ‘thank you’ would be nice,” Ricky spoke, amused. 

She covered her face with her hands, sinking back down onto the pillow. “ _Ricky,_ why are you in my bed?”

“Actually, this is _my_ bed, if you’ve already forgotten. And don’t worry, spider,” He motioned to his legs, clad in some sweatpants, “I’m over the covers.”

She took her hands away from her face and glared at him, her eyes hot with anger.

Ricky’s chin jutted out as he defended himself. “Look, you were out of it, like _screaming_ in pain. What was I supposed to do? Let you be miserable?”

Nini rubbed her temples, sighing. Letting herself assess her body, the girl noticed how much better she felt compared to last night. At how significantly the pain had subsided. “Where did you learn to do that anyway?” She asked him

He smiled, satisfied that she had given in to his antics. The boy’s face softened up a bit, he looked down at the sheets. “My mom used to have migraines.” He waved his hand as if to cushion the weight of his words. “My dad used to do it for her when they were…when they could stand each other.”

“Oh,” Nini’s voice became quieter. “Well…thank you.”

He shook his head and frowned as if it were nothing. As if he hadn’t stayed up the majority of the night rubbing the back of her neck. 

“Do you usually get migraines?” Ricky asked, shifting the focus of the conversation from his broken up parents to Nini.

“No, I…um…”Nini hesitated.

Well she _had_ to tell him now. Other symptoms would come soon, even more that she couldn’t hide. And not to mention her ability to perform as his _spider_. She had tried to go cold turkey. Truly tried to overcome this—this sickness. But that just wasn’t in the cards for her. Not for the type of life she led.

Nini sat up, brushing back her hair, trying to gain some sense of formality for the explanation she had to give. As she did this, Ricky rose as well, crossing his legs on the bed.

“I’ve been struggling with addiction since I was, like, sixteen.” 

She could see the words like bricks pour over Ricky. 

Nini continued. “I actually got kicked out by my moms because of it. That’s how I ended up with the Spades. And then with the Spades, I used to steal some from jobs. EJ found out eventually, so he started to help me quit. He would give me a lesser amount each week so at least I was still, you know, _sane_ for jobs.”

Ricky shook his head as if to shake off the shock, to shake off the realization that he had sent her on a drug job. “Wait—he was still giving you drugs? Like up to the point when you came here?”

Nini nodded. Slowly, she peeled the covers off of her to walk over to her dresser. Opening up the drawers, she brushed off the socks that covered the white brick. She had to do this, she had to show him. If she couldn’t do her job, who knows what hell, what violence, that might lead to between gangs. 

Plucking it out from the drawer, Nini turned around slowly to face the boy. 

“Okay, before you say _anything_ ,” She observed the bewildered and shocked look on his face. “I’ve regretted it ever since I took it. But I just couldn’t help it, okay? I couldn’t just leave it. But I haven’t taken any yet. I was trying not to, I was trying to just cut myself off.” She tossed it towards the bed, and it landed right on Ricky’s lap. He looked as if she dropped a grenade on him. 

“I understand that trying to quit this way and withdrawal and everything will seriously affect how I do my job as your spider, so I trust—“ the word felt foreign in her mouth, especially directed towards him, “—you to administer it to me,” She motioned to the drugs. “So I can stay…competent.”

Ricky remained silent, staring at the drugs, at the the girl in front of him. Nini violently bit the inside of her mouth. Oh god, he would be _furious_ that she stole from a job. She probably wouldn’t be allowed to go the dining hall anymore. Or hang out with Red and his friends. She’d probably be sent back to that windowless room.

“Look, I’m really sorry,” Nini couldn’t stand the silence. “And I know that you’re probably _really_ angry with me, and I really hope this doesn’t affect the deal and—“

“I’m not giving this to you.”

Nini tilted her head. “What?”

Ricky held up the brick. “This. These drugs. _Are you insane?_ ”

Her eyebrows creased, trying to understand what the boy was telling her. “I’m sorry, I don’t understa—“

“Do you really think I would fuel your addiction just so you could do a _job_? Nini, this is poison. I’m not letting you take any of this.”

Nini’s mouth gaped open. “Really? But I wouldn’t be able to—”

“Of course!” He looked at her like she was blabbering gibberish. Ricky stood up from the bed as he ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, I’m gonna go and put this… somewhere. We’ll probably sell it or—or something,” he muttered the last sentence. “ _You_ are not going on any more drug hits, or any more jobs for that matter until we can get this under control, okay?”

Nini nodded, still in a mild state of stun. 

“Okay, I’ll check in with you later,” Ricky headed for the door shaking his head. “Is she crazy?” He muttered to himself.

Once the door shut, Nini let the events that just unfolded sink in. Not sending her on jobs? Helping her quit? A surprisingly pleasant thought bubbled up into her mind.

He cared about her as more than just a tool, more than just a spider. Ricky cared about Nini…as Nini.

Huh. 

Her image of Ricky had changed drastically over the past twenty four hours. He went from a cruel monster to a boy who donates to children’s homes. A gang leader, who regarded her as nothing other than a tool, to a friend who was helping her get over drugs. 

_A friend_.

She could see it. Nini could see the friendship forming. Before, his smugness made her want to punch his face in, but she had to admit that the teasing was growing on her. 

After he ran out of his room to get rid of that cursed white brick, Nini decided she should move on with her day. Her head was still recovering from her sudden migraine, so training with Big Red was pretty light. She practiced some lock picking, and played around with her sleight of hand skills. Nini even tried to teach the red head some of her tricks, but soon into their lesson she learned he wasn’t quite as…graceful as a pickpocket needed to be.

Lunchtime rolled around. Much to her dismay, Big Red had not forgotten about their little bet, and her bread rolls were gobbled down—not by her. Not to her surprise, Nini didn’t see the Ace leader around all day. He was always up to God knows what during the day, but she could only guess that he had several leader-duties he had to attend to. She wondered if he ever took any time for himself.

Night time came slowly. She had long since parted from her escort, and was sat in Ricky’s room, back in some pajamas. Earlier that evening, she had snuck into the boy’s office to steal a book or two, for there was only so much staring out the window one could do in a day, and her phone had been taken away long ago when she first reached this fine establishment (which she learned was actually an apartment building that had been closed down due to asbestos, and the Aces had cleared it out and made it safe to live in—somehow). 

Well into the book, as her craving started bubbling up from under her skin, there was finally a knock on the door. With a lazy “come in,” Nini’s attention shifted to the boy stumbling in with his arms filled with boxes.

Well—board games to be precise.

Nini sat up from her position upside down on the bed, her feet climbing up the wall. She smiled as he struggled to close the door behind him.

‘What’s all this?” She asked, as he dropped all of the games onto the bed.

“This is what I call ‘fun distractions’” Ricky said, smiled down at the girl. “Take your pick, and let’s play!”

Nini giggled and started sifting through the boxes. After a little while debating between _Battleship_ and _Scrabble_ , the pair settled on the former. With the tiny little ships, they started playing. Nini couldn’t remember the last time she actually played a game. With the Spades she always seemed to be busy. Always working or training or helping EJ with…something. She couldn’t remember the last time she truly sat down and some time for herself, some time of have fun. 

She noticed that conversation with Ricky flowed so easily. In her time here, Nini had forgotten that he wasn’t much older than her. In fact, he might’ve been the same age as her, not that she had ever asked. Seeing him sitting on his bed, playing a game, laughing. It was hard to imagine him shooting a gun or striking gang deals on Cooper St. He just seemed…like a boy. 

They finished a round of the game, and Nini decided it was time to play something different. 

“Hey,” Ricky started, as he observed her choosing a game. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m giving you full freedom of our compound. And you don’t have to be escorted around by Big Red anymore.”

Nini’s head popped up for her decision making. “What? Really? Why?”

Ricky scratched the back of his head. “Yeah. You trusted me enough to give me those drugs, so I trust you enough to go wherever you want.”

“And you’re not worried about me trying to run away anymore?” She asked.

“I think you have more honor than that.” 

She gave him a tight lipped smile, “Thank you, Ricky. Really.”

He shook off her way too sincere, sappy appreciation. “It’s nothing. I mean, you are here kind of against your will, so, I mean, it’s like the _bare minimum_ I could do.” He chuckled.

“Well, I volunteered,” She countered. “I know I kind of hated it here at first, but I guess I understand now. This life—these gangs. As much as I miss the Spades, I understand why you made the deal.” 

There was silence for a small moment. Nini looked back down at all of her options, she could feel Ricky still staring at her. He cleared his throat. 

“And you don’t have to stay in this room anymore. I can set you up somewhere else.”

“Oh.” Nini felt a slight surprise in her voice. There was no explanation for it, but she felt her heart sink slightly at his offer. She had gotten so used to her time in this room. Gotten used to seeing him pass by, ask her how her day was. 

“Is that okay?” He asked quickly.

Although it confused her, she had a feeling down in her gut. And…she didn’t want to leave. “Would you mind if I could stay here?” Nini asked before she had the second to think about what it was implying. Seeing the shock on Ricky’s face, she rambled on, her face reddening. “I just mean that with the quitting and the withdrawal, I don’t know if I’m ready to go some place alone yet. And I thought that maybe it would be a nice distraction. But if that’s not okay I totally understand, you probably want your room back and—“

“Nini, it’s okay. You can stay as long as you like. I get it.”

They kept on playing until the sun came up.

Nini quite enjoyed her freedom around the building in the next few weeks. She discovered that there was so much more than the training room and dining hall. She found a rec room with some activities. There was table tennis, board games (probably where Ricky had taken all of them from), and even an arcade machine that she guessed was probably stolen from somewhere. The gang had utilized the apartment building’s old pool, but had converted it into a miniature skate park, the inside of the empty pool absolutely covered with graffiti and filled with skater boys and girls. Nini’s favorite find, however, was a small study room. Ashlyn explained to her one day during lunch that some Ace members were still trying to go on with their studies, and the room was also used by a few younger members who were still in school. However, it especially stuck out to Nini because of the miniature library it contained. 

Reading was a leisure activity that Nini found she never had time for as a Spade. But now with all this free time not working, she had rediscovered her love for the hobby. She’d often leave the study room with an armful of books, stumbling back to Ricky’s room to dive into each title. With her nose buried deep into a book, Nini was thoroughly distracted.

And at night Ricky would come by after a long day with board games or snacks or movies to watch. They’d play and talk for hours. For a boy who hated getting personal, he had _a lot_ to talk about. Like favorite restaurants and TV shows. Hidden places around the city, or that time he fell off a skateboard in the fourth grade and had bruises down the side of his legs for weeks. And the best shot he'd ever taken on a job, and the time he jumped onto a moving train to get away from the feds. Nini grew to enjoy his presence more and more every day. At times it felt wrong to like to be around him so much. Like she shouldn’t be smiling at his jokes or interested in his stories, but instead be orchestrating an escape or wondering what her friends were doing back home.

But then she would find herself studying his face when he wasn’t looking. His curls, his jaw, his lips. Studying him, and think of the concern in his eyes when she had a headache, or felt so worn down she stayed in bed. And she would think of his hand on her back and fingers in her hair when her head was bent over the toilet, body shaking with chills. Think of waking up with his body over the covers, and his thumb rubbing circles at the back of her neck.

But before she could dare to think about what it would be like to run her hands through his hair, or be just a breath away from his lips, Nini would snap out of her trance and force herself to look away.

Because a Spade spider shouldn’t be feeling these feelings. 

Especially for an Ace.

—————

Ricky suggested a walk that afternoon. It was one of the rare times he found himself with some time away from meetings and new deals and other gang-related activities, and Ricky immediately searched for her.

Upon hearing what the Spade leader was giving her, doing to her—that EJ was giving Nini drugs just so she could do her job, Ricky was furious. How could someone be that selfish? How could someone prioritize a person’s skills rather than their well-being? He wouldn’t do that, be like that. 

And Ricky could only guess that the little spider had woven a web to ensnare him. A gleaming, glittering web, so delicate and so alluring that he wouldn’t be able to resist. That was his only explanation to these _things_ he was feeling in his chest. Because these feelings could not be of his own making. No, this was her fault. Her fault for sassing him in such a cute way and touching his arm when she laughed. Her fault for showing genuine interest in what he had to say, and having such a sweet sounding voice. Her fault for being so beautiful it became unbearable. Her fault for making him like her so damn much. 

And he kept telling himself he needed to shut it out because he swore off feelings and liking pretty girls and feeling butterflies in his stomach. Because feelings were irrational and _god forbid_ he cared about someone enough to love them. But then one look at her, and the walls came down. And all he wanted to do was care for her. 

Shit.

So it was no surprise in that afternoon when he had some free time that Ricky sought her out. And when he got to his room, Nini’s nose was nearly pressed against his window, watching the snow fall outside. She looked desperate to get out there. Like she wanted the glass to dissolve and to dive out into the white magic. 

Ricky couldn’t help it. He saw how much she yearned to be in the snow. So he grabbed his coat, threw one at her (for which she cursed at him for), and they went for a walk. 

The air was crisp and cold, their breath floating up, up, and away. Ricky rushed Nini into his favorite cafe. It was tiny, but the owners loved him, for he occasionally supplied them with suspiciously low cost coffee beans. It was one of those cafes where the tables were crafted from that old, reclaimed wood. Where none of the chairs or couches or tables matched, and at least one of the baristas wore a dark green beanie.

Ricky watched Nini’s face soften as the warmth hugged her face. Her nose was red and puffy, her coat speckled with snow. He watched her take in the rich smells and the cozy environment. He smiled to himself. 

At the counter, Ricky ordered while Nini admired all of the fancy espresso machines and other trinkets. 

“Two hot chocolates, please.”

Nini turned to him. “Not coffee?”

He put a hand on her back to lead her to his favorite table. “Trust me.”

Nini’s first sip of that drink was magical. The second the rich chocolate passed her lips, her eyes lit up, dimples forming on her cheeks as she instinctively smiled despite the drink in her mouth. The cup left her upper lip adorned with a whip cream mustache, which Ricky made fun of and consequently wiped it off with a napkin. 

Finishing up their drinks, Nini requested to go to the park. There they saw some kids laughing, playing in the white powder building snowmen and making angels. On the lake they saw people skating, couples slipping and sliding, clinging onto each other. 

They walked side by side until Nini stopped abruptly. “Shoot, I need to tie my shoes, just hang on for a sec.”

Ricky kept watching the park as Nini crouched down to attend to her shoe, or so he thought. Not five seconds later he felt a _whack_ on the back of his head. Ice went down his coat, and he turned to see Nini’s arm extended, her fingers loose in front of her.

Damn her and her impeccable aim.

A devious smile crawled onto his face. “Oh, you’re _so_ dead.”

Nini giggled and ran for cover as Ricky balled up snow in his hands and hurled it at the girl. Snow exploded onto a tree as Nini ducked out of the way and chucked a ball to Ricky, landing a hit on his coat. They ran around like school children, hitting each other with snow. Back and fourth and back and fourth. Ricky almost felt ridiculous, a gleeful smile on his face, squealing when snow balls hurtled toward him when he had dodged bullets before. But just like always, one look at the spider, and he didn’t care about those things anymore.

Being pommeled with snow, clearly losing this battle, Ricky ran towards the girl, picking her up at her midsection and throwing her into the snow. Nini clung onto the boy and dragged him down with her. She was laughing so hard it took a moment for them both to realize how close they were, to realize how his body was pressed on top of her and how his his hands were still wrapped around her. Ricky quickly rolled off of the girl, laying in the snow next to her. Peering up at the sky, the clouds had turned orange and pink, the sun quickly disappearing behind the bare trees. 

He turned to see her already facing him, snow pressing to the side of her face. Snowflakes were sprinkled in her hair and eyelashes, her nose and cheeks a reddish pink. It took so much effort to look away.

“We should head back now,” Ricky spoke, getting up and brushing the snow off of himself. He held out his hand for Nini to take and hauled her out of the fluffy powder.

The sky was turning a dark blue as they walked down an alley back to the apartment building. With his hands in the pocket of his dark coat, he noticed every time their elbows bumped, wishing that instead she would link her arm through his.

In the opening across the alley, small restaurant was alive and alight. A live band played inside, so loud that Ricky could hear them from the dimly lit alleyway. The people inside were cheering on the band, dancing, laughing, drinking. 

“I can’t remember the last time I danced,” Nini said, breaking their easy silence.

“I can. In the eight grade, Red and I crashed the senior prom and we danced until they kicked us out.” Ricky smiled at the memory.

“I’ve never been to a school dance.” 

Ricky halted. Nini had to stop and turn back at the boy. “You’ve never been to a school dance?” He asked, surprised.

Nini frowned. “Nope. Never been asked to one. Didn’t want to go without a date.”

Ricky shook his head, not believing the words coming out of the girl in front of him. “How has no one ever asked you to a dance?”

She laughed. “I don’t know, ask the boys in my class.” She turned and kept walking, not waiting for Ricky to catch up.

An idea popped into his head. “Well then,” he watched her slowly turn back around to look at his extended hand. “Nini, would you like to dance with me?”

She scoffed at the ridiculousness of his offer. To be fair, the alleyway wasn’t the most romantic of places to be asked to dance. The snow on the ground wasn’t white and powdery, but instead slushy and brown. And he was pretty sure he’d seen a rat scurry by. But she slowly approached the boy, a grin sneaking up her face. “But of course.”

Nini put her hand into his. Ricky’s heart melted at just how much smaller her hand was than his, Ricky’s dark glove engulfing her dainty fingers. His hand slid to her waist, her’s resting just below his shoulder near his chest. Their heads fit side by side like perfect puzzle pieces, and they started swaying to the music.

This wasn’t Ricky. Ricky wasn’t the guy who spent a day in town getting hot chocolate, playing in the snow, and asking girls to dance. But he couldn’t help himself. Not when he was around her. Being with her made him want to do normal things. Being with her made him want to care and to feel. 

Holding the girl in his arms, Ricky wondered how he even got to this point. “Why did you agree to come to the Aces?” He quietly asked Nini, still swaying to the music.

“Well,” he felt her breath against his neck as she sighed. “you were gonna blow EJ’s brains out.”

Ricky’s heart dropped. Oh right, he’d forgotten about that. For a moment he’d forgotten that he was the cold and calculated leader of the Aces. Somewhere deep inside of him he knew that he came off as cruel, but he realized how much he didn’t want her seeing him like that.

But Nini didn’t pull away. It was almost as if she could read the disappointment he felt in himself, and she went on. “And I guess I wanted to keep the peace between the two gangs. Last time we had conflict, I lost someone I really cared about. Who really cared about me. I didn’t want that to happen again.”

Ricky leaned his head just a hair closer. “What was his name?” 

She took just a moment to respond. “Bradley,” she replied, her voice so soft he could barely hear it. “His name was Bradley.”

Ricky felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He remembered when the gangs were at war with each other. At the time, Mazzara was still alive, and he’d ordered a drive-by attack when the Spades wouldn’t agree to giving more territory. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“It’s not your fault. It’s just…this life. Shit happens.” She paused a moment. “How come you put so much effort into helping me?”

Ricky couldn’t think of excuses, lies to keep up his facade. He could only admit the thoughts running through his mind. “Because I think you’re smart, and skilled, and incredible.” He pulled away so slightly, his nose brushing past her cheek as he looked down at her melted chocolate eyes. “And I think you’re worth all this effort.”

“You think I’m incredible?” She breathed. Ricky could almost hear her heart hammering in her chest. Hell, his own heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. All that he could offer was a small nod. 

He felt a pull towards her, but no, he couldn’t close the space. She was a Spade. He was the goddamn leader of the Aces. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. This wasn’t how the universe worked. But it was as if their lips were magnets, and a small school child was pulling them apart, a futile effort to separate two pieces that so desperately need to be together. The air between them became a dissolving wall as their faces reached back and forth, daring to get closer and closer and closer—

Until whatever force, whatever will Ricky had to stay away—let go, and his lips were on hers. Nini’s mouth felt warm and soft and sweet, just as he had imagined they would be. She let out a tiny noise when he pressed her closer to him. 

The kiss wasn’t hungry, it wasn’t hard or hot. But it felt forbidden. It felt dangerous and wrong but so, so right all over, everywhere. Every point of contact—his hand on her lower back, and her fingers that had crawled to rest on his jaw—was like a piece clicking into an impossible puzzle. 

And when he finally forced himself away, a cold emptiness pooled in his chest. He felt breathless. Nini panted slightly while her head was still angled up towards the boy. 

No. _No_. He shouldn’t have done that. He should have _not_ just done th—

Ricky shoved down that voice in his head. Shoved down the logic and calculations and every sign telling him to run.

He had just kissed Nini Salazar Roberts. Valued member of the Spades. A spider, a spy. And he was hooked.


	4. inconceivable!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Plz read these notes!
> 
> 1\. I"M SO SORRY this chapter took freakin long to write. i really lost some inspo there, but I'm back with new ideas so I hope you enjoy
> 
> 2\. this chapter is basically pure fluff you're welcome
> 
> 3\. guess who watched West Side Story with their family!? It's me, and I've decided to take this in a more west side story/romeo and juliet direction!!

Ricky and Nini stumbled back into his room, attached at the lips and damp from the melting snow on their clothes. Ricky tugged his long, dark coat off, Nini’s hands coming around to help him. She stumbled as she walked backwards to the bed, still trying to maintain contact with the boy, while also trying to remove her own jacket and kick off her boots.

Nini was pushed down onto the mattress, a squeak of surprise coming from her throat, which caused the boy on top of her to smile against her lips and kiss her even harder. Her hands traveled from his shoulders to rake through his hair, tugging just slightly. Her legs were braced around Ricky’s body, his own stomach pressed against her’s. Nini, lost in the weight and warmth of him, swept her tongue into his mouth, eliciting a growl from him. His hands started to sneak under her shirt, gripping her waist tightly. She could feel the roughness of his fingers and muscles in hands, only gained by a talented marksman.

Ricky’s lips started to travel from her mouth to her jaw then to nip at her ear. Nini moaned and Ricky bit down just a bit harder before migrating to a spot on her neck.

“This,” Nini panted “is an extraordinarily bad ide—“

Ricky planted his lips back on her’s before she could finish the sentence. His hands started roaming up and down her body under the shirt. “Fuck bad ideas.” he said between kisses. “Let’s just keep making out.”

Nini gripped his head to try and actually talk to him, but he just resumed sucking at her neck. “But I’m a Spade, and you’re an Ace. We really shouldn’t be—“

He pulled his head away, his lips curling just slightly. It was _so_ cute, so damn cute—

“I thought you were just ‘Nini’?” Ricky said

Nini could feel herself start to smile. “You’re right,” she quickly agreed before pulling him back down roughly by his shirt.

Clothes. Too many clothes between them. His warmth was too much and she wanted them off, wanted to take them off. Nini started tugging at the shirt she was already clutching. He was just about to help her when a knock sounded at the door—

Ricky absolutely flew off of her, standing up quickly and stumbling away—far away—as far as the wall would let him. Nini herself scrambled to the opposite side of the bed, nearly falling off. She watched as Ricky hastily straightened out his shirt and tell the person to come in.

A head peeked in through the doorway. It was no one that Nini knew, but the boy held a large, bulky case in his hand. 

“What is it, Cal?” Ricky asked, suddenly standing tall and unfazed, no doubt trained to put on this mask of a gang leader

“Sorry to interrupt, sir. But this shipment came in earlier, and—and we tried your office but you weren’t there.”

The boy—Cal—was a nervous wreck. He definitely drew the short straw to be the one to interrupt the Ace leader and the mysterious girl he brought into his room.

“What type of shipment?”

“Guns, sir. Big Red said that you would want to inspect them first before we put them into the armory”

“All right, set them in my office. I’ll be there in a second.”

Cal nodded and rushed out, closing the door quickly but quietly behind him.

Ricky turned his head to the girl on the bed, mouth gaping just slightly. “I gotta—“ He pointed to the door.

“Yep. Yeah that’s fine. You can go.” Nini said just a bit too quickly.

Picking up his shoes from the floor, Ricky went for his office door, flashing one more look of apology before disappearing into the next room.

With his absence, a sudden silence and coldness overwhelmed her. She let out a deep sigh before falling backwards into the sheets and pillows, staring straight up at the ceiling. Nini could still feel his lips on her, his hands. Could still feel the butterflies in her stomach and the buzzing in her head.

Oh boy, what had she gotten herself into?

Nini quickly learned that neither her nor Ricky could seem to get their hands off of each other.

The first ambush was courtesy of Ricky. Nini was heading back to her—his room with an armful of books from the study room. She had wanted to talk with him that morning about…whatever was going on with them. But he left his office before she even woke up, and since then she had not seen him all day. 

Struggling to carry the load, books slipping and sliding in her arms, Nini heard brisk footsteps heading toward her. She craned her head over the volumes to peer down the hall and saw Ricky, clad in his dark gray suit jacket over a tieless black shirt, jogging down towards her. He looked…very handsome.

“Hey, Ricky. I’ve been meaning to talk to you” Nini began before he put a hand on her waist and ushered her a bit further down the hall. She could barely keep up with his pace and said “Where are you taking m—“

Suddenly he had pushed her against the wall, bringing a hand up to her hair before planting his lips on hers. Nini nearly dropped all of her books as her breath hitched and she kissed him back, hard and fiercely, her lips remembering the feel of his, the rhythm of his kisses. He seemed out of breath, just having run from somewhere to ambush her in the hall, but the words she had for him were suddenly forgotten as Ricky bombarded her senses. 

Too soon Ricky started pulling away. Nini’s mouth eagerly trailed after him, wanting more more more, almost tipping herself forward before he braced his hands on her shoulders and reluctantly pried himself away. She could barely look away from his pink and swollen lips, even when he leaned forward to plant one more quick kiss on her forehead. 

“Good talk,” he panted, before turning back and jogging further down the hall, onto his next meeting or assignment or whatever a gang leader needs to do. 

Nini could only bite down a smile as she stumbled her way back to his room.

The second time was more of a joint effort. Nini, bored after a couple hours in his room, heard familiar shuffling in the office next door. After weeks in this place, she knew the sound of Ricky plopping into his chair and shuffling papers on his desk or the clicking of guns and gadgets he was testing out. She twisted the knob slowly, cracking the door open just a bit to peek her head through. Ricky looked up from where he rested his head on his hand, and at the sight of the girl, a mischievous grin bloomed onto his face. He curled his finger at her, motioning for Nini to come in, all the while standing up from his seat and stalking towards her. 

Sooner than Nini could comprehend, her legs were wrapped around his waist as he hoisted her onto his desk, on top of the papers and files. His lips were moving fast on her’s, his tongue pleasantly hot and wet when he slipped it into her mouth. An arm locked around his heck, Nini couldn’t help but giggle when he lowered her down onto the desk, things toppling off and clattering on the floor. 

Kissing Ricky felt like a different kind of drug, she decided. Nothing like that nasty stuff that had been ruining Nini’s life for years and years, but still a kind of high that Nini wanted, needed. When she was kissing Ricky, it felt like fire was coursing through her veins. She felt a thrumming in her chest and butterflies flapping and flapping their wings. When his hands slipped under her shirt, when the warmth of his body was pressed against her, ecstasy poured into her head, thick and sweet like honey. 

Somehow, at the end of the night the pair ended up on the couch by the wall, Nini casually straddled over the boy, playing with a button on his partly open shirt while his fingers lazily stroked the sides of her legs. 

“What is this?” Nini dared to ask, still looking down at her fingers. “Us?”

“It’s whatever you want, spider.” Ricky said, his eyes also not reaching her’s.

Nini scrunched her nose. “Stop calling me that.”

“Well then what _should_ I call you, spider?” He asked, amused.

“My name: Nini.”

Ricky ignored her. “What about…bug?”

“No, Ricky” Nini said sternly.

“Princess? Darling? _Boo Bear?_ ”

Nini’s head snapped up and she punched Ricky on the shoulder, her face contorting into something like annoyance and shock. “ _Ugh!_ ’Boo bear?’ That’s fucking _gross!_ ”

Ricky was laughing just a bit now. “Munchkin? Ducky? Honey bunches of oats?” 

“Stop!” Nini whined, but he kept listing lovey dovey pet names.

“Kitten? Cutie pie? Oh! I got one— _Pooh_ bear. It’s perfect because—“

The girl quickly shut him up by pressing her lips to his. As annoying as this was, Nini was quickly growing to like the teasing. And the idea of him calling her a ridiculous name made her smile in a way she could only hide by kissing him. She leaned her forehead against his when their lips separated. For a second Nini bit the inside of her mouth before whispering, as quiet as she possibly could, “I kinda liked ‘darling’.” 

Ricky smiled. “Yeah?”

She nodded, pulling back, resuming playing with the button. And there she realized something. It speared through her mind like one of her throwing knives, just as quick and sudden, just as painful. _She had never felt like this with Bradley_. No, with Bradley it was stupid teenage love. With Bradley she was naive. A first love to fill the loss of her home, her family. But that’s all it was, all he did, she realized. Fill up an empty space. A space that had since been filled by her family with the Spades. By EJ and Gina and Kourtney and Seb. By that old bread factory she had called her home. 

But Ricky was a new addition. An extra piece to an already complete puzzle. Not replacing. Not filling up a gap. He was something exciting and most definitely dangerous. Running around with him felt reckless, but talking to him—like actually talking to him—felt…real. 

And of course Nini wondered if it was just the fact that he was helping her get over drugs. If she was just a toy for him to fix. But she quickly decided that no, she was not. Ricky was broken in his own ways. She knew it when he shot down that man for the probability of it. She knew it when he told her about his childhood. She knew it when he would stop himself from going too far with her. They were both a little broken—whole—but broken. 

She sighed. “EJ would hate me.” She mumbled. 

“For what?” Ricky asked, genuine concern in his voice. 

“Fraternizing with the enemy.” She shook her head. “I know I said I’m just ‘Nini,’ but I’ll always be a Spade one way or another.” She groaned as she let her head fall forward onto Ricky’s shoulder. “I’m a traitor. I’m awful.” 

“Hey,” Ricky lifted her head off his shoulder. He had a pointed look on his face. “You are not a traitor. You are not awful. You’re a human being, and human beings have feelings. Spade or Ace, you shouldn’t feel bad about having feelings.” 

Nini still let her shoulders sag as she hung her head again. Ricky tipped her head back up, his knuckle under her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Look, I really like you, Nini. And it’s a messy situation, I know. But there’s no pressure—we can be an ‘us’ if you want. Or we can be a ‘whatever’ if you want that instead. You don’t even have to answer me now, but please do not feel bad about this. You’re doing nothing wrong. Okay?”

Nini smiled softly in response. His words didn’t totally heal this wrenching guilt she was feeling, but they definitely put a bandaid over it. She leaned into him, her head tucked right under his chin, and his arms wrapped around her into a tight hug. 

They sat in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, Ricky’s hand rubbing her back before she mumbled against his chest. “I really like you, too.”

He kissed the top of her head.

Well, an “us” it is then.

Big Red landed on his back with a loud _thump_ , Nini triumphantly standing over him with her hands on her hips.

“That’s 4-0: Nini” Ashlyn called out from where she and Carlos were sitting on a bench, watching the two spar. 

“You really suck at this, you know.” Nini held out a hand for him to take and heaved up the redhead, Big Red wincing as he stood.

“I don’t suck at this, you’re just fast and freakishly strong for your size.” He rubbed his lower back, forehead gleaming with sweat, while Nini got back into position, unfazed. 

“All I’m hearing are excuses, Red.” She held her fists up. “Wanna go again?”

He held his hand out. “Do I want to land on my ass again? _No_.” He turned to walk away. “I’m getting water.”

“Baby,” Nini mumbled, picking up her own water bottle. 

“I heard that.” 

Just then the door to the training room swung open, Ricky walking in with a towel over his shoulder, clad in track pants and a tight athletic shirt that emphasized the muscles in his chest. Nini could only stare and remember would it felt like to have her hands all over _that_ before she straightened up and said “Hey! I’ve never seen _you_ in here.”

“Well that’s because I come in the morning before _your_ lazy ass even wakes up.” He grins at the offended look on her face. “But I finally have some free time so…why not get an extra workout in?”

_Like you even need one,_ Nini thought to herself. Ricky looked at his group of friends to find them laughing about something Carlos said before he leaned in to kiss Nini’s forehead. She tried not to, and then failed to not beam up at the boy. 

“Oh Ricky, thank _god_.” They heard Big Red call from across the room. “Please take over for me, I’m exhausted.”

“Take over what?” Ricky asked, puzzled.

“Getting your ass kicked by Nini,” Carlos remarked. Red punched him in the shoulder. 

Ricky scoffed. “Oh, I will not be getting my ass kicked by Nini.” 

“And why’s that?” Nini asked him. 

“Because _I’m_ going to be doing the ass-kicking, thank you very much.” 

“You think you can beat me?”

He leaned down so their noses are inches away and she can feel his breath on her face. “In my sleep.” 

“You’re on, pretty boy.”

The pair quickly got into position on the sparring mat. The now retired Big Red joined Ashlyn and Carlos on the bench. They both circled each other, fists up, not daring to make the first strike. Nini had seen him on the field, but only as a marksman. She had yet to see him in hand to hand combat, and can only guess what type of fighter he was. Eyes panning over his body, Nini made her assessment. 

He was built enough to rely mostly on strength and aggression, but not enough that Nini knew he had some skill and technique. His stance was a little wide, which would hinder his balance if kicked correctly, Nini noted. 

Oh, and judging on how easily he became out of breath when they were making out, Nini figured that if all else fails, she could just tire him out. 

Quiet enough so their audience couldn’t hear, Ricky said, “Ready to dance, darling?”

She blushed at the nickname. And that was Ricky’s undoing.

He threw out three different punches, each one equally as sharp and strong as the last. Nini dodged each one, moving swiftly, looking almost as if she anticipated where and when his fists were going to land. On the final punch, she ducked under, and spun around, simultaneously swinging her leg towards Ricky. Ricky with his fast reflexes, however, dodged her leg, and regained his footing on the opposite side of the mat, a smirk on his face. 

Nini went on the offensive this time, gracefully swinging her limbs and spinning her body as if she were a ballerina, as if sparring was nothing more than a dance. Ricky matched her attacks each time, and vice versa. The boy and girl so equally skilled, that the fighting was going nowhere.   
Ricky punched. Nini blocked.

Nini kicked. Ricky ducked. 

Usually by her seventh move, Nini had Big Red on the ground, but Ricky was still standing, still fighting with her. 

This would have to end at some point, Nini decided, and if she was going to beat him, she needed to play this game with her brain, not her body. She started analyzing the boy again. Swing after swing, studying his movements. She tried to punch him in the stomach. Blocked. Kick his head. Dodged. She went for his left knee. Ricky twisted away, but it was sloppy and slow. _A weak spot,_ she thought to herself. He had trouble watching his left side. 

Nini decided she would do this in three different moves. First, she got defensive, and Ricky started throwing punches. _Perfect_. Second, Nini feigned right. He took the bait, his left arm swinging towards her, but in a split second Nini dove to the left. Third, the spider rolled behind him, sweeping her leg into his left knee. 

His legs buckled, and he fell to the ground. And before he could get back up, Nini twisted his arm behind his back, holding him in place.

“And the winner is: Nini!” Ashlyn called from the bench. 

“I really did try and warn you, Ricky,” Carlos said.

Nini released the boy and Ricky got up on his own, rolling out his strained shoulder. When he turned back to face her, Nini had put on a sweet smile. She held her hand out for him to shake. 

“Nice match,” She said.

“Oh I let you win,” He claimed, gripping her hand tightly. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Nini told the boy before taking just a step closer so she could speak without his friends hearing. “But don’t worry, you still look cute when you underestimate me.”

She expected a snarky remark back from him. Maybe a shot back at her. An insult, possibly. 

But all Ricky did was smile, and lean impossibly closer. “Aw, you think I’m cute?” 

Nini dropped his hand and turned away to get her water bottle, ponytail whipping him in the face.

_Yes. Very._

_—————_

“That’s so stupid,” Ricky said, munching on popcorn. “Why would she throw away her whole life for some pirate with a weird mustache”

“Because Buttercup loves him, and she doesn’t want to be alive if she can’t be with him.” Nini replied, her eyes shiny. 

As part of her “distractions” as Ricky liked to call it, the Ace leader started movie night every Tuesday and Friday. They also had game nights and socializing night (in which Nini forced Ricky to hang out with his very nice friends who he rather avoid to play with his new toys). The first couple movie nights, the evening ended with Nini either curled up on her side with a migraine triggered from the motion picture, or her head over a toilet bowl throwing up the popcorn and candy she had eaten during the movie. But eventually, as her symptoms started to fade, Nini found herself enjoying sitting next to the boy’s side, watching and talking about whatever movie was playing. 

So that Friday night, it was the familiar sight of the boy and girl, side my side on the bed, a laptop in front of them with _The Princess Bride_ playing on the screen. It was finally Nini’s turn to pick a movie, and despite Ricky’s protests, she chose for the pair to watch the classic. She found it quite amusing, actually, that Ricky was so reluctant to agree. He was like the little boy arguing with his grandfather over Buttercup falling in love. At one point Ricky _actually_ complained, _this is a romantic movie. I don’t want to watch it._

Nini had laughed to herself. 

“I think killing yourself over it is _bit_ of an overreaction, wouldn’t you?” Ricky pressed on.

The girl contemplated for a moment. “No, I don’t think so.”

He turned at her and gave her a look of disbelief. “ _C’mon_. Surely there are other things in life worth living for than just love.”

She contemplated for a second. “Well, I guess when your love is so strong, dying seems better than living without it.”

He shook his head and turned back to the movie. “Unbelievable. You know, _this_ is why it’s better to lead with your head over your heart. You end up making stupid decisions like this.” Ricky half mumbled.

Nini suddenly felt her heart catch in her throat. “So, you never want to love?” She asked him quietly. 

“No, I don’t”

“Like ever?”

“Yup.”

“Well that’s a sad way to go about life,” she huffed, bringing in some teasing so her true emotions would cut through her voice.

Nini had to think to herself, _what am I doing?_ Here was this boy who like her. Who _she_ liked back. Who she kissed and touched and laughed with. A boy who she had opened up to even though every instinct in her body told her not to. Because maybe they would be good together. Because maybe she would be happier with him.

And he never planned on loving her?

It’s not like she loved him right now. No, it was too soon, too early for that. But where was this going to go? What was the endgame? They had traded secrets. They had fought and forgiven. She trusted him enough to help her through her addiction, and he had trusted her, a member of the rival gang, to live in the Ace home. To sleep in his bed, to have access to his office.

None of it made sense. Why had he initiated this in the first place? 

She gulped. _Is he playing with my feelings?_ Nini wondered. She turned her head slightly to watch Ricky. Watch his face as he watched this movie he claimed to hate. Her eyes traveled down to the hand that rested on her leg, the thumb stroking a part of her thigh. The same thumb that soothed her migraines and stroked her cheek. 

No, Nini decided. He was not playing with her feelings. But _what_ were his intentions?

When the movie finally came to an end, Nini’s lids felt heavy, her breathing already slow and her body ready for sleep. Ricky seemed to be the same. His eyes gleamed with exhaustion. He rubbed them and started to get up from the bed.

“Wait.” The word came out of Nini’s mouth before she had time to think about it. 

Ricky twisted back to her, tilting his head. Waiting for her to continue. 

“You don’t have to keep sleeping in your office…if you want.” _What are you doing what are you doing._

Surprise covered his face. “Really?”

Nini wondered how she even kept talking. “Yeah. I mean, I feel like we’re kind of past the point where it’s gonna be awkward.” She chuckled to ease the tension. “And a bed is much more comfortable than a couch—I’m guessing.”

He bit the inside of his mouth before nodding slowly. “Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yeah. Ok.”

Ricky started shuffling back under the covers. Surprising him, Nini burrowed into him, under the crook of his arm, nuzzling into his chest. She could literally hear the pounding in his chest, how his breathing hitched as she pressed their bodies together. But as she eased up under his touch, so did he.

Love wasn’t stupid. Love wasn’t irrational, and leading with your head over your heart was not the answer to everything. He wasn’t playing with her feelings, Nini decided. He was just a little bit broken. They both were. And just like he was helping her to heal, so would she.

Nini would show him that love might be worth dying for. 


	5. please view!!

Hey guys!

Sorry to burst your bubble, this isn't a new chapter, but it's still something exciting!!

I've created a Pinterest board for this story! Basically, it shows the aesthetic of this story, as well as the aesthetic of the upcoming chapter (try and guess what the next chapter is about and leave it in the comments!)

Here's the link: <https://www.pinterest.com/ultraviolet289/spider-stone/>

I created this board because I was worried I wasn't building this world in words to what I have in my mind. I know this story is about gangs and stuff, but I had like a whole spy-gang-luxury vision, and I don't know if I was able to portray it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the board, please please check it out, and I will continue to add to it as the story progresses, so feel free to check back on it every once in a while!

The next chapter will come soon, I promise. Also, I hope you guys don't mind, but the next chapter(s) are mostly Nini's POV.

Thank you guys for all of the support.

xo, ultraviolet


	6. pretty little thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> 1\. Sorry this took so long to come out! It actually wasn't because I losing inspo (that's a first) I've just been so busy. However, I thought I'd make it up to you guys by making this chapter a lil longer :))
> 
> 2\. There's a concept in here that I took from the series "Shatter me" by Teherah Mafi. I use like the same wording an everything, so I wanna give credit where it's due. I'm starting to envision Ricky as a similar character to Aaron Warner.
> 
> 3\. I'n my opinion, this is a pretty juicy chapter. Domestic Rini, badass rini, angsty rini, seblos moment, gina x ej moment, new pov's, you name it.
> 
> I hope you like it!!

She absolutely, without a doubt, extremely, immensely, tremendously hated this.

Nini was fine. Just fine, she told him. She was in tip-top shape and ready to go. Feeling healthy and awake and itching to. _Go_.

But no. Ricky wouldn’t budge. And Nini suddenly remembered why she once hated him so freakin much. 

And it’s not like she was lying. Nini truly did feel a lot better. She hadn’t gotten a migraine in over a week. She’s been keeping down her food, the color returning to her face. Her energy levels were up, and she hadn’t gone on a heist in _so_ long. 

Though she appreciated Ricky’s concern—at first, he was becoming a _tad_ over concerned. 

That afternoon, Ricky announced that he and a couple of the guys were going to make a hit later that night. He mentioned something about a vault and cash and one of Gina’s new gadgets that he was going to try, but Nini didn’t really hear any of that. No, she quickly interrupted him to ask if she could go as well.

He said no. _Dickhead._

_Please?_ She begged. Yes, she had actually begged him. Being a spider, a spy, was in her blood, she had argued, and she needed to get out and do _something_. 

But Ricky wouldn’t budge. Not until she was one hundred percent feeling okay, he’d told her while he strapped on a guns and gas grenades to his hip and back and chest. If something went sideways, if somehow her symptoms were triggered, he didn’t want to risk her getting hurt. 

Nini bickered with him even as he made his way out the door, and when he went for a goodbye kiss, she crossed her arms and turned her head away, his lips finding the air. _No heist, no kiss_ , she told him. 

Oh, and “a couple of guys” her ass. Every Ace and their mother was going on this goddamn heist. When Nini ventured into the halls to find something, anything to do, almost every where was vacant. The only people left were the young members, techies, or newbies. No one she really knew. Even freakin Cal wasn’t in his usual spot watching the skaters in the pool. Little Cal, the boy who was literally trembling when he had to knock on the gang leader’s door. Apparently, he was out on the heist shadowing an older member.

So Nini hated this. She hated having to sit in his room, feeling utterly useless, thinking about how everyone was out there while she was trying and failing to read her books. Eyes running over the words just to realize she didn’t register any of it, and having to restart. Over and over and over again. 

She hated that the drugs had made her this way. She hated that despite how talented she _knew_ she was, she still had to sit on the sidelines. Nini felt like some left-out child.

And most of all, she hated how she was worried about Ricky. Here he was, keeping her from this job and she still worried if he was okay, if he was hurt. If the job had gone wrong or if he was caught.

It was around two in the morning when the door to Ricky’s room creaked open. Nini had been dozing off for the past hour, trying to keep awake for when he returned. She sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you,” Ricky said, shutting the door quietly.

“I was already awake,” Nini replied, standing from the bed. “Kinda”

His lips curled into a soft smile as he stalked over to her. “Still mad at me?” He asked, wrapping his hands around her waist. 

“Kinda.” In all honestly, her exhaustion not only dissipated the anger, but it also gave her a little more clarity. He might’ve been a little over bearing, but he only had her best interest at heart. She could forgive that. Easily. 

Still inside his arms, Nini went onto her tippy toes to press her lips to his. His smile grew a little bit bigger. Just then she noticed a little cut high on his right cheek bone, the skin around it slightly purple. Her eyebrows furrowed with concern as she reached up, brushing her fingers over it. He didn’t so much as wince. 

“I’m fine, just glass.” Nini gave him a pointed look. “Next time you can come. I promise. And you can make sure I don’t get cut.” Ricky pulled away so he could de-equip himself.

“I do have some good news for you though,” he spoke even as he unstrapped weapons from his body. “Or at least I think it’s good news.”

“What is it?” Nini asked, plopping back down onto the bed. 

“There’s a street race on Saturday. Midnight. It’ll be exciting. I think you’ll like it.”

A street race did in fact sound like good news to Nini. After weeks cooped up and stuck in the same routine, she would be happy to get out no matter the reason. And street races were very fun themselves. When she went with the Spades, there was always music and drinks. People mingling, and of course the racing. She remembered the thrill of hearing the cars rev their engines. Rooting for the Spades when they went against the Aces—

“Wait. Are we going up against the Spades?” Nini asked. 

“Yeah, is that okay?”

It was okay. It should be okay, right? Nini missed her friends, dearly. They were her family, and she hadn’t seen them in months. But a strange feeling of dread pooled in her stomach. What would they say when they see she made her own friends within the Aces? What would they saythey see her and Ricky?

The boy seemed to sense her thoughts. He walked over and put his hands over her’s. “Nini, remember what I said? That you shouldn’t feel bad about having these feelings?”

She almost scoffed. That this boy so adamant on on never loving telling her to embrace her feelings. But he also lived shamelessly. Confident in all of his decisions. Maybe she should take his advice. So she nodded. “You’re right.” She told him, and mussed up his hair. “I can’t wait.”

And she meant it. 

Nin stared at the items laid out for her on the bed. She bit her nail, other arm wrapped around her front. She was about to reach for one of the items when the door to the room opened.

A head of long red hair peaked in. Nini looked up to find Ashlyn knocking on the door frame. 

“Can I come in?” Ashlyn asked, and Nini nodded. “I just wanted to see if you needed any help getting ready—oh what’s this?”

The redhead came around the bed to stand next to Nini, still staring. Ashlyn whistled. “Damn, some taste you have, Nini.”

On the bed clothes had been laid out for Nini. _Clothes._ And not just any clothes. A dark red, cropped corset top, along with a long, black wool coat with thin red accents. Just below those rested black skinny jeans, and on the floor were slick, black, red bottom heels. 

Red and Black. Ace colors. 

“Not me,” Nini breathed. “Ricky.”

Nini didn’t believe it either. When she walked in from her shower and found the outfit laid out, she just assumed it was Ashlyn who chose it for her, or maybe even Carlos. She didn’t even know who would have these types of clothes laying around. But then she found a small note atop the clothing. 

_For tonight_

  * _Ricky_



Well, goddamn. The Ace leader had a soft spot for fashion.

It shouldn’t have surprised her. Whenever she ran into him between his meetings and what not, he always looked handsome. His clothes were put together, sharp. Coordinated. Perfectly fitted.

But this. _This._ Nini had never worn anything like what he’d picked out. She always dressed for practicality, efficiency. Usually dressing in dark colors to slip through the shadows. Tight clothes so nothing got in her way. Lot’s of pockets. Boots chosen for their gripping-ability, and not for fashion. Everything subtle, so she wouldn’t look suspicious, so she wouldn’t stand out. So she could be a spy, a spider.

But this outfit was anything but subtle. And she would most definitely stand out. 

And Nini had a feeling Ricky wanted it to be that way. 

“Are you going to wear it?” Ashlyn asked after the wave of shock was finally absorbed. 

“I guess..?” Nini still bit on her nail. “I just don’t know if I can…wear it. Like _really_ wear it.”

Ashlyn looked the girl up and down before putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Of course you can. You’re Nini Salazar-Roberts. You can knock my boyfriend on his ass in two seconds and get _your_ boyfriend on his knees.” Nini’s eyes widened at the realization that Ashlyn (and probably everyone else) knew about her and Ricky. “You can _climb_ _walls_. You’re a fucking badass.” Ashlyn glanced back at the outfit. “And you’re gonna look smoking hot in that.”

Nini placed her hand on her hips, tilting her head and analyzing the outfit once more. 

_Yes. Yes I will._

Nini stood in front of the body length mirror in the corner of the room. Ashlyn had helped with her hair and makeup. Nothing compared to what Kourtney could do, but still nice. Her hair was slicked back and straight, slightly curling in at the ends. Her makeup was fairly simple, too, except for a dark red lip that matched her top. 

But Nini wasn’t looking at the hair and makeup right now. No, she was running her hands along the curves of her own body. The way the corset top fit so perfectly around her figure, how the jeans and heels made her legs look long and her hips curvy. The skin between her waistline and the end of the top felt oddly cold, and so did the skin showing on her neckline, for Nini never really wore clothes that showed too much skin. And even though the wool coat was rather large and long, it didn’t overpower the rest of the outfit. 

Ashlyn was right. Nini looked hot. She _felt_ hot. 

Her eyes darted up at a movement at the upper right of the mirror, reflecting Ricky’s office door.And out the boy came dressed in his own fine clothes. A deep, dark red blazer over a black turtle neck matched with sleek black dress pants and shiny black shoes. His curls were perfectly set, slightly golden at the ends.

Nini almost laughed. _We’re matching. He_ matched _us._

She spun around slowly, showing off the outfit that he’d picked for her. When she looked up from her own body, she found Ricky’s mouth hanging open, slightly curling at the ends like he couldn’t hold back his excitement. 

“Well,” Nini began, putting her hands on her hips. “How do I look?”

He shook his head slowly, stalking towards her. “You look…I mean—wow, Nini. You—you’re gorgeous.”

Nini giggled and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “I know, right?” 

Her words elicited a laugh from the boy, finally shaking him from the awe. “Who knew that the leader of the Aces loved fashion so much?” She joked. 

He placed his hands on her waist, feeling the top that he so carefully picked. “Well, of course. Clothing is another tool. A weapon. If you’re going to be part of a badass gang, you better look the part. And you, darlin’, definitely look the part.”

Nini adjusted his blazer, tugging him forward just slightly. “I love it,” she told him, referring back to her outfit. 

“I’m glad.” Ricky leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “We better get going. Don’t want to be late.”

Nini nodded, and he led her out. 

It was no secret that the Spades were known to be a little…wealthier than the Aces. (Now that she was a part of her previously rival gang, however, she knew that it was because Ricky sent a lot of the money to charity). With all of this money, the Spades were able to afford a lot of luxuries. Weapons, computers, gadgets. But one luxury Nini was especially fond of was the cars. She _loved_ pulling up to a street race in the nicest car the Spades could afford. The smooth thrumming of the engine, the shiny, reflective surface that transformed them into a streak of light when they went fast enough. 

So as Ricky led her to the garage, Nini was lowering her expectations. She knew that it may not be as nice, that they couldn’t afford it. And she was fine about it. Because she knew where the money was going. 

But boy, was Nini wrong. 

Stepping into the garage, Nini laid eyes on an array of luxurious sports cars. Different brands and colors and shapes of cars lined the walls. And dozens of Ace members were piling into their respective cars, zooming out into the night. 

Ricky placed a hand on her lower back, almost sensing her underestimation. “A little secret: we didn’t exactly pay for a lot of these.”

Nini grinned and Ricky said, “Your pick.”

After looking through the cars, Nini settled on the cherry red Lamborghini that was in the center of the garage. Why not keep with the theme, she had told Ricky. 

Nini climbed into the passenger side of the car. She admired the luxurious interior. The low leather seats were a matching shade of red, and so were the red accent lights that lined the surfaces. 

Ricky maneuvered out of the spot and drove out into the night, their hands interlocking atop of Nini leg. The boy turned to her, flashing a devilish grin, and revved the engine before stepping hard on the gas, launching the car forward. Nini nearly had the wind knocked out of her, her stomach lurching as he weaved through traffic. Unknowingly, a smile crept up her face.

Even though she was stuck with the Aces, there was this saying feeling of freedom sweeping through her body. For months she had felt sick and sired. But zipping through the highway, wind whipping across her face—with a boy she really liked. Nini felt _good_. 

Ricky exited and made his way through some back roads, arriving to something that looked like a huge crater in the earth, under the freeway. And in this old, cleared out industrial area, Nini saw the dozen cars grouped up at one side, people gathered all around. 

Ricky pulled up to the group, carelessly stopping in a spot in front of all the other cars, his swagger translating into the vehicle. Nini could hear music through the car doors. Booming music vibrated to her very seat. 

The boy exited the car, but Nini stayed seated. 

They had a little conversion about this, but the spider understood very clearly what role she would have to play in front of the Spades and Aces. 

As Ricky sauntered around the car, people, Spades and Aces alike, studied the infamous gang leader who just made a rather conspicuous appearance with his bright red car and screeching tires. The door clicked open, revealing the boy holding out his hand. Nini looked up at him through her lashes before taking it, and standing up out of the car.

When first putting on the heels, Nini was nervous having never worn such tall shoes before. Butwith her perfectly trained body and impeccable balance, the spy quickly adapted. And the world was her catwalk. 

Nini staggered behind Ricky, clinging onto his hand as they strolled towards the other Aces. 

She was fully aware of what she looked like as everyone stared at the couple. Just a pretty little thing on the arm of Ricky Bowen. Nothing more than an accessory. A decoration. 

But she didn’t mind. Not one bit. Because in this pretty little thing’s mind were all of the secrets of the Aces’s precious leader. She knew how to make him sweat. How to bring him down to his knees. She knew the sensitive spot of his neck, and the one behind his ear. She’s seen his hair mussed up and his lips pink and swollen, unlike him perfectly put together in a blazer and dressy pants like he was now. She’s seen him pout and throw a tantrum like a child when she wouldn’t give him another kiss. 

So Nini didn’t care all that she accessorized Ricky Bowen. Because in her face, in her strutting steps, everyone would know: that this pretty little thing knew every secret about their gang leader, and she would never tell a soul. 

The pair finally caught up to the group of Aces, Ricky shaking hands and patting backs with people as they weaved through the small crowd. Nini just offered her peers sweet smiles, and let the boy do the talking. She also looked around to see if she could find any familiar faces. Her eyes landed upon Big Red and Ashlyn sitting atop of their car. They waved enthusiastically at her, and Nini laughed and waved back. 

Then her eyes traveled past the scattered parked cars to where the Spades were lingering, playing their own loud music, drinking their own drinks. Her head craned, eyes scanning for her friends. If she could just get a glimpse of them—

“You can go over, you know.” Ricky said into her ear.

She turned to him, a little surprised. “You don’t need my permission, Nini.”

Nini beamed up at him and kissed him on the cheek before unlocking their hands, and racing towards the Spades. _Her_ gang.

Getting closer, Nini spotted painfully familiar golden curls, bobbing up and down to the music. 

“Kourtney!” She called out.

Her long time friend whipped her head around, taking just a small moment to recognize the voice, her face. And her own face lit up. “Nini!” 

Nini jogged forward as fast as she could in the shoes, and embraced Kourtney tightly. “I can’t believe it!” Kourtney exclaimed. “We’ve been worried sick!” She pushed Nini away by the shoulders to get a good look. “Is everything okay? How have you been?”

“I’ve been fine,” Nini spoke, not wanting to reveal much about her stay with the Aces yet, but rather focus on this reunion. 

Good thing Kourtney was already distracted with signaling over Gina and Seb. “Guys! Guess who it is!” She frantically pointed at her.

Nini turned to face where Kourtney was shouting to, and there they were. Excitement filling their faces before running over to tackle Nini in a group bear hug. 

“Oh my god, Neens!” Gina nearly shouted even though her mouth was close her Nini’s ear. Oh, how she missed that nickname, how she missed her friend’s voices. 

They soon untangled their arms from around her. “We’ve been so worried.” Gina spoke on behalf of the group. “We didn’t know where they were keeping you, or if they would ever let you go—”

“Well I’m not free to go just yet,” Nini chuckled at her friends’ protectiveness. “Just here for the race.” 

“You know what,” Kourtney started rolling up her sleeves. “I’m gonna go over there right now and demand that son of a bitch to let you come home because this is—”

Nini took a step in front of her friend, amused at the thought if Kourtney butting heads with Ricky. “No, really. It’s okay. I’m _fine_.”

Seb brushed his hands over her coat. “Well, honey, you _look_ fine. I’ve never seen you dress this way a day in my life.”

Nini giggled, giving her friends a spin as they complimented her. 

“Yeah, Nini,” Gina chimed in. “You look gorgeous. When did you get a sense of style?”

“I didn’t. This is all Ricky.” The words spilled out. “But no one would ever top you, Kourtney, don’t worry.” Nini quickly added in.

“He’s dressing you up?” Gina asked. “Like a doll? That motherfuc—”

“No Gina, it’s not like that—“

“Nini?” 

Her head snapped at that voice. To the raven haired boy standing not ten feet away from where she stood. He wore a navy blazer, a dark shirt underneath (blue and black: Spade colors). And his face—EJ looked as if he saw a ghost. His arms hung useless at his sides as he looked her up and down, to check if she was okay or hurt or even real. 

His mouth opened and closed, searching for something to say. Gawking until he decided on, “You should put on a real shirt, Nini.” 

Half a laugh and half a sob escaped from Nini’s throat as she ran towards EJ, her first real family, her brother that wasn’t. She jumped up into his arms, and EJ returned her with a tight embrace. So tight she couldn’t breathe. But she didn’t care. She missed the smell of him—like leather and rain. It was home, and she didn’t realize she had missed it _this much._

EJ finally put her down, but his hands remained on her face, turning her head this way and that, like he was inspecting her. “Are you okay?” He asked, a question she has been hearing over and over again. 

And he kept questioning. _Are you safe in there? Have you been eating? Sleeping well?_ “When they took you I remembered that you didn’t have your wrist braces,” He gripped onto her forearms, moving her hand around as if he was a doctor. “Do they feel okay? I think I have them in my car. I was going to try and find you—“

“EJ, _EJ,_ ” She tried to center the boy, getting his attention to focus on her, just her. “I’m okay. Everything is okay.”

He let out a shaky breath. “I’ve just missed you so much, Nini.”

His eyes were lined with silver. She could feel that her own were the same. “I’ve missed you, too, EJ.” 

Squeezing her hand a little tighter, EJ said, “I’m so sorry I let him take you. I’ve regretted it _every_ day since that night. I failed you. I’m so _so_ sorry—“

“Hey, it’s not your fault.” Nini said. “You couldn’t have prevented this.”

“ _Yes_ I could have.”

“No EJ. Not with a gun to your head.” She spoke sternly. And finally he forced himself to nod.

“Oh, wait,” EJ reached into his jacket pocked. “I should give this to you.”

When his hand emerged, a small packet with white power settled between two of his fingers. 

Nini paled at the sight of it. She had to take a small step away. “EJ, no I can’t take that.” She instinctively took a glance towards Ricky, her anchor through her whole journey. But he was by the Aces, and couldn’t help her now. 

EJ took notice. “Bowen doesn’t have to know. I know what withdrawal can do to you, Nini.” He nudged his fingers forward but she held his hand down, needed a physical barrier from the drugs.

“No, EJ. I-I quit. I’ve been going through withdrawal…but I’m sober. I’ve been sober for that past four months.” She spoke with hope in her voice. 

If it was even possible, his eyebrows creased even more with concern. “Withdrawal? Oh god, are you feeling okay?”

“Yes EJ”

“That must have been like _hell_.” He ran a hand down his chin. “What about jobs? Did Bowen make you go on jobs while you were sick? I’m going to kill hi—”

“No,” _He’s actually been kind and encouraging. He’s been holding me and helping me, and if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be able to do it._

But she couldn’t say those things. Not when the words pounded through her head. _Traitor traitor traitor_. With EJ standing before her in the flesh, Ricky’s reminders were forgotten. 

She couldn’t say those things, because it would be like kicking a guy who was already down. She saw the look on EJ’s face. The uselessness he’s been feeling. Sitting idle while she’d been stolen by his enemies. And to tell him that his arch nemesis was the one to help her—to tell him that his rival was the one who had also stolen her heart—she couldn’t do it. 

So Nini would feed the anger—direct it towards Ricky and not herself—rather than deflate him completely. But that didn’t stop her eyes from focusing on anything but his face when she said it. “No, they think I’m too sick to be going on jobs. They’ve been keeping me inside. Safe—just cooped up inside.” 

“They’ve been keeping you locked up?” EJ lowered his voice. “Nini, what are they doing to you in there? _What is he doing to you?_ ”

Nini almost choked. _What was Ricky doing?_ The image of his hands running over her body flashed in her mind. The feelings of his lips on her’s. She felt blood rush to her face. “Nothing! I swear.” Nini might have been a spy, but she was never good at lying to EJ. She still couldn’t meet his eye. “Nothing bad.” She finally looked to his face.

The boy gave her a pointed look. She sighed. “EJ, can we just drop this, please? _I’m fine_.”

His jaw clenched. But he reluctantly nodded. “I just…I really want you to come home.” He said softly. “I wish you could come home.” 

“Me too.” Nini responded automatically. But there was this odd feeling in her chest. Like the words were just words and they didn’t mean anything. Yes, she missed home—the Spade home—but in these past four months…was it possible she was finding a new one?

“Look, EJ—“

“Attention Spades and Aces!” A random gang member shouted through a megaphone. “Get your racers ready. We start in five minutes!” 

Nini let go of EJ’s hands. “I should go. Ricky’ll want me to be over there.” 

“Just be safe, Neens.” 

“I will.” 

And so she turned away from EJ. Her friends. Her gang. And started walking back over to the Aces. To Ricky. 

_Traitor. Traitor. Traitor._

“Ok, so here’s how this is gonna go,” Shouted the the gang member, who turned out to be an Ace. “Best two out of three. Ten grand from the opposing gang.” There was light chatter that slightly overshadowed his voice. “No cut-offs. No bumping. And _no aerial objects launched towards the opposing car_. Remember that one folks. We all remember last year.” 

Nini reached Ricky’s side, poking him lightly on his arm to distract him from the conversation he was having. He faced her. “How did it go?” He asked, attention zeroing in on her.

“Fine.” Nini said, giving a tight lipped smile. He narrowed his eyes at her. “It was good. It went…it was good.” She tried to make her voice just a little more convincing. But he saw right through her and gave her a look that seemed to say: _We’ll talk about this later._

“When do you go?” Nini asked him, quickly switching the subject. 

“Gang leaders are the final round.” Ricky said, just as Nini watched two girls get into their respective cars at the start line. In no time, they took off, zooming ahead on the gravel

“So you’re going up against EJ?” 

“Yep.”

Nini let out a laugh. “Good luck with that.”

Ricky put a hand to his heart like he was offended. “Excuse me? You don’t think I’m going to win? I thought you were the supportive type of girlfriend.”

She felt heat rise to her cheeks at the label, but she fired back. “First of all, the Spades are the fastest racers in the city. And secondly, EJ’s kind of extra pissed at you seeing that you’ve stolen his prized possession” Nini motioned to herself. “So you’ll have his wrath to deal with.”

“Well it’s clear where your allegiances lie,” Ricky mumbled.

“Like we’ve said, I’m just Nini, and I can do whatever the fuck I want with my allegiances.” 

Ricky only smiled at how serious she was getting into the playful argument. He simply put a hand on her waist and tugged her forward slightly, pressing a kiss to her temple, all while Nini still ranted on. 

Soon the twin cars slipped past the finish line, the Ace girl winning by just a hair. 

“Who’s going next?” Nini asked. But her question was soon answered.

Carlos emerged, walking—no, strutting _—_ to his car. He dawned a puffy red jacket, the color seeming to bleed into the pristine, shiny white of the vehicle as he took his seat. On the other side, Seb got into his own car—a light, grayish blue. He wore a simple black cargo jacket, but looked stylish nonetheless. 

She was close enough to hear their exchange. 

“Ready to lose, Ace garbage?” Seb fired. 

Carlos simply pretended to flick his hair back, taking just one look at the blonde before staring at the imaginary track ahead. “What a shame that a cute thing like you belongs to a gang of idiots.” 

Seb rolled his eyes and looked away. But Nini could have sworn that he blushed. 

Ashlyn walked over to stand between the cars, a red handkerchief in hand. “Ready gentlemen?” She asked.

They nodded. And in a moment the handkerchief was raised towards the sky, and sliced straight towards the ground. 

The cars raced ahead, so fast that it took a moment to register just where they had gone off to. Carlos took the first lead, his flashy smile visible through the car window. But after dozens of street races with the Spades, Nini knew Seb liked to play his little games. Behind EJ, he was the best racer within the ranks. The blue car manouvered into Carlos’s blind spot. Nini could tell the Ace was trying to see where he disappeared. And soon enough, Seb sped up, swerving around the white car and taking the lead. In a matter of seconds, the two cars flew past the finish line. Spades taking the win. 

Nini turned to Ricky and gave him a look that seemed to say _I told you so_. He simply rolled his eyes and straightened out his jacket before walking down to his cherry red car. Nini followed.

At the other side of the track, EJ was staring down Ricky, his jaw clenched, fire blazing in his eyes. Nini gulped, nervous for the Ace, but when she looked at Ricky, he was just smirking, unfazed by EJ and her warnings. 

EJ climbed into his obsidian black car, cracking his neck as he sat. The windows of both cars were rolled down. 

“Long time no see, Bowen.” EJ said, just staring forward at the track. 

“Likewise, Caswell.” 

This time it was Gina who made her way to stand in between the cars. He dawned a white fur jacket over a shiny silver crop top despite the winter. At her waist, a tight leather skirt over fishnet sticking and boots. 

Nini swore that EJ was drooling just slightly. 

“Boys, are we ready?” She purred. The two gang leaders seemed to grimace that the term. 

“Just one moment, actually,” Ricky said. He turned toward the open window, fingers curling for Nini. “Darling? Over here, please.” 

EJ snapped his head over at the nickname. Nini’s cheeks bloomed with red, but she needed to hold up her act in front of all these Aces. She cooly walked over and put a hand on the window ledge. “Yes, Ricky?” Not letting her voice waver.

He tilted his head up slightly, cheek exposed and facing the girl. “Good luck kiss?” He asked oh so casually. 

Nini couldn’t help it as her eyes flitted to look at EJ’s. She could see the unchecked rage there, almost hear the roaring anger. So she hesitated. And Ricky seemed to notice. 

He leaned in to whisper softly in her ear. “Don’t be ashamed, Nini. This is what you want. So take it.”

And it took her just a few seconds. A few seconds to realize once again that he was right. To realize she had been a coward before, keeping secrets and lying to EJ’s face. His pride was not her responsibility. Nini belonged to nothing and no one. So she stared into Ricky’s honey brown eyes. The eyes of someone who lived so unapologetically, so himself. 

She liked him. She wanted him. And she would not be sorry for it. 

So Nini took Ricky’s chin in her fingers, turned his face to her, and planted hard kiss to his lips. 

When she pulled away, there was a subtle awe in his expression. His cheek twitched, like he was desperately trying to hold back a smile. 

“Good luck,” Nini said as she dropped his chin, turned her back to the car, and walked over to where Big Red, Ashlyn, and Carlos were standing. 

“The balls on you, girl,” Carlos muttered to her. She bit back a shining, ear to ear grin. 

And she tried to keep her chin up even as she saw the shocked expressions of her friends. Even when she saw a look of surprise and near disappointment on Gina’s face that she’d never seen before. 

Luckily, Ricky broke some of the tension. Just some. “Okay. I’m all set now.” He said to Gina.

The girl shook her head just slightly as she brought her dark blue handkerchief to the sky, and in an instant, swiftly brought her arm down. 

The cars took off in the blink of an eye. Nini tried to figure out who was in the lead, but the two cars were so evenly matched, barely a hair ahead of the other. 

But suddenly a scraping, crashing sound came from the racing cars. And again. And again. Nini got a better look at the cars that were now across the plateau, and saw EJ ramming into the side of Ricky’s car. 

“Wait, I thought there was no bumping?” Nini asked no one. 

“They’re the bosses. They don’t need to follow the rules.” Red answered. 

_Oh god_. Nini thought. She knew EJ’s temperaments. As his unofficial second in command, she’d seen him have to deal with the worst. Botched jobs. Stupid people. The Aces (though EJ would argue that the latter two were the same thing). And she had just gotten him the most riled up she’s seen him be in a long time. _Yep_. Nini thought, cursing under her breath. _EJ’s gonna try and kill him_. 

She saw Ricky struggle to gain control of his car, swerving around just slightly until he accelerated, finally getting out of range of EJ and taking the lead. 

But in a flash, the black car cut him off, forcing Ricky to slow. EJ’s car bolted ahead as the Ace tried to regain his footing. 

They were mere seconds away from the finish line, EJ basically slated to win, when she heard a _pop_ come from his engine. Something sputtered, and he was slowing down. Nini could see into the car, the raven haired boy scrambling for something to do. 

But before he could do anything, a streak of red flew past him—and the finish line. And the Aces won. 

Cheers went up around her, her own group she was standing with jumping up and down, fist pumping in the air. 

People swarmed Ricky as he got out of the car, clapping him on the back, praising him. Nini simply stood back, letting him have his little moment. In the meantime, she looked over to the Spades. EJ slammed his car door shut, the sound reverberating though Nini’s chest despite the commotion. She saw Gina try to console him, but EJ waved her off, walking off to cool down. 

Without thinking, Nini’s feet started moving for her brother who wasn’t. Like some kind of innate instinct to go and comfort him. But suddenly she felt an arm around her, pulling her forward, lips finding her’s. When she opened her eyes she found Ricky’s familiar ones staring back at her, victory in his eyes. She found a handsome face that made her forget about everything. 

“I think there’s an apology thats due” He said a matter of factly.

“Really? I don’t think so” She said, feigning cluelessness.

He response was a lazy smile and he tugged her by the hand. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Right. Home.

—————

The moonlight cast itself upon Nini, making her skin glow as if she was an angel sent to him from a God he didn’t even believe in. An angel who was sleeping soundly in his bed, laying next to him.

She looked so calm, sleeping so quietly someone might think she was dead. But Ricky was looking closely enough to see her chest rise and fall so slightly. Sometimes he would do it just to make sure. To make sure this gift—no, more like stolen treasure—wouldn’t be ripped away from him. 

What did he do to deserve this? Ricky would often ask himself. And then he would remember that, in fact, he didn’t deserve her. He had traded her like valued goods. He had taken her away from her gang, her family. He’d made her go on a drug job even though she was an addict (even though he didn’t know at the time, he still felt responsibility). 

And yet she’d stayed with him. Even when he gave her free reign to come and go as she pleased. Even when she’d reunited with the Spades and had every chance to get in one of their cars and race away, far away from him, Nini stayed. 

He didn’t deserve that loyalty. He didn’t deserve to show her off and kiss her and fall asleep with her. 

But something was holding him back from just letting her go. That cursed feeling in his heart. The same feeling that drove him to run away from the children’s home. That same feeling that made him stick with his asshole dad. That made him hope everyday his mom would come back.

Ricky shoved down that fluttering feeling in his chest as he gazed upon Nini. 

_No_. It was not love. It couldn’t be love. Wouldn’t be. Ricky locked away that feeling and threw the key into the ocean. 

Maybe he was just selfish. Maybe he was the same, calculated, cold, selfish Ricky he had always been. Keeping her would be beneficial to the Aces. Giving her back would just show weakness to the Spades. It would be the smart choice to keep her here, if she wanted to or not. 

But there was a battle going on in his head. A war that raged on as Nini, in her sleep, shifted closer to him so her breath was on his face. A lock of her hair fell in front of her closed eyes. 

And the battle raged and raged on.

He’d seen how happy she was to see her family. Ricky didn’t miss that longing look that was on her face for practically the whole night. He hadn’t missed the way she jumped into EJ’s arms. 

That locked-in-a-box feeling fought with him. _Let her go. Let her go home_. It seemed to say.

But he tucked that lock of hair behind her ear. And he could have sworn that a dreamy smile graced her lips.

Maybe he would be selfish for just a little while longer.

—————

The chair crashed into the wall on the other side of the room. At its origin stood a fuming EJ Caswell, hands on his hips, trembling with anger. 

“EJ, let’s just try and take a few breaths and calm down—“ Gina tried to coax him. 

“ _Calm down?_ ” He raged. “Were we not at the same street race? Did we not see the same things?”

“Maybe it’s not what it looks like,” Kourtney suggested.

“It _looks like_ Bowen his keeping her like a fucking hostage.” His voice was raised. 

“We don’t know that—“

“Did you even see Nini? When I asked her what he was doing to her _she couldn’t look me in the fucking eye_. And—and then when he wanted that fucking ‘good luck kiss’ she didn’t want to do it, I saw it in her eyes, she didn’t want to do it.” EJ’s eyes were wide with rage. “And then that son of a bitch whispered something and he _made_ her do it. I don’t know how, I don’t know what he said, but it’s like—it’s like they’ve _brainwashed_ her—“

“EJ, we don’t know that—“

“ _Well I know it_.” EJ yelled. “And I know Nini. And I know when she’s lying and I know when she’s scared. She’s my—“ He took a trembling breath. “She’s our Nini. I know something is wrong.” EJ turned around, putting fingers to his temple.

In his peripheral vision, Gina stood up from where she sat, still dressed in her fur coat and tight clothes. He slowly faced her, ready for her patronizing, calming words. 

But instead she nodded her head. “I know you love Nini. I love Nini—we all love her. And I also know that you know her better than any of us here so…tell us what we have to do—” she looked around the room to her friends and a few extra Spade members that were sitting in the room. “—and we’ll do it.”

EJ rubbed his chin. He tunneled down his anger into calculation. “We’re going to bring Nini home, and then we’re going to destroy the Aces—destroy Bowen.” He looked around at all of the faces staring back at him. All of the people he was responsible for, all of the people he had to lead and keep safe. “For Nini.”

“For Nini” they echoed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> teaaaaaaaa....... ;)


	7. the beauty in anything, everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> TW!!!! This chapter deals heavily with suicide, so if that's a sensitive topic for you, please proceed with caution!
> 
> Anyway, I whipped up this chapter really quick. It's a super short one, but it's pretty jam packed and I think you guys will like it.
> 
> Also-- make sure to keep check checking up on this ( https://www.pinterest.com/ultraviolet289/spider-stone/ ) pinterest board. I update it for every chapter!!
> 
> Side note, I didn't super edit this chapter so if there are typos (which i'm realizing I make a lot of) I'm sorry!
> 
> ENJOY!

It was almost four in the morning when Nini burst into Ricky’s office and threw a sweatshirt at his face. 

All night, Ricky had been working out how and where to distribute the Ace’s ten grand of winnings. In the past week since the race, the gang leader was too wrapped up in other business for him to sort this out, so he figured the dead of a Wednesday night, now Thursday morning, was as good as any time to deal with this. _Hmm,_ Some for food, some for the electric bill. Maybe he’d put some to renovating that library that Nini loved so much. But of course, the majority went to that damn children’s home that he just couldn’t let go of.

Eyes heavy, Ricky looked at the clock on the wall across from his desk. _3:47_ it read. He scrubbed his face, sinking back into his chair. He should probably get at least an hour or two of sleep, he figured. And the bed with the sleeping girl in the next room over was calling for him to join. But his brain didn’t want to rest just yet. Not until he had everything sorted out. 

And that’s when the door swung open wide, creaking loudly, revealing a very much awake Nini with a gray sweatshirt of his that had gone aerial and straight towards his head.

“Let’s go,” was all she said, wrapped in her very own sweater, before she headed out without looking back to see if he would follow.

She didn’t need to, of course. Ricky was pretty sure he would follow her to anywhere in the world. 

They stepped out onto the street, one after the other. It was cool out, but the winter was thawing and he could see a whisper of spring passing through. Nonetheless, he wrapped an arm around Nini, and followed her lead. 

_Where, exactly, are we going?_ He’d asked multiple times. And multiple times, Nini would simply ignore him and point out that restaurant she wanted to try or cute shoes in the display window. But when she faced him, she had that same mischievous gleam in her eyes as to say, _it’s a surprise. And you’re going to love it_. 

Eventually they approached a tall, bare parking garage. Nini tugged at his hand, getting him to follow her into the towering building and up the stairs, claiming that the elevator was out of service. _How do you know?_ He had asked her. 

_It always is,_ she had replied, racing up the steps. 

Ricky tried to keep up with her the best he could, but it was like there was lighting in her veins, propelling her up, up up. He wondered why she wanted to get up so badly. Wondered why she brought him here at all. 

And then they got to the top and she jogged towards the edge of the building, pushing herself up on the concrete ledge and swinging her legs over. Ricky simply loitered by the stairs. 

She turned to face him. “C’mon! You need to see it from here!”

“No—no, that’s okay. Here’s fine,” he stuttered. 

Nini tilted her head, examining the boy. Then that stupid grin appeared on her face. “Is Ricky Bowen, Ace leader, playboy and criminal mastermind, afraid of heights?” She teased. 

“Pshh, no,” he rolled his eyes, “I am not afraid of heights—“

She cocked her eyebrow at him.

“But, you know, you’re the one who does all of the climbing. I just meet you on the inside. Where, you know, you can’t fall to death.”

Nini laughed. “I can’t believe this. You’re such a baby.”

“Hey! I am not a baby, okay. I’m just being smart. And if you were smart you would get off from there—”

“Baby.”

He glared at her. But she only waved her arm, motioning for him to come closer. Of course he wasn’t scared of heights. _Falling_ was a whole different story—

“Ricky! C’mon. For me?” She gave him puppy dog eyes. 

He sighed, giving up and walking towards the edge. “I hate when you do that.” 

Nini pat the spot on the concrete next to her as he approached. Looking down, the sidewalk was so far down. A chill went down his spine. But he trudged on, pushed himself up, swung his legs over, and settled down next to the girl. 

When he finally looked up from his climbing and worrying and pouting, he finally understood why she was so eager. 

They could see the entire city from here. The lights from the cars and buildings were twinkling white and orange and red and green and blue. It looked like a sea of stars, but—but alive. And above, the sky was a diluted reflection of that, scattered, slightly dimmer, real stars dotting the sky. And on the horizon, the dark gray of the night sky was turning into a regal shade of navy blue. 

“Wow,” was all he said, all he could say. 

“I know right,” she nearly giggled. An _I told you so_ bubbling just under the surface of her voice. Nini shifted closer to him, fitting comfortably into his side as he once again wrapped and arm around her, the subtle breeze sending a chill through the air. 

They sat in silence for just a moment before curiosity got the better of him. “Darling, why did you bring me here?”

He heard her take a deep breath, like she was contemplating just where she should start before finally telling her story. 

“I was sixteen—almost seventeen—when my moms kicked me out.”

Ricky sucked in a breath, a little startled from the weight of her words, But he stayed silent, and she kept going on.

“When I was growing up, they loved me so much. We were like three peas in a pod, me and my moms—well, four, if you count my Lola. They gave me the world, and more.” She sighed. “Sometimes I look back now and I can’t believe just how much love they gave me.”

“What happened?”

She sat up from her position in his arms, staring ahead at the view. “I grew up,” she huffed. “And somewhere along the line I made the wrong friends, did the wrong things. And they tried so hard to keep giving me love, but one day they just…ran out. So they kicked me out. 

“I was sixteen. It was the dead of winter, and I had no money. My Lola passed away the year before, so I couldn’t fall back on her. No real friends to go to, either. So I was on my own, on the streets, a druggie, and sixteen.”

He stared at her as the words kept coming from her mouth. He didn’t know what elicited this storytelling, but Ricky wasn’t complaining. He studied how she told her story like she’d been keeping it locked up in her head for so long, and she was finally setting it free. How the words seemed to leave her mouth and dissolve into the breeze.

“I slept wherever I deemed safest, pickpocketed my way through life. And then I had to decide whether I wanted to eat or get high. I mean, I was a _teenage_ girl. I had to deal with some pretty…shitty guys on the streets.”

Her words left Ricky feeling ice cold. He’d known how strong she was. He didn’t need proof or an origin story to know. Just one look at the spider and he knew she wouldn’t break easy. But _this…_

“So one night, I can’t even remember when, I was walking down that block,” Nini pointed to a street down below. “And it was freezing. I was just coming down from a high. Three guys had just tried to…” her sentence fell short. “Some lady yelled at me for sitting on the bench outside her apartment building. And I had no place to go.” Ricky could have sworn he heard her voice catch. “And I was no one.

“Then I got this overwhelming feeling that I just _wanted_ to be no one. I didn’t want to _be_ anymore. Life was so fucking hard and exhausting, and I was so, _so_ tired. I was tired of everything. And that’s when I looked up and tried to find the closest, tallest building. And it was this one.”

Ricky almost felt his heart stop.

“Climbing up those steps, all I could think was that it would be better this way. It would be easier this way. I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone’s bullshit anymore and I could just be done. Everything could just be done.”

Ricky’s heart pounded. Just the thought—the _thought_ —of her not being on this planet. It made him want to scoop her up and hold her and never let go. But he kept his hands in his lap, resisting every urge he had, and let her speak on. 

“But then I got to this spot—the one that we’re sitting on—and I saw _this_.” Her eyes scanned the view and Ricky followed suit. “It took my breath away, and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t jump. I couldn’t catch my breath. And I got down as quick as I could because I realized that…if there are things in this life that are _this_ beautiful, this magnificent, I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t leave this planet when there could be more of this—this beauty.” 

“And have you found it?” He couldn’t resist to interrupt.

“Found what?” She questioned, finally glancing at him

“More beauty.”

A smile crept up her face. “I found it with the Spades. I find it in every view I get to see when I climb up a building. I found it the first time I teased Gina about a boy she liked and she blushed _so_ much.” She chuckled. “I find it in Kourtney’s laugh, or every time Carlos makes fun of you. I found it with EJ.” Her smile fell just a bit before she locked eyes with Ricky. “I found it with you, with us.” 

Ricky felt like he couldn’t breathe. He’d always known she was incredible and perfect, but knowing every side to her—knowing the depths from which she was able to crawl out of and become this amazing woman sitting before him—it absolutely took his breath away. 

“So, to answer your question,” Nini broke her stare and instead looked out upon the view once more. “I brought you here because I wanted to show you this. It’s reason I am alive today, and it’s the reason I keep living. Because I _know_ that there will always be more to see. That no matter who I am, what I may be, there is always something to live for.

“I wanted to show you this, because without it, I don’t think I would have ever met you.”

His eyes were stinging something fierce, but he didn’t allow himself to cry. No, he hadn’t cried in _years_. But the things she was saying to him…it was like she was melting down every fiber of his being little by little. 

Ricky let out a shaky breath. “Well I hope I’m worth your while.” Was all he was able to get out

She turned to face him, leaning in and brushing her lips against his. “Absolutely.” 

They sat there together for what felt like an eternity (though it may have only been an hour or so). Long enough to see the sun peak over the horizon. Long enough for him to _know_ that she was indeed a gift in his life. Long enough for Nini to yawn and say that they should head back. 

But when they did get back, Ricky got a sense that she wasn’t so tired anymore. He couldn’t resist the urge to wrap his arms around her and kiss her lips, her jaw, her neck. And so they tumbled back onto the bed, hands everywhere, trying to get closer when there was no space left between them. 

He sensed that she wasn’t tired enough to resist clawing at his shirt, and he was in no place to disagree. And she wasn’t tired enough to not reach for the hem of his pants. 

She wasn’t tired enough to not respond _yes_ when he had asked her if she’d ever…

And she wasn’t tired enough to not tell him _yes_ when he asked if she wanted to, and then again when he asked when she was sure. 

And Ricky, he wasn’t really that tired either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo yea. I didn't know if I wanted to make this a smutty fic. I decided not to, but if that's something you guys would want I could try. And it's not like I'm uncomfortable with it, I just don't know if that's anything you guys would want to see in this fic in particular. I wanted to imply that they did ~it~ just to show how their relationship is moving along, but yeah let me know what you think!


	8. a proper lady should know how to kill a man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha and to think I planned for this to be five chapters
> 
> First of all, I'm so sorry it took so long to update, and I'm also sorry to say that the updates are going to become even more infrequent. School is starting soon and I've been crazy busy, so just be patient with me.
> 
> I'm not sure how many more chapters this is gonna be, but at the vary least I can assure you we will get to double digits
> 
> In this chapter, Nini is very Celaena Sardothien, so I hope you SJM fans will appreciate that
> 
> Thank you for all of your wonderful comments. They really encourage me to keep writing this, and I hope I don't let you guys down!
> 
> ....still don't know if I'm gonna go FULL romeo and juliet for this story if you know what I mean but...we'll see
> 
> and lastly, as always make sure to check out the pinterest board for this story. I update it frequently and the pins go along with the plot.  
> Here's the link: https://www.pinterest.com/ultraviolet289/spider-stone/
> 
> enjoy!

Someone was in the bed with her.

Or more specifically, Ricky Bowen was sleeping soundly behind her, arm draped over her midsection, face nuzzled into her hair.

Nini had never woken up with Ricky before. No matter how tight she would cuddle with him the night before, no matter how much she asked him to just stay a little longer, whenever she woke up it was only cold sheets and pillows. Sure, once or twice she may have slipped out of her sleep as he was getting out of the bed to start his day, but she never received more than a kiss to her forehead and a hasty goodbye.

This morning was different. Because not only had she woken up before him, but the room was illuminated with that late morning sun, and the clock on the nightstand read _10:37 AM_.

Ricky Bowen had finally slept it.

Nini liked this. She liked the way her bare back felt pressed against his equally bare chest. She liked the weight of his arm, and the sound of his steady breathing so close to her ear.

Oh so carefully, Nini turned over, still within his arms. Face to face with the boy, he still slept. So she kissed him in between his brows. On the corner of his mouth. The apple of his cheek. And with a lazy smile, Ricky started to stir. His arms tightened around her, pulling her even closer towards his chest. A light laugh escaped her mouth.

“G’morning” he said, voice deep and thick with sleep. He rubbed his eyes, creaking them open just a bit. “What time is it?”

“Ten forty,” Nini replied.

And instantly his head bolted upright, looking around the room to see the sunlight and tossed clothes and shoes, scattered around the room. Nini just laughed again, putting a hand to his chest. “Whatever you had to do this morning, you’ve probably already missed it.” He turned his head back down to face her. The light made his eyes amber and gold. She couldn’t help but admire the beauty of it. “Just stay here with me. Please”

The worry washed off of his face and was replaced with a soft smile. He leaned back down, head dipping to capture her lips with his. The fire of last night had dimmed, for this kiss was soft and sweet. Though, an ember clearly remained as he let his tongue sweep her bottom lip, and Nini raked her hand through his hair.

He pulled away, but her lips followed, trailing his. Nini could feel him smile against her mouth.

“I’ll stay with you, darling, but there’s no time for _that_ right now.”

Reluctantly, she complied, and let her head fall back down on the pillow. His hand still remained on her back, tracing small circles that sent chills up her spine.

He stared at her with those golden eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For last night. And not this,” Ricky motioned between them. “but for what you shared with me on the roof. Thank you.”

Nini moved a curly lock from his face. “I’m glad I got to share it with you.”

“Me too.”

She sunk further into the sheets as silence took over for just a moment. His gaze still pierced through her. She observed how his eyes moved everywhere, like he was inspecting every in of her face. “What?” She asked.

“You’re beautiful.”

Nini grimaced and her hands shot to her face. She’s never been the best with compliments. Sure, if someone told her she looked good when she _knew_ she looked good, she’d be the first to agree. But never when they were so…genuine like this one. She nuzzled into the crook of his neck, whining “Och, stop. No I’m not.”

His chest shook as he laughed. “What do you mean! Yes you are.”

She shook her head. “No, nope—“

“You are so beautiful—“

“Ricky!”

“Nini!” He took her wrists in his hands, prying them away from her face and forcing her to look up at him.

Nini could just feel how _red_ her face was. She had just woken up and now she was flustered and a little sweaty if she was being honest. Hell, she probably had morning breath, and her hair must have been all mussed up. But she forced herself to look up at the boy, and found his perfect face to be unchanged.

“Nini Salazar-Roberts, you are the most beautiful person I have ever known.”

It felt as if she were free falling. It felt as if her body was hurtling through the sky and the clouds, only for the ground to never come. Her butterflies in her stomach, flying hundreds of miles per hour. But instead of white puffy clouds she had his slate gray sheets and tangled arms and legs. Nini couldn’t think of any way to respond other that pressing her lips to his, and continuing to plummet through an endless sky.

_______________________

Nini would have stayed in that bed for hours, but eventually, Ricky stated that he’d already missed a meeting plus his morning workout, so he just _had_ to get up. And she would have complained more, had it not been for being able to watch him change from the bed into his black blazer and turtle neck outfit, and receiving one last kiss before he headed out.

So now she was in the training room with Red, sweat beading her forehead. He was off by the targets while Nini made use of the rock wall. She had been going up and down that damn thing all afternoon, trying to regain some of that grip strength she’d lost over the past couple of months. From when she was a Spade

When she first joined the Spades, Jen immediately took her under her wing as some kind of prodigal apprentice. Honestly, Nini had no clue why she had been chosen. The night she had arrived, Nini was nothing more than a hungry, freezing, teenage drug addict who wanted nothing more than a real bed to sleep on for a little while. She had absolutely no plans of becoming anyone’s Second, or a person of any value. But then Jen swept in and started training her. Everyday, all day.

On the first day, Jen taught Nini how to fire a gun. “A proper lady should know how to kill man,” she had told the seventeen year old girl. Nini had nearly gone deaf that day. Her arms and chest ringing from the unfamiliar feeling of shooting a bullet. But by the end of the week, she was able to hit a bullseye. And every day after that, too.

The next week, Jen had taught Nini hand to hand combat and self defense. And by teach, Jen really just made EJ punch and kick Nini until she learned how to fight back. Within the first two minutes of their first “fight,” Nini had a bloody nose and an emerging black eye. But Nini kept going on, kept landing on her ass, too. But as the fights progressed, Jen would shout at Nini things she should be doing. Where to watch, were to put her foot, how to turn her body. And soon enough, EJ couldn’t land a punch and he was on the ground bleeding.

Jen taught her many things. How to steal a car. How to hack any database. How to stab someone, and how to throw daggers. She taught Nini the weakest points of a man (and no, it surprisingly didn’t include the groin area). She taught Nini how to slip through the shadows, how to run and walk on silent feet, how to stay invisible.

But Nini’s most and simultaneously least favorite lesson happened on a Tuesday night in June. Jen had just made Nini run twenty laps around the entire bread factory. Though the sun had set, the air was hot and stuffy. Nini was gasping, in need of oxygen. Her lungs demanding more and more, her throat dry. She needed, _needed_ water. But when Nini completed her laps, arriving to where Jen was standing, timer in hand, she looked around for her water and it was no where to be seen.

 _Looking for something?_ Jen had sneered. Nini desperately nodded, and Jen pointed up at a spot on the wall of the building, about twenty five feet off the ground. And balanced on the gutter was Nini’s glittering, shiny water bottle. She remembered her own bewilderment when Jen had ordered her to climb up and get it.

 _Really_? Nini had asked. _When am I going to need to climb up the side of a wall?_

_Don’t ask questions, Nina. Just do it. Now climb._

So she did. She clawed at the brick, her feet slipping everywhere, going absolutely no where. Body aching, lungs burning, she heaved herself up. No mat, no cushions. Only pavement and gravel beneath her, Nini pulled herself up. And eventually, she got her water and clambered down.

After taking a couple big gulps, she looked up at Jen, wiping her mouth with the back of her hands, chest heaving from the run and now from the climb.

She’d never seen Jen smile before. Until that night.

And now here she was, a mere twelve feet above a bouncy, cushioned floor, clinging onto a very grip-able plastic rock, trying to swing her heel up to get to the next move.

Somewhere below and behind her, she heard the door swing open and shoes clicking on the floors. Nini knew those dressy shoes anywhere.

“Hey, darling, how’s it hanging?” A familiar voice quipped.

She rolled her eyes. “Ha ha, very funny.” She finally got her heel up and advanced to the next move, letting her hand fly up to a dark green rock. “What’s up?”

“I have a present for you,” Ricky said.

Nini strained slightly as she latched onto a deep, brick red rock, marking the end of this course. She let her legs fall away from the wall, let go, flipping as she came down, and landed perfectly on her two feet. “I love presents. Gimme.”

Nini held her hand out. The boy only smirked as he took his arm away from behind his back and handed her a thick file. “What’s this?” She asked, flipping through the contents.

“ _This_ is your next assignment.”

Her eyes scanned the documents. Blue prints, profiles, images large warehouse. Her eyes widened. “Like—like a heist?” She came across a document that listed an inventory. Guns, grenades, _money_ —

“Yup.” She looked up at him and found a stupid grin on his face. Nini squealed and jumped into his arms. Ricky stumbled back slightly, not expecting the embrace, but quickly laughed and wrapped his arms around the her.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Nini exclaimed, kicking her legs behind her. And when she came down from the hug, she punched him in the shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for?” Ricky rubbed the spot.

“That was for taking so damn long, asshole.” The smile she beheld was starting to hurt her cheeks, but she let out a deep sigh, clutching the file close to her chest. “I. Can’t. Wait.”

Ricky straightened out his blazer. “Well, you won’t have to wait for long. We’re making the hit tonight, so be ready when the sun is down.”

“I will be.”

A spider she was once again.

She wondered what all of the pedestrians thought the black truck contained as it rolled slowly down the busy streets of the city. Certainly not a decked out tech center like the one Nini was sitting it. Computer screens covered the left wall, the blue green screens casting a glow over everything. Ashlyn sat in a swiveling chair, typing away, making sure everything was in check. Red just sat quietly next to her, doing nothing more than checking over the rifle that was in his arms, prepping himself for the job to come.

Nini had heard stories of Ashlyn. EJ’s cousin. His second in command before she defected and joined the Aces. The tech girl before Gina replaced her. Nini only heard bits and pieces of the story, but apparently they had a huge fight and she left. It might have been the only story that EJ would never tell her.

And she didn’t quite understand what they would fight about. In getting to know Ashlyn over these long months, Nini found her be nothing but nice and kind and smart. But she wasn’t one to judge. How a fight could be so bad that you would turn on a family member…Nini knew that all too well.

The spider sat strapped in the back of the truck. Dressed in all black, her signature tight, slicked back bun had returned to its place on her head. Underneath her dark clothes, she’d sheathed daggers and throwing knives of all assortments. Lock picking tools strapped on one hip, and a small handgun on the other. In her boots, she had stuck in her favorite silver dagger…just in case.

In her hands, the spider flipped through the file that Bowen had given her earlier. When she returned to his room, she had read it a little more thoroughly. _Red Diamond Industries_. To the law enforcement, they manufactured an assortment of landscaping machines and materials. But to the black market, they were infamous for trading a contraband weaponry, technology, and general stolen goods

You know, the usual stuff.

Red Diamond Industries had a warehouse just outside the city. The Aces were bringing enough vehicles to steal an estimated twenty million dollars worth of goods. As stated in her hit file, the spider was bypass the six on duty, armed guards, break in through a vent on the roof, disable their security, and unlock the facility for the Aces to come and ransack the place.

The spider shut the file tight after reading it for the fifth time. Her knee bounced up and down, her fingers constantly gripping and regripping her daggers. It was like there was a bolt of lightning sitting just under her skin, waiting to be unleashed. It had been so, _so_ long since she had felt the thrill of going on a job. Since she’d felt the adrenaline of a high stakes mission like this one.

Bowen sat next to her, assembling an obsidian black rifle in his lap. _Click click click._ The sounds of his movements reverberated through the truck, accompanied only by the sound of the engine and some of Ashlyn’s typing. He sported a tight, black turtle neck similar to the spider’s that fit perfectly around his muscular form. There was already one gun strapped to his back, along with a handgun on his hip (plus one that was surely in his boot). When he settled his weapon, he turned towards Nini, an unspoken question in his look. _Are you feeling okay? Are you sure you’re ready?_

She kept that steel expression on her face, like armor for the jumble of excitement and anticipated and the slight fear she was on the inside. And she nodded. Hell yeah she was ready for this.

Her feet were deathly quiet on the pavement just thirty feet from the towering warehouse. Settling under the shadow of an electrical box, the spider counted the guards. Fourteen, just as the report stated. She pressed a finger to the communication device in her ear and whispered the all clear to Ashlyn.

Just then, the low sound of a rumbling engine emerged from the opposite side of the warehouse. With it, a dim red light flashed. Not too quiet or dim that the guards couldn’t sense it, but not too loud or bright that it was an obvious trap. Just as they’d planned.

The guards shifted their attention, the tall, dark haired one in charge saying something indiscernible, followed by four of the guards heading over to check it out. With the traps that they’d placed earlier that night, Ashlyn’s tech would lead them on for an estimated thirty five minutes.

_Thirty five minutes. I have to move now._

Nini got up from her position and headed towards the south wall, where most of the absent guards had previously been standing. She slipped easily through the shadows, so precise and hidden it was almost as if the the light from the emergency lamps might burn her on contact.

She approached the first guard from behind. In a flash, her arms were around his neck in a head lock, cutting off his oxygen, his voice. Slowly and silently, he started to fall backwards against her, and the spider dragged him into the dark.

For the second guard, all it took was a hard knock on the head with the hilt of her dagger and he was out cold.

When she reached the wall, careful to keep inside the camera blindspots, she began climbing. The cold, sheet metal sides of the warehouse made it a tad bit more difficult, but it was nothing unfamiliar. Her fingers found their grip the ledges and edges invisible to non climbers. Her feet followed, just as nimbly, just as quiet.

Up, up, up Nini went, her movements engraved into her mind. Nothing more than muscle memory. This is what she supposed to do, what she was _made_ for. The distance between her and the ground grew wider with every second. The stars up above her were nothing more than a challenge, waiting for her to reach them. Maybe one day she would.

But for now, she pulled herself up, and climbed up onto the roof.

Just outside the city, Nini was greeted with the unfamiliar view of trees. Sure, past them were the glittering lights but just below her was nothing short of a lush, green forest. She could almost sense the several vehicles that were sitting in the dark. Waiting. Waiting for her.

Bending down towards the vent, Nini took out her tools and started working. Within seconds, something clicked and the vent popped open.

“Vent breached,” she whispered into her communication device.

The spider clambered in. The echoing inside vents was possibly the loudest noise someone could hear in their lifetimes—creeping just ahead of crying babies and the introduction noise from that one movie production company. But having done this god knows how many times, Nini’s body was light and silent as she shimmied her way down. Like a ghost floating through the air ducts.

Same drill for the exit. Lock picking tools. Click. Pop. Open. She set the vent panel to lean against the vent wall beside her as she peered directly down, Birdseye view, into the warehouse.

The observed the dozens of shelves, neatly lined up throughout the building. She could see guns and cases and computers and who knows what else. It really was the jackpot.

This would be the hard part. Climbing along the scaffolding on the ceiling so she could avoid any cameras.

Careful as she could, Nini lowered herself down into the opening. To anyone inside the warehouse, she would be nothing but dangling legs hanging out of a ceiling vent. Only supported by her trained arms, Nini swung her legs up and onto the scaffolding, latching them on tight.

Then, in a smooth movement, the spider let her arms go. Her upper body fell through the vent and she was now swinging upside down—only to use this momentum to swing harder, arching her back into a near bridge and grabbing onto the next beam of scaffolding.

“Any updates, spider?” A familiar male voice spoke through the intercom.

“One—I’m a little preoccupied right now. And two—I told you not to call me that.”

“Whatever you say, spider.”

She rolled her eyes, and again she swung, but his time it was her legs that let go, only to again latch onto the next beam. She soon heaved herself upright so she could be standing on the thin beams of the scaffolding, balanced like a gymnast.

Nini spotted the first camera and scurried to it, being careful not to fall for there was a forty foot drop that would certainly lead to major injuries, plus blowing this entire job. When she arrived, she crouched down, taking out her tools and using them to open up the camera and disable it. _Manual disable ensures that they can’t track it back to our computers,_ Nini remembered Gina telling her the first time the Spades made her go around and tediously disable cameras. 

Nini snipped at a wire, and an electrical humming inside of it stopped.

One by one she shut down the cameras, dancing along the scaffolding, swinging around like a goddamn monkey. Of the many times Jen would piss her off or vice versa, Nini always thought that hey, if all else fails—she can join the circus.

With a snip, the last camera was down.

“It’s all clear.”

_________________________

Two Aces opened the garage door, the rolling sound of the chains unusually loud and grating against the silence of the night. Ricky gave them a nod of thanks as he hopped out of the back of the truck, rifle in hand, and strolled through the entrance.

In the center of the warehouse, framed by the dozens and dozens of shelves, Nini Salazar Roberts stood, cloaked in black, arms crossed, finger tapping on her forearm, a small smirk on her face.

She was fucking gorgeous.

He stalked towards her as she stood unmoving. And not until he was close enough to take in her scent, jasmine and something like waking up in the late morning, did Ricky speak.

“Aces!” He shouted, keeping his gaze on her golden eyes. “Lets raid!”

Aces started pouring out of the trucks that were parked, openings facing the open garage doors. Their footsteps echoed through the building, sounds of cheering and whooping filled the air around him. Out of his peripheral, Aces raced past him, and ahead of him, they started emptying the shelves.

“Guards?”

“Sleeping”

“Cameras?”

“Broken”

“You?”

“Alive,” Nini said, a glint in her eyes. “I feel alive.”

Ricky’s cheek twitched, suppressingthat smile that the girl in front of him was causing. He started leaning down, his lips reaching for her’s. Just a little further and he would be—

“Sir?” An Ace approached them, eagerly catching his attention. Ricky shut his eyes, lips tightening into a straight line.

“Yes, Bert?”

Bert held up a large metal case. “They have seven cases of these grenades you wanted, but we only have room for six. Should we find something to get rid of, or do you want to leave it and we can—“

“Just pack it, Bert,” Ricky spoke sharply.

“Yes, but do you want—“

“ _Pack it.”_

Bert’s face fell and he scurried away as quick as he could.

Turning back to Nini, her eyebrows were raised. “So where were we?” Ricky sighed.

Nini chuckled and shook her head, laughing at his irritation, but nonetheless tipped up on her toes and leaned her head up and—

“Bowen”

This time Ricky audibly groaned. “What is it Red?”

“There’s a case of that new black market ammunition I thought you might want to check out? It’s over here, I can show you.”

Ricky smiled tightly, cocking his head to the side at the red head. “Fantastic, thank you.”

And once again, he turned back to Nini, the girl standing there patiently. He shook his head slightly as if to get back into the mood, _finally_ getting to lean back in and—

The spider held a finger to his lips. “Seems like you’re busy, I’ll get out of your way. Maybe help those newbies trying to lift that large ass crate.”

His mouth gaped open, eyebrows creasing in bewilderment at the woman in front of him. His entire face screaming _are you fucking serious?_

She grinned and leaned her head in to whisper in his ear. “Don’t worry, we can finish this later.”

And with that she spun away, sauntering off the the aforementioned group, leaving Ricky to shake away the heat rising to his cheeks, and remember that he’s the fucking leader of the Aces, not some dumbstruck, puppy who just wants to kiss the freaking gorgeous, baddass girl walking away.

Even if that was exactly what he was.

________________________

“So how are things with Nini?” Red blurted out.

“ _Dude,”_ Ricky’s eyes widened, looking around to see if anyone just heard him.

Red hauled up a case. “What? You were just about to suck each other’s faces off, and _I’m_ the scandalous one for asking how things are?”

Ricky rolled his eyes, helping the red head to shove the case into the truck. “That’s different. That shows…power. It makes me look fucking cool because she’s _Nini_. If you ask me how it’s going then it makes it seem like some…lame boyfriend-girlfriend-gushy relationship thing.”

Big red’s brows creased in confusion, lower lip jutting out. “But isn’t that kinda what it is?”

They started walking back to get more cases and crates, Aces working and packing all around them. Ricky spotted Nini by the left wall climbing up a shelf to help the group get something down. “Well…I don’t know. We’re together, and I like her— _a lot_ I guess—but…”

“But what?” Big Red questioned.

Ricky sighed. But he already went too far and he’s worried it might be too late to reel it back in. But Nini was starting to crack the stone facade he’s been keeping up and he’s desperately trying to keep everything together with tape and glue. But he knows that he’s an Ace and she’s a Spade, and inevitably…it’s going to have to end before he…loves…her.

But Ricky doesn’t say any of it. “Let’s just drop it, Red. It’s—it’s whatever.”

And Big Red did. He went back to hauling crates of weapons and ammunition. Because he knows Ricky. And he knew that if he pushed it any further, Ricky might’ve just slapped him.

Ricky clenched his jaw, and quickly brushed away that tiny feeling of guilt that clanged around through his chest.

Soon, the shelves of the warehouse looked nearly bare, and the trucks parked by the garage entrances were packed. Aces started filing out. Ricky sighed. Tonight went off without a hitch. No chaos. No feds. No injuries. And best of all, Nini seemed fine and super happy about participating.

As if she could sense his thoughts about her, the spider creeped up from behind him, silently taking a place by his side.

“Tonight went well,” She spoke, still staring forward as they observed the trucks from the floor of the warehouse.

“Yes, it did,” Ricky nudged her shoulder. “Thanks to you.” She turned and beamed up at him. Ricky couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thank god we didn’t have any complications, because—“

Suddenly there was a crashing behind him. _Good god,_ Ricky thought, turning around to see the commotion. Low and behold, at the opposite end of the warehouse, little Cal was struggling to lift a final crate, only for the contents to come tumbling out.

“Cal! Just leave it! We need to—“

Black figures swept in from no where. A cloaked arm wrapped itself around Cal’s neck. The boy’s eyes filled with terror, no more than a squeak coming out of his through. Guards surrounded the boy before Ricky had a chance to shout.

Quickly, Ricky and Nini ducked behind some shelves, staying out of sight from the guards.

“Who are you here with, _boy?!_ ” One of the guards shouted. A _thump_ sound came from Cal’s direction. The sound eerily like someone being shoved and kicked into the ground.

“ _No one!_ ” Ricky could hear the terror in the boy’s voice. That grating, shrieking nose of someone in sheer panic. “I swear I’m here alone!”

“ _Liar_ ” another guard snarled, landing another kick.

Ricky plucked the gun from his hip, checking the barrel for amo and quickly cocking it. Holding it up to his chest in a ready stance, he turned to Nini. “Go with the others. I’ll be right there.”

“No way!” She whispered, seeing his gun and his body itching to get up and go. “You can’t face all those guards alone.”

“Just go!” He whispered a more urgently.

“You’re gonna get yourself killed!”

Thinking fast, Ricky pulled the laces on Nini’s boot. The spider narrowed her eyes in a look that said _are you really that immature?_

Ricky shrugged.

And nodded.

And in a flash he was up and charging at the guards. Bullets flying (from both sides), shouts going out—the Ace leader would face a certain death if it meant saving Cal.

At only sixteen years old, Ricky and Red ran away from home to search high and low for the Aces. They’d been hearing about the infamous gang for months, saving newspaper clippings of their heists. Spying in the streets for just a glimpse of one of their members. For the two boys, the Aces meant freedom from their broken homes. It meant having a team, having that guarantee of loyalty.

And it also meant having that power over the city.

Eventually the two boys found themselves being thrown into the back of a van, blinded and bound. Just earlier they had been walking the dark streets, and the next they had bags over their head and ropes around their wrists.

Bags ripped off, the late Ace leader, Mazzara stood before them, arms crossed. Questioning them, asking why they had been spying. _Who are you working for?_ Mazzara had said.

Ricky explained it to him as best he could, for on the inside he was a jumble of excitement. Sure, he’d just been kidnapped, but he was kidnapped by the _Aces—_ just where he wanted to be. So Mazzara took them in, claiming it wouldn’t hurt to have two more young, fit boys in their ranks.

And that was that. Mazzara let them in, and _that was that_. The ace leader barely gave them a second of his attention, a fraction of his time. Time and time again, Ricky tried to get a one on one, but Mazzara refused, claiming he had more valuable things to do with his time that train a pair of rookies.

Ricky was furious. He did not search to the ends of the earth only to be forgotten by yet another man in charge. So he trained. He strained every day, until once day Mazzara announced he would be away with a crew of Aces on a job.

And Ricky took it upon himself to sneak into the truck, a single handgun his his boot, and all the courage he could muster.

Everything in that night happened in a blur, but it was the night that shaped Ricky into the leader he was today.

The heist was at a small storage facility. Ricky spotted a huge case on the back wall. Surely there was something valuable hell in it. If he could get it, maybe he would prove to Mazzara that he was worth training.

So he snatched it up. And alarms went off, red lights, blaring noise. Two guards came storming in, guns aimed for the sixteen year old boy. Ricky knew this was it. He would die before he had a chance to become anybody. He shut his eyes, ready for death.

Yet when a shot rang through the air, death didn’t come. Not even a bullet came. Instead, Ricky opened his eyes to Mazzara sprawled on the ground, clutching a wound in his stomach, and three ace agents taking down the guards from behind.

Ricky fell to his knees, apologizing profusely pressing the wound with his own hands. It was the injury that would hinder Mazzara in the future, and ultimately lead to his death.

But it was also this night that Mazzara explained his honor code. No Ace left behind, big or small.

So it would be Ricky’s code, as well. It was his one exception to his logic and calculation.

He wouldn’t leave Cal for dead. No matter how stupid it might be, he had to try.

As for the guards…he couldn’t care less.

His bullets hit their marks. Blood sprayed and armed men fell to the ground. Ricky ducked as bullets shot towards him and clanged off of the shelving units. Soon, his gun clicked, barren of bullets. Ricky cursed and ducked behind a shelf to reload.

Suddenly a flash of silver whizzed past him. His eyes widened in a panic shock as Nini Salazar fucking Roberts charged out of the shadows, daggers in hand, flipping through the air to dodge the guards’ bullets. In seconds, she was upon them, slashing and slicing, leaving splatters of red in their wake. Graceful as a dancer, she went hand to hand with one of the larger guards, eventually landing a punch so hard in his face, he was down on the ground.

Ricky finally rose from his crouched position on the ground, approaching the spider and a trembling Cal holding his face in agony.

The girl turned around slowly, fallen men at her feet, blood streak across her face, caked in her hair.

She stalked towards him, stopping just beside him as he stared at her handy work.

She turned her head to look up at him. “Where you go, I go. Don’t you forget that.”

And with that, Nini turned back to Cal, spinning her her blade in her fingers before sheathing back to its place on her side. She reached her hand out to Cal. The boy stood up on shaky legs, his face starting to swell, his eye beginning to bruise. He took her hand.

The pair started walking back until Ricky could see Nini’s chest rise and fall in a huff. She paused.

Her free hand reached out behind her, fingers making a grabby motion. “C’mon. You, too.”

Ricky bit the inside of his mouth, suppressing a grin, before jogging forward and taking her hand.

 _Where you go, I go_.

He wouldn’t forget.


	9. going down, like the titanic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil laugh*

Nini caught the gun in her left hand, letting out four shots before sprinting forward to take down one of the men on watch. He charged at her, but her foot met him in the face, throwing him back, staggering on the ground. A shout came from in front of her and she whipped her head up, only to find a second guy aiming a gun She prepared to duck and roll, but out from her right, Ricky emerged, killing the man in one shot before lowering his firearm.

For three weeks it had been nothing but hit after hit. Whenever Ricky announced one, Nini would be the first to volunteer, helping in any way she could. Not before long, Ricky’s job announcements couldn’t keep up with Nini’s eagerness. Eventually, it turned into Nini seeking out a job, no matter how small, to go on.

And soon, when there were no Aces left who wanted to go on such frequent hits, it just became her and Ricky against the city. Together.

She loved it. Cooped up for months, she was finally set free. It was like shaking a soda and popping the cap off, all that pressure building up exploding everywhere and all at once. Nini broke into anywhere in the city she could, climbed any building that necessary to the hit, and sometimes climbed just for shits and giggles. Just to see that view.

Tonight they were intercepting a deal with a weapons dealer. Ricky hauled up the duffle bag full of cash onto his back, taking a good look at Nini to make sure she was okay. They needed to get to the fire escape. Red, who they finally convinced to tag along, was in a getaway van outside, and had been instructed to leave, no matter what, at 2 am, to avoid the police poking around.

It was 1:57. They needed to move.

The pair jogged down the long, dark hallway of the building, shooting down the occasional body guard or security camera. Nini’s legs propelled her forward, that feeling of plummeting taking over her body.

Kissing Ricky and going on heists. She added it to the list of things that felt way better than being high.

In the corner of her eye, she saw a black figure emerge from an intersecting hallway. Her silver throwing knife slipped from her hands, landing in the man’s chest. The gun aimed at Ricky fell from his hand, and the man crumpled to his knees.

Ricky spoke as they kept running. “Thanks, babe.”

The pair finally made it onto the fire escape. It was chilly out, but the moonlight and blooming spring seemed to give them enough warmth. In the distance a siren sounded, but it was far enough for Nini to know it was not meant for them. She spotted the black van on the ground and began her decent down the rickety stairs.

Before she could put a foot down, an arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her in tight. Eager lips met hers, her breath hitched. The scent of blood still lingered on Ricky’s clothing, but under it she could still smell that familiar, leather and piney smell she loved so much. She forced herself away from him.

“We don’t have time for this, Ricky. Red’s gonna have to leave without us.”

“There’s always time for this,” he said with a smirk before leaning his head back down.

Nini slipped out from under his arms and dropped down to the next level. Before she went any further, she craned her neck up to look at Ricky, giving him a shrug and a tight lipped smile.

She only saw him shake his head and chuckle before following her into the dark alley below. 

* * *

The group met in the armory, taking their seats around a long black table that they’d set up for meetings. The cash that Ricky and Nini had just acquired was sitting in a pile in the center. The trio had woken up their friends for this meeting, with Ashlyn dozing on Big Red’s shoulder, and Carlos straining to keep his eyes open. Nini sat with her legs up on the table, not entirely sure why Ricky called this meeting in the first place. But hey, if it meant more work for her, she was fine with it.

Ricky reached below the table and pulled out a huge stack of files. He instructed Ashlyn on his right to start passing them around the table.

“I have a huge job for you guys in a couple of days.” Nini received her dark brown colored file. It was nearly an inch thick, and made a heavy _thump_ when she lowered her legs and placed it onto the table. She flipped open to the first page. Inside was a photo of a decently large family. The mothers, daughters, sons, uncles, aunts, and whatever else stood around a dark hair man in an equally dark suit. He was the only one sitting down.

“These are the Romanos. Mafia family, specialty in arms dealing.” Ricky opened up his own file and placed a finger in the center of the page. “Marco Romano is currently the head of his family. His father just stepped down, so he’s been trying to consolidate his power in the surrounding cities. I’ve received word that he’s coming to this city in a couple of days to do the same.”

Marco Romano. Nini stared at the inky image in front of her. Sharp features. Dark eyes to match his hair. And even though his skin looked tanned and warm, the natural frown and slanted eyes on his face sent a chill down her spine. She kept flipping through the file. It seemed Ricky had compiled a collection of Marco’s most recent endeavors. _Bank Robbed at Gunpoint. Four Bodies Found at the Bottom of East River. Weapon Smugglers Stopped at California Border._

 _Romano Family Suspected_.

“Do we know what exactly what he had in mind?” Carlos asked, eyes still down on his file.

“Word has it he’s gonna make a huge deal with the Lions.” Ricky crossed his arms, his voice dropping down to match the seriousness of his words.

“The Lions?” Ashlyn looked as shocked as she was confused. “Why?”

If you knew the city, you would know that the Spades and Aces were infamous for being the wealthiest, most high tech, high success rate gangs around. They were organized and discreet, yet wreaked havoc on wealthy families and organizations.

But the Lions. They were savages.

Brutal. Relentless. Almost animalistic. The resided in the south part of the city, a place where no Spade or Ace would ever bother enter. They killed anyone who stood in their way, or even just inconvenienced them. They ransacked and ruined any place they entered.

And it wasn’t that the Spades and Aces were scared of them. Quite the opposite actually. The Lions acted without dignity. Killed and tortured their enemies mercilessly, cruelly. They robbed the already poor. They fended on the weak. Destroyed their already crumbling city with their endless drive by’s and street races.

No honorable Ace or Spade would ever spare a second dealing with a Lion.

Except for now, apparently.

“Who knows, but Marco is going to trade a shit ton of weapons for the Lion’s drug supply.”

Nini nearly shivered. She almost forgot how the Lions had dozens of drug dens set up in their part of the city. Once upon a time, she’d begged EJ to take her there like some fucking kid begging for Disney. Now it just made her want to vomit.

“They’re meeting in one of Romano’s buildings downtown. I want to intercept the deal. We can figure out the details and create the plan in the next couple of days, but the goal is for us to take the firearms and the drugs to sell on the black market.”

Nini looked up at Ricky only to find him already staring at her. She swallowed. There were unspoken words in his eyes that she couldn’t quite guess. _Does he think I’m ready for this?_ She thought. _Do_ I _?_.

Sobriety was a difficult place to reach, but Nini had gotten there, and she’d been there for nearly six months. Before, life was just about finding her next high but…now she had it. She had Ricky, and these new amazing friends. She had her books and her jobs and her training. Was it enough to give her the strength the stay sober? To have these drugs in her grasp and resist them?

She kept Ricky’s gaze. The eyes of someone who helped her heal, every step of the way, were staring right back. The eyes of someone she had laughed with and cried to. Had told her life story to, had shown the deepest parts of her soul. The eyes of someone she shared a bed with and kissed and held. Someone who would never leave an Ace behind, who cared so much but never showed it. Who made her laugh until her sides hurt and beat her at Uno every single time they played and could talk throughout an entire movie and never realize it.

The eyes of someone she loved.

Nini’s mouth went dry. Her entire body suddenly felt numb and prickly. She loved him. Freaking _loved_ him. Nini Salazar Roberts L worded Ricky Bowen and, it hit her like a towering ocean wave, swallowing her up only to spit her back out on the sandy shore with the numbing realization that she was in love for the very first time in her life.

So, to his questioning gaze, Nini nodded. Because she would not be tempted by the drugs, or freak out just at the sight of them. Because Nini was in love, and she was sure that nothing would ever feel as amazing as that. 

* * *

Nini didn’t know how to tell him. hell, she didn’t even know if she _would_ tell him. Ricky had told her he would never love, and here she was, loving him. So, like any normal person would do when they’ve realized their undying love for a gang leader of one of the most infamous gangs in the city, Nini avoided him all of the next day, and decided to hang out with Ashlyn.

Of course she knew that she’d have to deal with it soon. But not just yet. When? Nini had absolutely no clue.

Nini sat in a spare chair next to Ashlyn’s in the computer room, legs spread straight out, spinning the chair back and forth and back and forth, head lolling around on the back rest while Ashlyn typed and typed away. Ashlyn was working on the coding to some type of untraceable security-shut down system. Nini simply nodded and grunted in agreement as Ashlyn explain the complicated and “wondrous” ways on computers and coding.

She couldn’t take it anymore. This unending silence that Ashlyn wasn’t even aware as her fingers flew across her keyboard. She needed something—just one thing to talk about. Anything, c’mon Nini—

“So what happened with you and EJ?” Nini said out of the blue. Her eyes widened just as the words left her mouth. Ashlyn paused, hands stilling on the keyboard. Nini sat up in her chair, snapping into pure awareness of what she had just said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to just…come out like that. But I was really close with EJ and he never talked about it.”

She really just kept making it worse, didn’t she? _He never really talked about it._ In her mind, Nini palmed herself in the forehead. “O—or I just mean that you used to be a Spade and I used to be a Spade, and now we’re here with the Aces. So I just thought that maybe…uh”

Ashlyn chuckled, turning her chair to the brunette who was tripping over herself. “It’s fine, Nini, really.”

Nini smiled awkwardly, appreciative of the understanding red head. Ashlyn blew air out of her mouth, searching for a place to start. “EJ came to live with us after his parents died. He was seven, I was six. He was pretty traumatized by it, but my parents swore to treat him as their own, and eventually he became more like a brother to me.”

Nini had always known EJ lost his parents, she just never knew he was so young.

“My parents were really supportive of him. They kind of became his crutch through the whole grief thing. You know EJ, he can be a little distant to new people. It takes a while for him to warm up to you. But with my parents, he really loved them.

And then one day, I was at my very first sleepover with this girl in my first grade class. I thought I was ready to spend a night away from my parents, but I chickened out at the last second. Everything was just so unfamiliar, I couldn’t do it. So I faked a stomach ache and made them pick me up. We were driving, and I guess my dad had a long day at work or something, and he fell asleep at the wheel and…”

“Oh, Ashlyn, I’m so sorry.” Nini placed her hand over her friend’s.

“It’s fine. It was a long time ago. We were devastated, for a long, _long_ , time. But we went through all the stages of grief. We picked each other up and moved on. Realized we couldn’t just stay sad forever, and that my parents would want us to be happy.” Nini saw that melancholy expression that passed through her face for just a moment. “Anyway, fast forward to the Spades. We had this really important hit. It was one of EJ’s first hits as gang leader—and I messed up the coding on disabling the security cameras, and we almost got caught. I mean, _everything_ we did in that job was taped. It took hours and hours of damage control to fix it. EJ got _super_ pissed at me. We got into a huge, _huge_ argument. Many things were…said. And I guess in the heat of the moment he…he blamed me for my parents’ death.”

Nini scooted her chair closer, tightening her grip on Ashlyn’s hand. “Ashlyn, it was _not_ your fault.”

“I know. And I think I knew that at the time. But EJ and I only had each other, and him saying that—I just felt so betrayed. It was like he knew just just where to hit me where it hurt the most, and he was just _waiting_ to say it.”

“I’m no stranger to family leaving you behind. But…I will just say this—I knew the EJ after you. The one who _really_ regrets saying all that stuff. He holds all of his friends super close, you know. He protects _all_ of us…and I think it’s because he regrets losing you.”

Ashlyn frowned. “I always think about that. How he might have changed, grown up a little bit. But then I made this new home with the Aces. I made friends, met Big Red and fell in love with him. I just got too attached here, and I don’t think I could go back.”

Nini stilled. Heat washed over her. _Fell in love with him_.

It was the same story, wasn’t it? A Spade falling in love with an Ace. But did this mean that Nini was destined to stay here forever, too?

There was only one thing she could do, to know if it really was her fate to find a new home where with the Aces. Nini would have to tell him.

“Ashlyn, you should know that you will always have a place with the Spades. No matter what. I’m sure EJ would love to have you back. And if think staying with the Aces is the best choice, then I think he would just want you to be happy.”

Ashlyn gave her a tight lipped smile. “Thank you, Nini. Really.”

Nini sighed and stood up from her chair, brushing her hands on the side of her pants. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I have something super important to say to someone.”

“Ricky?” Ashlyn guessed

Nini chuckled. “How did you know?”

“You just have that look in your eyes.” Ashlyn gave Nini’s hand one last squeeze. A gesture that told Nini that Ashlyn knew. Knew what Ricky was like, knew the oath he made to himself. “Good luck, Nini.”

* * *

It just wasn’t the right time, is what Nini told herself.

She was gonna do it—she really was. But then he looked up from the stack of papers on his desk, and smiled so fucking wide when he saw her and she just couldn’t. What if he didn’t love her back? What if he freaked out? She didn’t want to ruin this, she didn’t want to wipe away that beautiful smile from his face.

So she let him invite her to go to the cafe. And she let him put her coat on for her and hold her hand. And she didn’t say a word through it all.

At the cafe, they had their papers strewn all across their tiny wooden table. If someone looked closely, they could very clearly see that everything they were working on was illegal, but the owners seemed to turn a blind eye. In fact, the barista brought over two hot chocolates without even saying a word. Ricky simply thanked her, took a sip, and went back to working.

Nini looked up at him, and she was taken aback at just how fucking much she loved this boy. She didn’t know what it was, but it was just _love_. Maybe it had to do with the way the sun filtered through his curls. Or how his skin looked golden compared to the tanned jacket he was wearing. Or how his eyebrows creased when his eyes landed on something startling on the papers.

She straightened her back, squared her shoulders. Suddenly not knowing what to do with her hands, Nini decided to just fold them on the table in front of her. It took her a moment, but she found her voice. “Hey, Ricky?”

“Yeah?” He didn’t lift his eyes from the page. He even took a moment to jot down a note.

“Can I—” she cleared her throat, finding herself with a billion butterflies in her stomach. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure, darling.”

Nini took a breath. This was it. Whatever happened afterward, it didn’t matter. She had to have this out into the universe. She needed him to know. It was now or never. “Ricky, I lo—“

“Nini, you you think you can make a fifteen foot jump?” He leaned in to show her a blueprint. “Like if—if the place you were jumping from was a little higher,” he motioned it with his hand. “Like from one building to another, could you make the jump?” He finally looked up at her with genuine curiosity.

Nini blinked. Her mouth gaped open for a second before she nodded. Nodded profusely. “Yeah, I think—I think I can do that. I would have to check it out before I made the jump, but I’m pretty sure I can.”

“Ok, _great_ ,” Ricky made a note. He finally put his pen down and looked up at her. “Sorry about that. What were you gonna say?”

“I was, um,” she shook her head. “I was gonna suggest that I do some reconnaissance tonight. So I can scope out the area. You know, we really don’t do a lot of work in the south part of the city, so it might be smart to get familiar with it.”

He smiled. “That is a fantastic idea, Nini.” Ricky leaned in to kiss her cheek, before looking down at her untouched hot chocolate. “Hurry, you should drink it before it gets cold.”

Nodding, Nini took the drink in her hands as Ricky went back to his work.

Great. This was going to be even harder than she thought.

* * *

Nini plopped down onto the couch after unstrapping the layers of weapons she had armed herself with a few hours before. Her accidentally suggested reconnaissance was fine. She scoped out the height of the buildings, the entrances, the cameras. All while avoiding any potential Lions. Who knows what kind of nightmare it would be if they found out Aces were infiltrating their territory. She shivered just thinking about it.

Ricky was still pouring over the plans at his desk. He was basically in the same position he was when she left. Crouched over his desk, the light of his laptop casting white over his face. Eyes droopy, curls mussed up. Pen gripped tightly in his hand. The two of them alone in his office.

The two of them alone.

Nini got up from her spot on the couch and made her way behind Ricky. She slid her arms around his neck, leaning down to rest her chin on his shoulder. He kissed her hand, but still let his attention remain on his work.

His warmth leeched through her skin. His scent wrapping around her. Everything familiar everything right.

And she felt oddly calm.

“I love you” She whispered into his ear. So quiet she didn’t know if he even heard. But he froze under her arms, his hand ceasing its writing.

“What.” It wasn’t a question. She knew he heard her.

“I love you, Ricky”

And she waited for him to say it back.

And waited

And waited

He pushed away slightly from his desk, and she took her arms back. They fell uselessly at her sides.

Rick stood up from his chair, and he walked away. Away from Nini, raking his hands through his hair. When he turned to face her, his hands scrubbed at his face. When they fell away, blood had risen to his cheeks and ears. He shut his eyes tightly. “Nini, I…I told you I wasn’t going to,” his hands balled into fists. “I told you I never wanted to love—“

She felt her heart crumple a little in her chest “I thought you were moving on from that. I thought I was helping you to.” Her voice was small.

“Moving on? Don’t you remember anything I’ve told you? About my mom leaving and my dad? It’s not the kind of thing you can just ‘move on’ from, Nini.” Ricky’s voice began to raise.

“I do remember, but I’ve been helping you to heal. We—we were helping each other.” Her eyes began to sting, but she wouldn’t let her voice waver.

“I’m not some broken thing that you _fix_ , Nini. Do you know me at all? Do you?!”

“Ricky, why are you yelling at me?”

“I asked you a goddamn question, Nini!”

“I do know you, Ricky! And I—I love you—“

“ _Stop saying it!_ ” His voice was hoarse. “God, _please_ shut up and stop saying _it_ ”

A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye, burning her cheek as it fell, so much she was certain it would leave a blistering scar. She wiped it away quickly with the back of her sleeve. “So you’re never going to love anything. Or anyone. Ever.”

He clenched his jaw. “Never.”

“Not even me?” She asked, unable to suppress the crack in her voice.

He said nothing.

And she felt her heart collapse in on itself.

Who was it that told her to never be ashamed of her feelings? To not be sorry for who she was? It was Ricky. It was _always_ Ricky. And here she was, spilling the final contents of her soul out to him. And he had told her to stop. To _shut up_.

She averted her eyes to the ceiling, letting the last of her tears settle, for she wouldn’t be a crying girl in this next part.

Nini crossed her arms. Her voice dropping deathly low. “I’ve been trying so _fucking_ hard to understand you, Ricky.” She locked her gaze with him. Those eyes that she’d once thought honey and golden, were dark a dark shade of brown they were almost black. “To understand why you are so repulsed by the idea of love, and you know what?” Nini scoffed. “I think I understand now.

“ _So what_ that your dad was a drunk, and your mom left you.” She said slowly

Total shock covered the boy’s face. “Excuse me?”

She stood taller. “I said: so _fucking_ what that your dad was a drunk and your mom left you.” Nini started to stalk towards Ricky. Each word was sharp, sharp enough to cut through flesh. “You act like you’re the only damaged one here, but wake up call, Ricky, we _all_ have some kind of fucking baggage! Ashlyn was orphaned before she could ride a freakin bike. Carlos came out to his parents and they kicked him out onto the streets. I had a boyfriend at _fifteen_ years old who got me hooked on opioids, and when my moms left me homeless he dumped me.” He looked taken aback by her little confession. “My point is, Ricky, we’ve _all_ had a pretty rough go at things, but you know what the difference is between you and us. We’ve gotten the _fuck_ over it. We’ve grown the fuck up.”

There was a raging fire underneath her skin. She had to grip her hands just to stop them from shaking. He would not speak to her that way. Not when she had just poured her heart out. Nini knew there was venom in her voice, and maybe she would regret everything later, but they called her a spider for a reason.

“But you, _you_ cling onto your childhood trauma like it’s a fucking baby blanket. Yeah, we wouldn’t be the people we are today without all the shitty things that happened to us, but you let it _control_ you. You let it take charge of your entire _fucking_ life” She stepped closer. “But I know you. And now I understand. That on the inside you’re still a scared little boy. It’s not about logic and calculation. It’s _never_ been about that. You’re just too scared that if you feel something you’re gonna get hurt all over again. And you lie to yourself, and you refuse to actually _live_ because you’re just—you’re a coward”

Nini saw the glassiness of his eyes, but she pressed on. She let the rage guide her. “And you know what, Ricky? I _pity_ you. I pity that you can’t see how much there is that you love in this world. _”_

 _“_ Get out.” Ricky finally spoke. His voice quiet.

Nini stood her ground. “I see how much you love the Aces. How much you care about their health and happiness.”

“Get out.”

“I see how much you love those children at the home. I’ve seen that photo on the wall and you are _so_ happy, Ricky”

“Get. out.”

“I see how much you love your friends. You try to hide your laugh when you’re with them, but I see it. And I know how much you love Red. I know you would die for him, and not from some Ace loyalty bullshit, but because he’s your best friend and you’ve been through everything together. He loves you just as much and you’re just too much of a coward to confront him about it.”

“Get out, Nini”

“And I see how much you love _me._ You look at me and—and I just fucking know. I know it every time you kiss me, and every time you hold me. I know it when you make sure I’m okay every second of every day. After everything we’ve been through, I just _know it_ , because I love you so fucking much and there’s no way that you don’t feel the same.”

“I SAID GET OUT OF MY FUCKING OFFICE, NINI! _Get out!”_ Ricky shouted. His chest stayed heaving as his words rang throughout the room.

If Nini were not so angry, her knees might have just buckled underneath her. But instead she took just one last step closer to him. “ _Gladly_.” She whispered.

She moved towards the door. But it wasn’t the door to their—his bedroom. She turned to the one that led out into the halls of the Ace building.

Her hand gripped the door handle. She turned it slowly. Waiting.

Waiting to feel Ricky’s hand on her shoulder. To hear him say “I love you.” Or to hear him say that he was wrong, and that she was right. Waiting for him to tell her to _wait_.

But she stepped out into the cold hallway and he didn’t do any of that. No, he let the door slam behind her. And left her on her own.

Nini floated through the halls like some kind of phantom. She was in her body, yet she was not. The moments that had just passed felt like some kind of dream—no, nightmare, and she was searching for a way to wake up. She pleaded for it. Please, just let her wake up.

Somehow she found a vacant bedroom and stumbled in, shutting yet another door to separate her from Ricky. She peeled her shoes off, tugged at her bun. Her scalp was sore, the pain unhelpful in distracting her from this ache in her chest. She removed her gear and the cargo pants she wore on her reconnaissance.

Finally free of everything that made her a spider, Nini collapsed onto the bed. Brought a hand to clamp over her mouth to suppress her sobs.

And shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

She’s seen the spider do this a million times, yet somehow she could never make her footsteps quite as silent.

One thing Mia was good at, however, was staying in the shadows. So she sprinted. All the way from the south side of the city back to that old bread factory.

She burst through the doors, out of breath demanding to know where the Spade leader was. The poor boy she screamed at informed her he was in his office, and probably didn’t want to be bothered at the moment. But Mia didn’t care. He _needed_ to know.

As she ran through the halls, Mia fantasized. EJ patting her on the back, telling her _Good work_. Nini becoming a Spade again, and working with her so she could complete her training and become another spider. She imagined the buildings she would scale, and Spades telling her how valued she is as a member of this gang.

Her dreams were so vivid that she forgot to knock. Mia barged into his office. The Spade leader looked up from the work on his desk, to find this small, thirteen year old her, gasping for air in his door way.

“Can I…help you?” He asked.

“It’s Nini.” She said. EJ’s expression shifted. “I just spotted her in the south part of the city. Circling the Romano building. I think she was doing some kind of reconnaissance.”

“What’s your name?” He asked, standing from his chair.

“Mia.” She smiled weakly.

“Mia, Please alert Gina and the others.”

“Yes, sir.” She started heading back out.

“And Mia?” EJ called.

“Sir?”

“Good work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does it make me evil that writing that scene was the most fun i've ever had?
> 
> yes, things just took a turn. what will happen to them next? hell if I know. (oh wait. I do)
> 
> I'm estimating that this fic will be like 13-14 chapters, so we will be approaching the end soon
> 
> also lol i literally just figured out how to do that line break thingy what a crazy world we live in
> 
> also also, i reread this fic the other day and wow. you would think english is my second language based on the amount of typos I make. i swear it's not, i'm just a really messy typer
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed reading this, and please let me know what you think in the comments!


	10. a spider made of stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time to see!  
> 1\. Yes, I know it has been very, very long since I last updated. But like I warned yall in my last update, the updates are going to be even more infrequent. I actually start school tomorrow (which is just...lets not talk about that) and i'm going to be a junior, so you can just imagine how swamped I'll be. Hopefully, tho, I can keep my motivation going and finish this story! yay!  
> 2\. To make up for this long wait yall have had, i'm treating you guys with a jam packed, juicy chapter (you're welcome)  
> 3\. There's a scene in here that was inspired by Crooked Kingdom, so Inej lovers, let me know if you know what I'm talking aabout!  
> 4\. And as always, please, please, pretty please check out this pinterest board I made for this story. It shows the aesthetic, and I update it for each update so it correlates with the story!
> 
> Here's the link: https://www.pinterest.com/ultraviolet289/spider-stone/
> 
> Enjoy!

_I pity you_.

The mid afternoon sunlight filtered through the window, the vibrance of the blue sky seeming to mock Ricky where he lay. His shirt was twisted halfway up his torso, his mouth dry yet sticky and uncomfortable.

_You’re a coward._

The blanket was pulled up all the way to his neck. He had missed all of his meetings that morning. And the day before. And the day before that. He couldn’t bother. Ricky had run out of the tape and glue that pieced together his stone Ace leader facade, and he couldn’t stand to face anyone. And quite frankly, he couldn’t care less about the endless meetings. Big Red took care of everything because of course he did.

_You’re still a scared little boy._

Big Red told everyone he was sick. Ricky had never been sick a day in his life, so whether or not people believed it, he also didn’t care. He knew because Red had come to check up on him. He would do so every couple of hours. And there Ricky would be, in bed, staring out that stupid window.

_I love you._

The pillow still smelled like her. So many times he wanted to reach over and find her there, sleeping peacefully next to him. But every time, his arm would meet the cold sheets. Why should he get out of bed. Why should he brush his teeth or get dressed or just run a freakin comb through his hair or eat. Why should he do any of it when he had said those things to her.

Nini was right. About all of it. Every single word that left her mouth was absolutely, unequivocally true. He was just a fragile boy who was too scared of life to actually live it. He was a hypocrite, a _coward._ And now he had ruined possibly the best thing in his life.

_I love you, Ricky._

He had panicked. It was like his body’s biological reaction to her words. He was terrified so he did what he does best. He put on a mask. And this time, he had put on a mask of anger.

Of course he loved her. He loved her more than anything in his entire life, more than his own life. She was Nini. Not the girl he liked. Not some hook up or random gang member.

She was Nini, the girl he loved.

And he had made her believe he didn’t.

She asked him. She asked him _out loud_ if he would ever love her, and he had said _nothing_.

It’s a rare thing, Ricky realized. To see the _exact_ moment someone gets their heart ripped out. There’s a certain way that they crumple up like tinfoil. It’s a look in their eyes, a light going out. And Ricky had done it to Nini. With his own bare hands.

_Not even me?_ She had asked. Ricky had glued his mouth shut, because he knew without a doubt that if he spoke he would not be able to lie to her.

He spent months helping to put her back together, spent months falling and falling in love. And in one night, it had all crumbled down. And it was his fault.

Ricky shut his eyes from the comically blue sky and green trees. He wished for the darkness to simply swallow him up, keep him there forever. For now, he would settle for a blanket over his head.

But soon he heard the muffled sound of his door creaking open. Boots making their way over to the side of his bed. He heard Red sigh, and the blanket was ripped away. The light was blinding, and the seventy seven degrees the thermostat was set too was comparable to an arctic tundra. Ricky groaned and shoved his face into the pillow.

“Go away,” he said, his voice barely discernible.

“Dude, you have to get up,” Red groaned. “And shower, please.”

“No.” Ricky kicked his foot out like a toddler. “I don’t deserve a shower.”

“C’mon, Ricky.” Big Red Poked him. “At least sit up. You—ugh, you’re gonna get bed sores.”

Ricky turned over. He sat up, the blood draining from his head. It left him a bit dizzy, but he pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms loosely around his legs. He looked up at his friend. “How is she?” He asked quietly.

“Well, she says she’s fine. But I don’t think she is.” Big Red said. “She’s been completing the plans for tonight’s hit. It’s like all she’s been working on.”

Ricky just stared at the space in front of him. Red hesitated a moment, but took a seat on the edge of the bed, getting level with his friend. “Ricky, what happened?”

Ricky looked up at his friend. His childhood friend. They had truly been through hell and back together. Through shitty parents and broken homes. _He loves you just as much and you’re just too much of a coward to confront him about it._

And now here Big Red was, at Ricky’s side for his very first broken heart. “She told me she loved me. And I didn’t say it back.”

If Big Red was surprised, he didn’t show it. “Well…Do you? I mean, do you not actually love her back?”

“Of course I do, Red” He nearly laughed to himself. He hasn’t said that he’s loved anything out loud in nearly a decade. “I love Nini so fucking much.”

“Then why didn’t you say it?”

“I just—I freaked out. And I said things I can’t ever take back.” He felt his eyes burning as he recalled their argument. “I just—I ruined it. _God_.” He put his face in his hands. “I don’t think she can ever forgive me. I mean, _I_ wouldn’t forgive me.”

Big Red scooted just a bit closer. “Have you tried talking to her?” He asked.

“You don’t understand, Red. The things I did…she’s not gonna want anything to do with me.”

“Ricky, look at me.” Ricky dropped his hands from his face. Knowing just how much of a mess he looked like. “You love Nini. That’s _very_ clear. All of us have seen just how much you two are meant for each other.” Ricky started shaking his head but Red pressed on. “I’m telling you this as you’re best friend, yes, you fucked up _big_ time, but you cannot let it break you two apart. You have to at least try to fix this.”

“I don’t know how, Red!” Ricky let out an exasperated breath. “She told me she loved me and I told her to _shut up._ What kind of person does that and comes back from it?”

“Of course it won’t be easy, Rick.” Big Red said. “But—just…everyone is pretty tense and anxious about going south. Let’s all just get through tonight, and tomorrow, when it’s a brand new day, just _try_ to talk to her, okay? Just try. Whatever happens, it will have happened for a reason.”

Ricky bit the inside of his mouth. Red was right. Nini was the best thing to ever happen to him. He _needed_ to at least try and fix his mistakes.

Tomorrow. Ricky told himself. Tomorrow it would all be okay.

* * *

Very early on in her training, Jen had taught Nini how to to become anyone. Anything. If she was going to be the Spade’s spy, she needed to know how to blend in anywhere. And it’s not just about how you look. Anyone can slap on some makeup and play dress up. But only the best spies could transform. How you hold yourself. How you talk. How you turn your head, how you shake someone’s hand. How you react. It was a precision, becoming someone else. And Nini had mastered it.

She had walked around in a number of forms. A beggar, a tourist, a student. One time for a certain job, Jen had made her become a hooker. Nini remembered just how red she turned when she walked into the meeting room, mini skirt and all, to find EJ and Kourtney laughing at her embarrassment and her bejeweled tank top that was a little risqué in the front. But when she had gone out onto the streets, hip swaying, gum chewing Nini could have fooled everyone.

And now, Nini was putting on her best act yet. The concrete Ace hallway was her stage. The buzzing electrical lights were her spotlight. And her spider uniform and gear was nothing but an elaborate costume, for today she would pretend she was okay.

Every single body movement was practiced. The way she pressed her shoulder blades together, so she stood tall. Confident. Each step made on strong, stable legs, not the shaky wobbly ones that had caused her to collapse onto her bed in grief of a love she had lost. Her hands remained still and precise. On her face she had plastered an eternal look of indifference. Any other movement in that area might just trigger her to fall apart and cry.

Nini had told him she loved him. And he told her to shut up.

_Get out_.

She felt a shiver run down her spine, threatening to topple this extravagant house of cards shed had built as her fortress. A part of her knew it was already collapsing in on itself. That it was folding and breaking and crumbling from the inside out. But for now, she would stand just a bit taller and keep walking. As long as she looked ok. She just needed to look fucking ok.

She had this act on for days now, and it was the most exhausting bullshit she’s ever had to go through. So Nini trained. When she wasn’t on the rock wall, she was sparring with Big Red. When she wasn’t sparring, she was at target practice. When she wasn’t at target practice, she would run. She would run until her lungs burned and sweat coated her eyelashes. Until her legs ached, until her body was numb. She would run and run and run around the city, and she would run until she just couldn’t run anymore. And when she wasn’t running, she was planning.

The plans for the Romano hit that he had been working on relentlessly. And the ones he had apparently halted his work on to do who knows what. No one had heard from him in days. And by no one, she meant herself. Nini hadn’t heard from him in days. Not glimpse of the Ace leader. Not one effort to reach out and mend the wounds he had inflicted on her. No messages, no nothing. Just Red coming to lunch everyday telling the group that he was sick, and he would be better tomorrow.

And she guessed he didn’t lie. He had said the same thing yesterday. It was tomorrow now, and Ricky had called for a gang wide meeting in the training room.

Nini thought to flip through the finished plan in her hands just one more time. Make sure everything is in order. Ricky may have kicked her to the curb, but that didn’t mean she would leave the entire gang hanging. Believe it or not, Nini had grown to like the people here, and she would not let them go into a mission unprepared.

Her eyes scanned the plans that she had gone over a million times. Every entrance, every exit. The jump she would make from one building to the other. The faces of each Romano family member. The Lion members suspected to be involved. Her heart stuttered when she got to the contents page. A record of everything they would be stealing. And at the bottom it read, _Diamorphine, Quantity: unknown_.

Quantity: unknown. So she wouldn’t get to know how much she would have to confront? She was sober, and she was staying sober, is what Nini kept telling herself. A broken heart wouldn’t change that.

But then there was that voice at the back of her mind. One she knew all too well. Calling for her. For her to grasp it, to give in. Ricky had been her constant through it all. He was the noise that drowned out that voice. When she thought of her sobriety, she couldn’t help but think of falling in love, of finding her love. But one of those had ended, sudden and brutally.

Did it mean the other had to, too?

She shut the file and took a deep breath. She could do this. Nini was her own person, and she didn’t need to rely on anyone to stay sober. Shaking off those thoughts, she grabbed the door handle to the training room. Ricky was in there. He was in there and she was about to see him again. So Nini straightened her back and cemented her calm expression, fixing up her act once more.

* * *

Most of the Aces had congregated on and around the sparring mat. Many of them sat like school children on a rug, while others stood in the back, rifles and weapons already in hand. Ricky stood at the head of all of it. Flanked by Big Red. He cleaned up as best he could, finally managing to just put on some clothes. His hair was done, his outfit cohesive and ironed. He clasped his hands in front of him, standing as tall as he could.

And he was worried, just for a second, that this familiar facade would come crumbling down once again when the door to the training room opened and she walked through. She looked like she did when he saw her in that alley for the very first time. Dark, gleaming hair in a tight low bun. Perfectly assembled spy attire. Her foot steps were silent as they always were.

But the way she held herself, it was different. Stiffer, more rigid, more like…stone.

Nini held herself as he did.

She kept getting closer, and it appeared like she was making a beeline for _him_. Ricky felt the air leave his lungs, but, like her, he didn’t show it. And even when she was close enough to take in her sweet scent, he resisted the urge to fall to his knees and beg her for forgiveness. To scoop her up into his arms and tell her I love you, I love you, I love you.

_Tomorrow,_ Ricky repeated to himself. _Tomorrow._

“I completed the plans yesterday,” She spoke, holding the file out for him to take. Not a trace of emotion in her voice. The words came out without a tone, without an intention. They simply…were. “Most of it is your work. I finished what you started. It won’t be unfamiliar to you.”

Ricky plucked the file out of her hands and flipped through it. He was amazed at how still his hands worked, even though the love of his life, who he had condemned so viciously, stood just inches away from him. He could barely focus on the contents of the file. He tried harder, and was able to absorb just enough of the information. She was right, It wasn’t unfamiliar to him. Because everything she had done…it was everything he planned to do in the first place.

Ricky shut the file and tucked it under his arm. “Thank you, Roberts.” He tried using her last name. Maybe it would depersonalize her just the slightest. It didn’t. Ricky turned to the rest of the Aces. “Shall we get started?”

As he began speaking to the gang, Nini moved to flank him opposite to Red. God, she was still doing it. Even after all he had said to her, she was still helping him to uphold his image. Still being the pretty little thing on the arm of Ricky Bowen. Fucking hell, he didn’t deserve her.

“Tonight is a big hit. I understand that Red has already given each of you your assignments for tonight?” He turned to his friend who nodded. “Okay, so let’s just go over what’s going to happen tonight.

“The Romanos are making a deal with the Lions in their building in the South. Intel informs us it’s going to be done on the twentieth floor. The lobby entrances are most likely going to be teeming with Lions—armed Lions—so Nini will be creating a distraction from the upper levels. She’ll be setting off three separate explosions which will create a rush of Lions from out of the lobby and into the upper floors. In the mean time, we will be entering the building through the basement entrance in the northern alley.” Ricky motioned with his hands. “We’ll move as a group up the stair case, and at each floor a group will break off and do a sweep, taking down any Lions you see. At the nineteenth floor, we split in half, one group remaining in the west stair case, and the other into the east, so when we reach the twentieth floor, the Romanos will be surrounded. We pack the goods, and then we get out the way we came in.

“I know that this mission seems daunting. But hitting a mafia family _as well_ as the Lions will consolidate our power in the city. Many of you will be hurt. A few of you might die if we aren’t careful. But we _must_ work together on this. Any inconsistencies within the group could topple the entire plan. Watch each other’s backs. Make sure those around you are safe.” Ricky looked out at the faces staring back at him. Some were terrified, others had downed a noble expression, as if they were preparing for battle. “We leave at sundown. Be ready by then. You are all dismissed.”

Some chatter filled the room as Aces got up to leave. They kept their conversations light, meaningless. Distracting from the terrifying mission ahead of them. Only then did Ricky allow himself to take a breath, for the facade was tiring him out.

Out of the corner of his eye he could spot Nini walking away. He knew that they would talk tomorrow, but he needed to say something to her. Anything. “Nini, wait.”

She turned around at his call. If she was surprised, she didn’t show it. If she was upset, she didn’t show it. If she was angry, or annoyed, or heart broken, Nini didn’t show it. Her face remained indifferent, uncaring as she approached him and said, “Sir?”

Ricky recoiled at the formality. Is this was it came to? Is this what he had caused? Months of falling in love, reduced to the word “sir.” Ricky clenched his hand into a fist. “I,” he was talking to her, stay calm, stay fucking calm, “I wanted to make sure you’re okay with tonight? With the whole drug bust and everything.”

“I’m sure I can handle it, sir.”

“Nini,” Ricky said, slightly bewildered. He didn’t mind letting his walls come down just bit as everyone was filing out, leaving them and possibly Red lingering by the door. “Please, don’t do that.”

“Do you want me to stop saying it?” She said, her face remained stone.

The words bit into him. _God, please shut up and stop saying it._ He had said that to her. He had said that to her after she told him she loved him.

“God, no, Nini, that’s not what I meant.” For the first time, Ricky was scrambling for something to say. He was helpless, desperate. Nini just stared back at him blankly. “I just want to make sure you’ll be okay.” Ricky found himself saying.

“I will be.” Nini said. And though she was expressionless, she seemed to be waiting for something. Waiting for him to _do_ something. But when he couldn’t speak, when he hesitated, trying to find the words, she began to turn around to leave.

He panicked. So he grabbed her hand. “Wait.”

Nini stopped at the sudden contact. She turned back around slowly, her eyes darting to where their bodies connected. Fuck, it felt so good just to touch her again, to be this close to her. To feel the warmth in her skin he had been reaching for in those hours he lay alone in bed. But Nini’s hand didn’t hold his back. It remained limp in his fingers, and she stared at it like her hand was nothing but a phantom limb. Like it was just some _thing_ that he had grabbed.

“Can we talk tomorrow?” He asked, trying to make contact with her eyes, for she still would not look up at him. “After all of this is over, I…I have so much I need to say to you.” Ricky shifted closer to her. “Please?”

Nini took her hand back gently. In the absence of her touch, Ricky’s hand felt oddly naked, bare. Like her hand was meant to be joined with his and now that it wasn’t, it was all wrong. She slowly met is stare, and she searched. Searched his face, his eyes. Like she was trying to look into him, past the glue and tape. “Ok.” Nini said, her voice wavering so slightly that Ricky didn’t know if he truly heard it. If they were alone, he might have just broken down right then and started sobbing. He would have dropped down in front of her just to thank her and God for this “ok.”

But Nini remained like a statue carved of marble. Perfect, yet cold, blank. She straightened her already perfect posture. He saw her fingers clench tight. A muscle in her face tightened, and this time, when she turned, Ricky let her walk away.

* * *

If it were not for all of her running, Nini was sure her legs would’ve been screaming as she broke open the door to the roof after that _twenty five_ story climb up the stairs she had just embarked on. The building next to the Romano’s was a hotel, so Nini had dawned a plain black suit case, headphones, and strutted through the lobby. She broke a few locks here and there, and she was able to get up to the roof without suspicion.

Nini took a deep breath, inhaling that oddly fresh city air you only get when you’re high above everything. No longer a biting cold, the air was refreshing, soothing. Nini let herself have just a moment to look at the lights and the bluish clouds scattered in the sky. The vast blackness that loomed above. Once upon a time, she would have wished Ricky to be here, if it were not for the memory of him so extremely repulsed by her proclamation of love.

If only life could be just as easy as it was that night at the parking garage.

So he wanted to talk to her. Tomorrow. What could he possibly have to say to her? He made his feelings excruciatingly clear that night. He would never, ever, ever, _ever_ love her back, so what was it? To apologize? Nini had scoffed at the thought. If he really wanted to apologize, he should have done it days ago, not let her roam around with a shattered heart. Not let her pretend she’s okay when she isn’t and she’s dying on the inside. And if he really didn’t mean those things, if the words he spat at her were all lies, then he shouldn’t have said any of it.

It’s not just something he can take back.

But the painful truth was, Nini wished he could all just take it back. She couldn’t help but still love him. She still loved him with everything that she was. Every fiber, every cell in her body was in love with Ricky Bowen. Her heart belonged to that boy, and she hated it. She wished there was a switch, a button. She wished she could just turn the love off and it would be like none of it ever happened. If she could forget about all of it—about him, she would.

Instead Nini reach up to her ear piece and pressed the real, plastic button there and muttered into it, “I’ve reached the roof. Making the jump in T minus one minute. Everything is clear. Move into the basement.”

Quiet white noise played back for just a moment until she heard his voice from the other side. “Copy.”

Nini approached the edge of the roof where there was a slight elevation wrapping around the perimeter. She stared down the side of the building, into the dark alley below. To anyone else, the view would induce a crippling vertigo, but Nini shoved down any fear and blew air out of her mouth. She couldn’t slip. She wouldn’t.

Turning her back to the drop, Nini shook out her hands. Five paces back, that’s all she needed to make this jump. A running start of five steps, and she would fly over the edge, her legs slicing through cool air and nothing else. The spider breathed in deeply through her nose, centering herself one last time before pivoting on her toes and launching into a run.

Her legs propelled her, faster and faster, the edge getting closer every millisecond. The jump becoming even more real, the risk becoming something tangible. Nini gritted her teeth down on the fear as she took her last bound and—

Nini felt a sharp tug in the lower back of her head as she was yanked down onto the concrete, her bun becoming undone and her hair falling apart into a mess of waves. Her skull hit the ground hard, white hot pain expanding and expanding in her head. A cry escaped her lips before she found herself overwhelmingly disoriented, foggy. Blinking her eyes open, all she could see were stars. Stars and spots and weird colors in weird places. And in the midst of all that, Nini saw a shining white grin looming above her.

“Itsy…bitsy…spider…” a female voice crooned. Her voice was rough, yet oddly melodic. Nini kept blinking, her eyebrows creasing together as she tried to get the world back into focus. “you’re a little far from the water spout, aren’t ya?”

_What the fuck?_ Her vision was slowly starting to clarify, in time for Nini to see something silver and shiny in the female’s hand. Her arm raised, and she let out a cackle before bringing it down towards Nini’s eye.

Nini reacted in a split second. Before the blade could reach her, she rolled out from under the mystery girl, scrambling to her feet some feet away. She brought a palm to her temple, straightening out her jaw. It still felt like knives were spearing through her brain, but she laid her eyes on the woman in front of her.

In the moonlight, her hair was so blonde it was nearly white. She was clad in a leather jacket and ripped clothing, tattoos and chains decorating her body. The dagger in her red-polished hand was stabbed right where Nini’s head had been just second ago, and when she wrenched it from the ground, Nini finally got a good look at a particular tattoo on her neck. A paw of some sort with long, sharp claws on the end.

She was the Lioness.

Nini unsheathed a dagger from each of the holsters on her thighs, spinning them nimbly in her fingers before holding them at ready at her sides. The Lioness clearly knew who Nini was with her little taunting, so she must’ve known killing her wouldn’t have been _that_ easy. “What do you want?”

“What do I want?” The Lioness threw her head back in laughter. “You’re the one trespassing, little spider.” She took a small step closer. “And we kill annoying little bugs like you.”

Nini shrugged and nodded, her head still throbbing just slightly. “Good point.”

And that’s when Nini surged forward, right arm swinging out to slice into the Lioness’s stomach. But it wasn’t that easy. Because of fucking course it wasn’t that easy. The Lioness took a step back, chest caving in to avoid Nini’s blade. In retaliation, she swiped at Nini’s head, which was consequently thrown back with her back arched to dodge the dagger completely. The Lioness launched forward again, knife stabbing towards Nini’s neck, but the girl brought her wrist up to block the blow. Quickly, Nini brought her foot up to kick the Lioness in her abdomen. She let out a grunt, stumbling back a few steps, head dropping down.

When she looked back up, she was smiling.

The Lioness attacked again. And again. And so did Nini. Blow after blow was matched. Nini compared it to sparring with Ricky with their skill set so equal, except with this girl, she was just as small, just as quick and graceful. Nini’s eye occasionally caught the glint of the daggers in the moonlight as they swiped around, sliced through the air. She was beginning to tire when she heard a small white noise in her ear and then a voice.

“Roberts, what’s your status?”

The Lioness brought her blade down towards Nini’s head. She ducked out of the way quickly before holding a hand up to one ear and blocking a blow with the other. “Just—a—minor—” Nini gritted her teeth and spun around the Lioness to avoid a stab. “—inconvenience.”

“Are you okay?” His voice coming through sounded concerned. Oh, look at that. He does have a heart.

“Who’s whispering in your ear, little spider?” The Lioness tilted her head to the side as they were locked in a position, Nini in defense, pushing against the Lioness’s arm. “Ah! Is it your lover boy?”

Nini’s eyes widened, her shocked face mixing with confusion. The lioness only just grinned for ear to ear, breathing out a chuckle. “He’s—he’s no one—How do you know?” She asked. The Lioness shoved her backward, In the midst of her shock, Nini was unprepared. Unprepared as the Lioness swiped her dagger towards her face.

Nini felt the cold metal slice through the fleshy part of her cheekbone. She winced, bringing a finger up to her face. Something warm and wet coated her fingers. Nini shook her hand off, the blood splattering onto the concrete. “Lion bitch.” She spat.

Nini searched in her mind to find the answer. How could the _Lions,_ of all gangs, know about her and Ricky? Did they have spies? Nini’s heart dropped into a pit in her stomach. Oh god, did they know about the heist? Panic flooded her body as she thought about the dozens of Aces, her friends, _Ricky,_ trapped in the basement. In a basement, in Lion territory, under the building of the fucking Romano mob family.

Oh, fuck.

“A little birdie might have told me…” The Lioness inspected the blood—Nini’s blood—that dripped from her blade. She wiped it off on her sleeve, swiping it through the crease of her elbow. She looked at her blade again, admiring it as it was shiny and clean once again. “Or a flock of them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nini.”

Nini’s face fell at the familiar voice. The Lioness only smiled even more.

Nini turned around slowly. No. No, no, no, _no._ He couldn’t be here. Because that would mean the rest of them were here, and three gangs plus a mob family in one territory was a recipe for a bloodbath. But then Nini’s gaze met green eyes and raven hair. A dark gray suit and a soft expression. His face was almost…hopeful.

“EJ, what are you doing here?” She asked, disbelief coating her voice.

“We came to save you—to take you back.” He said, stepping forward. There were two figures flanking him. Gina and Seb. They had the same expression as he did. Gina stepped forward. “Nins, we’re taking you home.”

“How did you know I would be here?” Nini forgot about the very much armed Lioness behind her.

“Our spies spotted you here. Actually, it was one of the rookies, can you believe that?” He breathed out a laugh. He walked to her, taking her hands in his, daggers and all. They stuck out awkwardly to the sides. “Nini, we’ve been looking for you everywhere. I’m so happy you’re okay.”

“Egh,” The Lioness suddenly appeared at Nini’s side. “You guys are gross.”

EJ sighed and dropped Nini’s hands. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a wad of cash, sticking it into the Lioness’s outstretched hand. “Thank you, Leslie. A little overkill on the fighting, though. You just had to stop her from jumping.”

The Lioness rolled her eyes at her revealed name. “What’s the fun in that?” Nini just looked at them in disbelief. The Lioness— _Leslie_ —turned towards her, getting close. She smelled like cigarette smoke and—and death. She brought her fingers to Nini’s face, her sharp nails grazing her cheek, stroking just below the gash. Nini jerked away from her touch. Leslie’s fingers just hovered there. “Such a pretty face…” was all she muttered before dropping her arm, and walking away. Disappearing into the night.

Nini shook her head, looking back at EJ. “Wait—you were working with her?”

“Well, when we found you scoping out Lion territory, we figured we’d make a little alliance with the Lions. Turns out we’re not the only ones who hate Ricky Bowen and the Aces. Anyway, they told us about Marco Romano, so we put two and two together and—”

“They know about our plans?!”

“Well…yeah. That’s why this is so perfect. They get caught, and we save you.” EJ said like it was an obvious fact.

Nini backed away a step from him. Her hands trembled. A shockwave of panic washed through her. No, they were cornered. Ricky, everyone. They would be slaughtered— _no._

Nini brought her hand to her earpiece. “Get out of there, Ricky. Get everyone out.” She would not lose these people.

“What?”

“ _They know._ The Lions—they know you’re down there. It’s the Spades—just get out of there. _Get everyone out!_ ” Nini cried.

She felt a hand grasp her wrist and yank it away from the button. Her head snapped to EJ, who looked at her with total confusion. “Nini, what the hell are you doing?”

“EJ, those are people down there! Some of them are fucking teenagers. My _friends.”_ She shouted at him.

“Your _friends?!”_ He asked, a hint of anger in his voice. “Those are Aces, they deserve what’s coming to them.”

She took her hand back from him. “ _No one_ deserves to die, you dick. And yes, my friends. They might be Aces, but they are _good_ people.” She started bringing her hand back up to her earpiece. “Oh God, I have to tell Ricky to—”

EJ grabbed her hand once again, so tight that her skin was burning. “Are you kidding me? _Bowen_? You can’t possibly care for him. What—what happened to you, Nini? _What did they do to you?”_

“Don’t touch me!” She tried to pull her hand back, but his grip on her was like steel. She strained, trying and trying. “EJ, let go!”

“Oh my god,” He looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. He shook his head. “I can’t—they—he brainwashed you. He—he made you loyal to him, obedient, and—and” His hold on her was relentless. “Nini, we are going to fix this, okay? We are going to fix you—”

Nini reach her other hand up, wrapping around her face to reach her ear. “Ricky? Are you okay? Is everyone okay? _You need to go_.”

“I’m try—ing, darling, they’re—rywhere—c-can’t…no— _move!_ —too many-y—” He kept cutting in and out, his struggle becoming evident in each word. Nini felt stinging in the back of her eyes. If they all died, it would be her fault. Their blood would be on her hands and she couldn’t lose them, she couldn’t lose him—

EJ ripped the earpiece from her ear, and she shouted. She launched at him, attacking him throwing away all technique and skill. She jumped on him and thrashed and thrashed, She needed that earpiece. That was the _only_ way she could make sure they were okay. It was the only way to communicate with him.

“Nini, we are trying to help you!” She heard Seb’s voice. But she kept clawing at EJ, shrieking, trying to get that little piece of plastic back.

“ _Give it back!”_ Nini screamed Her voice was becoming hoarse. Her tears had fallen and sobs were bubbling up from her throat. “EJ, you give it back right now! I swear, you give it back or I’m going to _fucking kill you!”_ Her sobs came out now in full. Oh god, they were dead and it was her fault her fault her fault. She pictured her friends with bullets ripping through their skin. Carlos falling while helping the rookies—some of them were fucking _teenagers_. Red and Ashlyn’s hands linked as they lay dead in that basement. And Ricky. Ricky at the head of it all—protecting his people until his dying breath. Nini kept shrieking at EJ. “ _I’m gonna kill you!”_ But he was strong. It was like his body was made of pure metal, and her earpiece was melded to his fingers. No matter how much she tore at it, he wouldn’t budge.

Gina’s slightly panicked voice emerged from the background. “You aren’t well, Nini. You need to come home.”

“ _I’m gonna kill all of you!”_ She shrieked. “ _Everyone—I’m going to rip you to fucking pieces—give it back!”_

Somehow, sometime during her screaming, EJ must have signaled the Spades because Nini felt several hands grabbing at her back, her waist, her shoulders. And though it may not have helped her case of being sane, Nini’s hysterical shrieking only grew louder as she was pried off the Spade leader. Hands were everywhere on her, even as she thrashed around. She was stripped of her weapons. Hands going up her shirt—her pants, too—to find any hidden blades. Nini felt grossly violated so she kicked her legs even harder, yanked her arms even more. Her hair was a tangled mop, obstructing her vision of the several faces of Spade agents surrounded her.

It couldn’t end like this. How could she return to her former gang when they were killing her friends? When they were killing the person she loved? Everyone was going to die, and all she could do was kick her legs against her captors. Her sobs mixed with her screaming. Her chest burned from the crying, and her throat had become raw. But she kept it going. Even as they bound her and carried her thrashing body down from the roof.

And with each step down that staircase, the weaker she became, The quieter her screams got. And as it became evident that escape was impossible—that her friends were probably all dead and lying at the bottom of that horrible, horrible building, Nini began her very own descent. A descent into a pit that had cracked open inside of her. She crawled into it, burrowed deep, down, down, down, until there was nothing but herself. Silence. And a vast sea of blackness.

She didn’t know if she’d be able to climb out this time. If she’d be able to crawl back up like a spider on a wall, and find the beauty that was always waiting for her.

And Nini didn’t care. There was no more of it in this god forsaken world anyway.

Her limbs stilled, her screaming stop. And maybe it was when they were loading her into a van that Nini passed out.


	11. castle of cards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know when you do that thing where you try and fix something but like, it keeps getting worse and worse?
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the long wait. school has been HECTIC. I lost my motivation to write for a little bit, so sorry if there are a bunch of typos. I'm exhausted, and I wanted to get this chapter out. Sorry if my writing has gone a little down hill, but I hope you guys enjoy!

Why did she own so much soap?

One for her body and a different one for her hair and then her face. A variable array of face lotions and creams and gels. Serums, treatments, masks. Her eyes flitted to a bright pink container of clay mask on the small shelf next to her mirror. It looked like it belonged to a girl who listened to music and danced in her room alone. A girl who had late night girl talks and drank with her friends. It belonged to a girl who painted her nails to match her mood, usually blue or purple. A girl who cared if she had a pimple and wanted glowing, clear skin.

Nini didn’t know a girl like that. Not anymore.

The girl that stared back at her was a ghost. The circles under her eyes made her look like the living dead, her face was sallow and pale. The cut on her cheek was held together with two small pieces of medical tape, the skin around it different shades of yellow and purple. Someone had tried to clean the cut, but there were still bits of congealed blood. Her hair had grown so long. She didn’t realize how much. Her lips were dry, no longer pink.

She splashed cold water on her face and left the bathroom.

Nini tucked her legs to her chest, her movements wrinkling the sheets of her made bed just slightly. This morning’s tray of food still sat at the door. Cold pancakes, room temperature orange juice, and a banana that looked like a perfect fucking banana. It was left untouched like yesterday’s meals. And the day before that. And the day before that. Someone would come in every couple of hours to change it. Nini didn’t know why they bothered. She almost never left this spot.

She had already looked around the room the other day. Pictures and polaroids of that girl she did not know. Smiling with her friends. A blonde boy squeezed her face in his hands while another darker haired girl kissed her sloppily on the cheek. An additional girl had dove into the picture last minute. Her face was blurry, but her bright smile still shown through nonetheless, highlighted, wild hair almost taking over the photo.

And her desk was littered with papers she knew nothing about. Nini didn’t bother look at them. But they were left there, strewn about like no one had come in and dare touch anything. Above the little white desk used to sit a rack attached to the wall, decorated with rows and rows of knives and daggers and blades. Now all that was left was chipped paint and dry wall where the screws at been ripped out, scratches where the metal rack had rubbed against the wall. It was there when Nini first arrived, but when EJ came in with breakfast, acting sweet, making sure she was okay, they took it down.

Nini couldn’t blame them. She _had_ tried to stab EJ in the stomach.

She pinched the skin on her wrist. It stung hard, but she pinched harder. Maybe in a different time it would have brought tears to her eyes, and she would have winced, let go, and rubbed the spot. But Nini felt nothing, so she pinched harder and harder, the capillaries bursting. Nini only cared enough to look down for a second. Bright pink and purple blooming when she finally released her skin.

It was like she was back at the beginning, all those months ago. Locked in a room, alone. Enemies on the other side of the door.

But this time she wasn’t planning and plotting her escape, desperate to get back to her people, her family. No, the only people she cared about were probably dead. And the ones that still did care about her were dead to her anyway.

Days. Weeks. Nini wasn’t sure how long she had sat in her room, but however long, the pain still felt fresh. How many Aces had died because of her? How many of her friends? And, oh god, what had Ricky wanted to say to her? What did he want to tell her that she might never hear? Since her little…incident with EJ, no one had dared tried to talk to her.

Until today.

Nini admired his bravery quite honestly. Considering the last time he had knocked on that door she tried to kill him, she respected him for taking the risk. He took her silent response as an indication to enter to room. EJ stepped over her untouched tray, sighing as he leaned against the desk at the other side of the room.

“You should eat, Nini.” He said crossing his arms.

“I’m not hungry,” She spoke indifferently.

“You haven’t touched your food all week—”

Nini spoke over him, their voices overlapping keeping her uncaring tone, “I said I’m not hungry.”

“—and you really spent yourself that—“

“I don’t want to eat.”

“—night. You should just take a bite—“

“I’m not _fucking_ hungry, EJ” Her voice raised just the slightest.

He bit the inside of his mouth, just sneaking a quick glance at her and contemplated a moment before taking the chair from the desk and setting it to face Nini on the bed. She observed the distance he placed the chair at just for a second. The Nini a week ago might have laughed, but she felt like doing no such thing. Spade leader, too afraid to get close to the crazy girl.

EJ opened his mouth to speak, but Nini had a question of her own. “How many?”

“What?” He was puzzled.

“How many died? Do you know?”

He shook his head slightly, like her bringing up her friends’ possible murders was an inconvenience. A waste of time. “I’m not sure. Our spies scouted the area the day after. They saw bodies being taken out…but we didn’t get a number.”

_Bodies_. Nini started nodding, taking in the information. _Bodies. Bodies. Bodies._ But whose? Who had died? It didn’t matter. None of them deserved it. She tried, oh she tried to to hold it back but tears sprung in her eyes. She bit down as hard as she could on her lip, clenching her mouth tight, but she felt her face break nonetheless.

EJ sat down and leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. He looked up at her with concern—or was it desperation? “Nini, what happened when you were with the Aces?”

_Why are you loyal to them?_ Is what he really meant. _How are they your friends? How can you possibly stand Ricky Bowen? Why do you grieve our enemies?_

“What do you mean ‘what happened?’” Nini decided on. “They took me as part of the deal, and I worked for them as a spy.”

EJ sighed, clenching his jaw in slight frustration and he tried again. “Nini, please, I just want to help you. What did they do to make you…to make you _theirs_?” He shook his head, shutting his mouth, trying and trying to figure out how to handle this. “just—how about you tell me what your experience was—with the Aces. Just tell me about your time there.”

A burning hot tear teetered on her lash line, blurring EJ’s face into a twisted, bent version of him. He didn’t look like himself like this. The tear fell and when his face came into focus Nini still could not recognize him.

What the hell did she owe him? Certainly not an explanation. Not when he had treated her like a mental patient, and not his friend. His family.

“Please?” He begged, and Nini saw it. She saw _him._ Her brother that wasn’t who just wanted to help her. And though he had gone about it completely and utterly wrong, he did just want to help her. So, as Nini let her tears dry, she thought to herself. Maybe, just maybe she could make him understand. Understand that not all Aces were bad and for one goddamn minute he could stop hating so blindly.

So she started telling him. How she tried to escape so many times she had to stay in his room. And she told him about the drug hit and the withdrawal. How Ricky helped her quit instead of doing what was best for him and his gang. She told him about the movie nights and the walks to the coffee shop. How they would train together, and she would beat Ricky most of the time. She told him about Red, and that Ashlyn was doing well and that she misses him. Because maybe that would trigger some type of empathy in him.

And she told him about how amazing it was to go on a job again, but being able to do it during her sobriety. To know, as she climbed walls and somersaulted this way and that, that she was finally, _finally_ herself, and only herself, and she didn’t need to get high to just feel _good_.

And Nini contemplated, just for a second, if she should tell him about that night in Ricky’s office when she told him she loved him. Because maybe EJ knowing it was love would resolve this whole problem. But the Ricky in that memory…well he might have been the monster EJ thought he was.

When she was done speaking, Nini stared at him. Had she done it? Was he convinced? EJ had a hand gripping the side of his face. He was…thinking. Thinking so much that it was like Nini wasn’t even in the room. Was he trying to accept her words? Was he coming to terms with the fact that the Aces aren’t bad?

But then he looked back up at Nini, disbelief in his face, and she knew that she had failed.

“Nini, don’t you see? It’s so _obvious_ ” His hand was raised in front of him, like he had just arranged her words into a puzzle.

“What?”

“Your withdrawal. He used your withdrawal to make you rely on him. To—to make you _think_ you needed him…”

Oh how she had failed. “EJ, _no—”_

He nearly laughed to himself. “It all makes sense! He kept you to himself in his room, and _used_ your vulnerability against you! Nini, you _never_ liked him, he just made you _think_ you did”

Nini felt suffocated by her frustration. _Why couldn’t he understand?_ She wanted to reach out and strangle him—to take him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him. He sat in front of her like a lunatic, a crazed smile on his face like he had just solved the mystery of her. EJ scooted his chair closer. “Nini, this is good. Now we know how he did it, and we can help you get better—“

“EJ I don’t need to get _fucking_ better!” Her hands balled into fists. “And I’m not crazy, and I’m not brainwashed! I am sober and I was fucking _happy_ for the first time in my life!”

He shook his head at her. “No, Nini, this is my point—you just _think_ that—“

Maybe in another time she would have believed him. But this pain, this grief that had overcome her life. She knew what she felt was real. It was all real and there wasn’t anything, no button, no switch, that could make her forget she had ever felt any of it. “ _I loved him!”_ Nini shouted at EJ’s face. The words smacked at his head, shutting him up finally. His mouth gaped open like a fucking trout.

“I _loved_ Ricky Bowen, EJ. And—and” she took a deep breath, coming down from her burst of anger. “ _you_ can’t accept that it was someone else who helped me. That it was someone you hate.” Nini shook her head. “Ever since I joined the Spades, it was like I was your and Jen’s little project. A-a little trophy you guys liked to polish and _show off._ ” He looked hurt by her words. She scooted forward on the bed. “I know you want what’s best for me, EJ, and I know you love me, but there are other people out there who want the same for me, and want to help me…Ricky Bowen was—is one of them.”

She prayed to whatever the fuck was up there that her words had done something as she searched his face. He looked dumbfounded, and a little wounded. _Please_ , she begged. But he started to shake his head.

Before he could make his rebuttal, Nini clung onto that small ember of hope within her, and blurted out her last resort. “I took him to the garage. I showed him the view.”

And this, EJ reacted to. It was the last thing she could think of. Because before Ricky, the only other person she had brought there, was EJ.

“You showed him the view?” EJ’s voice was quiet. He sounded almost like a whimpering puppy.

“I did. I took him there, and I told him about everything. He knows…everything.” Nini said, swallowing hard. _Please work_.

He scrubbed at his face. Nini could barely stand the anticipation. She had tried everything, literally every possible way to convince him. If this didn’t work…she might just be stuck like this forever.

EJ stood up from his chair, hand still scratching at his face. He turned from her. Nini held her breath, eyes flitting to his hands when he balled them at his sides, and turned back around. “I can’t fucking believe you, Nini.”

“Excuse me?”

“How could you do this to the Spades, huh?” His voiced started to raise, and Nini almost fell apart right there. _All for nothing, for nothing—_

_“_ To your friends? To me? How could you turn on all of us for an _Ace_?” EJ spat at her.

“I was there because of the deal! How would my life be if I just hated everyone around me? They are _good_ people, EJ. You don’t even know them!”

“I do know them—they are _Aces._ There are no good Aces, Nini. That is a _fact._ ” EJ was nearly red with anger. “You—you are a _traitor.”_

Nini scrambled off the bed to stand tall in front of him. “Loving someone does _not_ make me a traitor. Having an ounce of fucking empathy does not make me a traitor.” She recalled the words Ricky had once whispered to her. When he held her close and she could feel his breath on her face as he gave her these words of comfort.

His anger had transformed his face. His eyes were alight with rage. “You loved him?” EJ scoffed. “Did you let him fuck you, too?”

Nini was still for a moment. Just for a moment her body went still and she could hear her heartbeat in her head. She could feel the blood in her veins and the ground shaking beneath her. And then she snapped.

Just like that night, she launched at him. From her sleeve she pulled out her toothbrush that she had sharpened against the bathroom counter, and she held it to his neck. “ _Get. Out.”_ Nini growled, her voice almost animalistic. “ _Get the fuck out before I kill you.”_

EJ’s own face looked wild. Still angry, even angrier from her attack. Unlike that night, however, he fought back against her, shoving her off of him so hard, that if it wasn’t for the bed cushioning her fall, Nini probably would have cracked her skull open on the floor. The toothbrush-shiv fell from her fingers.

As she recovered herself, EJ was already storming away, ripping the door open before she heard him mutter two little words. “Ace slut.”

He slammed it shut, shaking the walls. She heard the _click_ of a lock. Good, she didn’t want to go out and see his fucking face anyway. Nini’s chest was heaving in the midst of the new silence that over came her. Until she reached for the lamp on the night stand, screaming as she hurled it at the closed door.

The ceramic shards littered the floor. She looked at the pieces. Their jagged, sharp edges. Why was it that she was always surrounded by blades? By sharp, cold weapons, made to kill, kill kill. So much death, so much tragedy. Too much. Why did it follow her everywhere? Why couldn’t she get away from it for _once_?

Stumbling back a few steps, falling into a seated position on the edge of her bed. Nini brought her hands to her face, and started to weep.

* * *

Later she laid on her side on the bed. Her tears have ceased to fall, but her eyes felt puffy and her lungs felt heavy and tight. She was sick of this. Sick of the crying and the yelling. Sick of people thinking she was crazy or that they needed to fix her. Nini just wanted some peace, or some comfort. Someone to make everything okay and tell her she wasn’t a bad person or a traitor. She wanted…Ricky.

It had dawned on her sometime while laying there that this was the longest she’d been apart from him in _months,_ and the separation was already becoming unbearable. Nini had spent so much time being sad and devastated and all these extremes that she forgot to just…miss Ricky. She missed his voice and his stupid, dumb face. That one blue-gray suit that looked especially good on him. She missed using his shampoo and getting kissed on the cheek and not having to order hot chocolate because he would do it for her. Nini spent so much time thinking about that night that she had forgotten to miss…her boyfriend.

And now that piece of her had been ripped away and it felt like she was naked and bare in the world and she _missed_ him. And…what if this was it? What if he had died and it would just feel like this forever? Nini stared at the wall.

Not long after that quite pleasant revelation, she saw light moving on her wall. A sliver of light from the hall expanding and expanding until two shadows passed through it. She recognized them even from their warped shapes that Gina and Kourtney had just walked in. And if were were not for the shadows, Nini felt the bed dip as one of them sat on the corner. Nini didn’t bother turning around.

“Neens?” Gina said, clearly a little unsure of how to approach this. “Do you want to talk?”

Nini stayed silent. She could imagine so clearly in her head the two girls looking at each other, trying to figure out what to do.

“Honey, are you feeling okay?” Kourtney tried.

“Why do you care. I’m just some Ace slut.” Nini remained facing the wall.

Kourtney tsked. “No you are _not._ EJ’s just a little…he brain doesn’t work right when it comes to you.” Nini felt her shift closer on the bed. “He didn’t mean it.”

“Yes. He did.”

The two girls didn’t have anything to say about that. But Nini knew her two friends. They were really just trying to check up on her. Nini sat up, turning around on the bed. Gina and Kourtney shifted, so unsure of what she might do.

“Nini,” Kourtney finally spoke up. “He’s just hurt that you turned to the Aces.”

“Are you really trying to justify him? After he took me against my will?”

“He was trying to protect you!” Gina justified, raising her voice just slightly. Kourtney glared at her in warning. She took a deep breath. “He loves you, you know that.”

“Well he has a funny way of showing it.” Nini played with her fingers. “He sabotaged our mission. He probably murdered my friends.”

Kourtney scooted up closer on the bed. “Look, I can’t pretend to understand what you have been through, but how can you actually side with the Aces? They’re our enemies.”

“They’re good people. _Truly_ good people. Us and them, we’re not that different. And they didn’t deserve to die.” Nini felt her emotions from earlier start to rise back up, but she swallowed them down. “Being with them, it just made me realize…we have all of these blind loyalties. Spades. Aces. Lions. But everyone is the same! I just happened to be homeless in Spade territory for EJ to seek me out. But what if I had picked a different area of the city? What if I was recruited by the Aces? I’m still _me._ I would still be me. Everyone has the same goddamn story, and I’m so sick of people dying over these stupid rivalries.”

The two girls grew quiet, watching Nini on her rant. When she finished she looked between them. Nini knew _they_ knew she was right.

“So…Bowen. Do you—do you actually love him?” Kourtney asked.

“I do.” Nini’s voice caught. “I really do.”

“And you’re sure he didn’t do anything to you? Brainwash you—use you?” Gina added.

Nini leaned in closer to her friends. Finally, _finally_ she was getting somewhere. “I swear it. I swear that everything I have felt is real.” Nini swallowed. “I…I swear it on Bradley’s life. The Aces are good people, and I truly love Ricky Bowen.” She looked down, shaking her head lightly. “I didn’t…I don’t want to lose him the same way.”

Nini watched as Gina and Kourtney looked at each other. Like they had formed some type of unspoken language in the months that she had gone. Nini waited. They had to understand. They _had_ to. Kourtney turned back to her, and reached out to her hand, gripping onto Nini’s tightly. Nini’s face crumpled, she squeezed her hand back as Gina came around and hugged her tightly from the side.

“We’ll talk to him. We’ll try, Nini. We promise.”

* * *

Ricky stifled a wince as he pushed open the training room doors, shoving it lightly with his shoulder. A week after the Romano hit, his ribs still hurt, most likely bruised, and that bullet graze on his upper arm wasn’t helping at all. He grit his teeth hard, trying to bite down the pain.

On the sparring mat were the Aces, or what was left of them. Their limbs were decorated with bandages, bruises and cuts on everyone’s faces. One had her arm in a sling. Ricky hated the sight of it. He had led them into a bloodbath. So many, so many Aces he lost and could not save. How would he live with himself?

It was a living nightmare. A blur of terror and panic that he wish he could forget but he never would be able to. So many Lions flooding the basement. They cornered them. Bullets were flying back and forth like a swarming insects. He had seen so many of his gang members fall. He had seen bullets rip through them and bring them down. And they would not get back up again.

Ricky had failed them. He could have prevented this. He _should_ have prevented this. But leading up to the hit his had been in fucking _bed_ , heartbroken over a mistake he made. Over something he never should have done in the first place. And now Aces were dead, and Nini was gone.

Why had she been screaming so much?

Ricky only heard parts of it through his earpiece, but it had been enough to send his body into fight mode. He had received bits and pieces of it. Nini screaming to give it back, her voice almost unrecognizable through her sobs and screeching. The sound of it reverberated through is head—chills ran down Ricky’s spine—he would never forget it.

And that other voice, the one keeping her from him. The one that Nini had been screaming at. It was EJ Caswell, Ricky could swear it was EJ.

The Spades had taken her. And Ricky knew it had been against her will.

She was trying to warn them—to save them—and the Spades had kidnapped her. God, she probably thought they were all dead. How he wished he could tell her that they were alive. That Red and Ashlyn and Carlos and even scrawny little Cal were all alive. He could just imagine her, blaming herself for all of this. He needed to reach her and tell her that none of this was her fault. To hold her hands and tell her that he had meant none of what he said. That she was right and he loved her.

That night, after they had escaped, Ricky had torn across the city, running around frantically looking or any sign of her. He remembered how shear panic had flooded into his system, how he had almost ripped out his hair, calling out her name over and over again until her name was just a sound, like some continuous, desperate screech. _Where you go, I go_ she had told him one. And it was Ricky’s turn now, to uphold that promise. Nini was out there somewhere, alone, not knowing how much he loved her.

And when Red and Carlos finally coaxed him to come back to the Ace compound, he was met with a frenzy. Members trying to get medical help, their makeshift infirmary overrun. Ricky remembered Ashlyn running past him, almost knocking him over. She was shouting for assistance and…and there was blood all over her clothes.

Ricky helped all he could, patching himself up quickly before running to the infirmary to help in anyway he could. He cleaned out wounds, carried the injured, tried to soothe some of the younger, scared Aces. He watched sheets being pulled over the Aces that just didn’t make it.

And at the end of the night, Ricky retired in his office with his three friends. He wouldn’t sleep tonight—couldn’t. Ashlyn and Red sat on the couch, the girl resting her head on Big Red’s shoulder, dozing off after her hectic night. Carlos leaned up against the desk, while Ricky paced across his office.

“We’ll find her, Ricky” Carlos had said. “I’m sure she’s okay.”

“You didn’t hear her,” Ricky wrung his hands. “She was not _okay._ She was screaming and crying. I can’t believe I led us into this—”

“Everything will be fine, we can work this out.” Carlos tried again.

Ricky turned to the boy, stopping his pacing. “But how?! How can I get her back? We’re down and injured—we’re too weak to take down the Spades.”

Red spoke up, careful as to not wake up his girlfriend. “Hey, no one said anything about taking down the Spades. We just need to get Nini back—or at least make sure she’s ok.”

“No, we need revenge for this. After what they did—what he did—to us tonight.” Ricky crossed his arms. His thumb pressed against a sore spot on his chest.

“Ricky, Big Red is right. There’s no way we could do it without more Aces dying. The best thing we could do for Nini is to make sure she’s safe—wherever she is.”

“But she’s safer with _us._ She did not want to go with him, I swear it. We know where they’re holed up, we need to get her back.”

“Okay, Ricky, then we’ll find a way to get her back. But _not_ tonight, and no more violence. _That’s_ what she would have wanted.”

Ricky wanted to scoff. How could they know what Nini would want? But deep down, he knew they were right. He shoved his thumb deeper into that sore spot. “Fine,” Ricky said, looking upon his battered friends. “We’ll send out spies starting tomorrow. Hopefully they’ll be some word about it on the streets.”

And that brings them to where they are now. A week later full of searching, beaten and tattered, congregated in the training room. He was hoping they could find a Spade, just _one_ little Spade to negotiate Nini’s return, or at least guaranteeher safety.Ricky approached them, their waiting eyes staring at him for more instructions. So far, no sign of Nini—or any Spade for that matter.

“Any updates?” He asked the room.

“We asked the durggies on 60th street if they’ve seen any activity,” a girl in the back spoke up. Her name was Annie. She had a black eye and a nasty cut on her forehead. Her voice was quiet, but he nodded for her to go on and she cleared her throat. “Some guy said he saw some Spades around, but some other lady told us he has no clue what he’s talking about most of the time, so…dead end there.”

“Alright, thank you, Annie. Anyone else?” There was still hope in his voice somehow.

No one spoke.

He tried his best not to show how disheartening it was. “Ok, that’s okay guys. We’ll keep searching. Remember, don’t go too deep into their territory without being discrete. Look for anyone with Spade jewelry, tattoos, stuff like that.” He really tried to be encouraging. “And remember, any information is good information. You are all dismissed.”

The handful of Aces started getting up from their spots. Ricky sighed. He would find her. He sent a message out into the universe. Into the sky and the stars. _Where you go, I go_ he told her.He blew air out of his mouth and started to turn towards his friends when a boy approached him.

“Sir?”

“What is it, Cal?”

“I just wanted to tell your, sir—well Nini was always real nice to me. And I just wanted you to know…” Cal turned his chin up a little, trying to look bigger. “We’re going to find her, sir. I’ll make sure of it.”

Ricky gave a soft smile. Even if it was just the words of a fourteen year old boy. Some kid who hadn’t seen enough of life to know what he was walking about, Ricky appreciated it—him. It did five him some solace. “Thank you, Cal. We will.”


	12. Mia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FRICK, I'VE UPDATED
> 
> Guys, I gotta say, junior year is absolutely kicking my ass. I am busy 24/7 with school work and SAT practice, and then when I have any downtime, I either want to read or watch netflix. Motivation? Inspiration? Both have left the chat and cannot be found.
> 
> BUT, I managed to finish this chapter. It's a little rushed, and I apologize for that, but I really wanted to give you guys something. I'm sorry if it is bad quality writing, but ive been stressed out. of. my. mind.
> 
> This chapter is a bit different than the other's (you'll see), but definitely some major plot developments. I def think I'm going to wrap up the story in the next chapter (sorry to sneak that ending up on you all*) with an extra chapter as a kind of epilogue.
> 
> *not to fret, however, because surprise! I plan on making a one shot series based off of this fic. It's just that I've dedicated so much time and energy to these characters, and they def have stories I want to tell. 
> 
> Anyway, great catching up with you all, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> p.s. don't expect another update for like, a month. i'm serious yall. i am swamped :(((( *cries*

One day, life’s gonna drop you on your ass, so you can either give up, or do the best you can with a broken ass bone.

Wise words from Mia’s fifth foster dad. He also said one time, “go do the dishes you little bitch,” but Mia thought to stick with the former quote.

Life had certainly dropped her on her ass. Hell, she was dropped on her ass right as she was given one. Mia was born at three-fifty-two on a Tuesday afternoon (information she had memorized from looking at her birth certificate just once) to a mom who didn’t want her. She had a note from her mother that she’d kept to this day saying all that bullshit about better parents and being better provided for and the better life she deserved and blah blah blah, but Mia never got that. No thanks to a heart condition that kept her in the NICU for months, and seemed to deem her un-adoptable to every parent ever. She was tossed around the foster system for years, spending some time with a shitty family, then going back to a kids home, only to be shoved into the hands of another pair of money grabbing parents.

Mia did the best she could with her broken ass bone, or she tried to. That was another thing about being in the foster system, if you aren’t the “best kid,” you just won’t make it. Mia was a pretty small girl. These days, at fifteen years old, she only measured four foot eleven, and in any group of kids, she was the tiniest. Being in a foster home through her elementary ages. she had to fight for _everything_. A portion of breakfast, a place to sleep, space to do school work. The bathroom, of course. But she refused to be left behind. She wouldn’t let the world just fuck her over. So she woke up at the crack of dawn to finish homework. She raced to the kitchen to get breakfast and do chores. She shoved kids aside to use the shower, and being as small as she was, Mia always found a space to sleep.

Mia had put up a pretty good fight. No matter how depressing her situation got, she kept her spirits high. It worked throughout elementary school, and then through the first year of middle school, but then she was given to the Clark family, and life went to shit.

It’s a sob story many have heard before. To spare the details—abusive parents, shitty house, mean kids. But the Clarks were…different. They were different or Mia was just fed up with the world, she couldn’t decide, but whatever it was, she needed to get out. Her last straw was when Mrs. Clark slapped her across the face. Sure, Mia’s been slapped dozens of times before, but as mentioned before—it was different. Earlier that day, Mia had finally decided to treat herself. She scrounged up every single penny she could find, went to the pharmacy, and bought a tube of bright, shimmery pink lip gloss. The second she stepped outside the store, she ripped open the paper packaging and swiped on the gloss in the reflection of her bike bell. She felt _good._ The word may have been shitty, but her lips were pretty and pink.

But when she got back to the house, Mrs. Clark saw her shimmery lips and slapped her across the face, rings and all. Apparently, “her money was their money” and it was selfish of her to waste it on such a vain thing. Mrs. Clark ripped the gloss from Mia’s little fingers, screwed the top open, and poured her half finished beer into the tube, mixing it all around, the noise engraved in her brain, squishing and wet. Mia could remember the putrid beer spilling all over the table, small flecks of glitter floating all about. It was the _one_ thing, she had finally purchased for herself, and it was ruined. All she had now was a cut on her face, and the sticky remnants of the gloss on her lips.

And when she went into the girl’s room, she thought that maybe, just maybe they would empathize with her, because surely they would understand. But the girls mocked her for thinking she could pull off the lip gloss. They told her that no amount of makeup would ever make her pretty. Shiny lips can’t buy you decent parents. Mia became the runt of the litter. Always pushed around, always left behind.

Mia often wondered, was there no loyalty among the kids? No understanding? They were all in the same boat, why must they torture one another? But she figured that life had dropped all of them on their asses, and maybe they had chosen to give up.

She needed…a family. People to support her, to make her feel better and not worse about being some insignificant, parentless kid. Where could she find such a thing? Mia needed to get out of that house, so she hitchhiked her way to the city. She just needed to be _away_. Mia got a one dollar slice of pizza at some place in the bad part of town, and that’s when she saw her. A pretty girl lurking in the shadows. The girl turned towards the alley. Mia was intrigued. She followed the mystery girl between the building, but…nothing. The alley was empty. So Mia looked up.

The girl was ricocheting in the thin space between the building. Mia watched in awe as she bounced back and forth, wall to wall. Who was this girl? Where the fuck did she learn to do that? Mia needed to find out for herself. She looked for a way to follow, and lucky enough, she found a system of pipes at the other side of the alley. You can do this, she had told herself. If she was being honest, she definitely couldn’t do it. But she clawed and climbed, and somehow, gallons of sweat and dozens of blisters later, she clambered onto the roof.

Well, rolled onto the roof.

Her chest was rising in falling fast, Mia gulping down as much air as her body could let her. Seeing stars, the consequences of her climb was quite tangilble. And that’s when she heard the voice that would change her life forever.

“Hey, kid…are you—are you good?”

The first words ever spoken to her by Nini Salazar Roberts. Mia scrambled to her feet, brushing herself off, tripping over herself. She finally got a good look at the girl, and boy, she was probably to most beautiful person she had ever seen. Perfect posture. Set and sharp features, but…but there was some kind of warm air to her. She looked kind. And even though she had just made an ascent that was ten times harder than what Mia had done, she didn’t break a sweat.

So words started spilling out of Mia’s mouth. She had basically dumped her whole life story onto this stranger. But Nini had stayed silent through it all, looking at her with curiosity and understanding. For once, someone was understanding. When Mia finally took a breath, Nini simply smiled, and approached her more closely. “C’mon,” she had said kindly. Her voice silky and maternal. “I think I know some people you’ll like.”

Fast forward to now, Mia had been a member with he Aces for just over the year, and it was everything she could have ever asked for. People who understood her. Who supported her. A group of people who did the best with what they were given, and welcomed her with open arms.

Now she was in a new system. A place where everyone had a part to play. Where everyone was a different cog in the machine, not just broken pieces cast aside. And Mia knew exactly what part she wanted to play—the spider.

Nini was Mia’s role model—no scratch that—Nini was Mia’s freakin hero. She watched the way she scaled up buildings like a spider on a wall. How she fought with such grace and never broke a sweat. How she won the praise of EJ Caswell over and over again, and never thought twice about it. Mia had heard the Nini Salazar-Robert’s story, how she had overcome such odds to be this kickass person today, and Mia wanted to be just like that.

Nini had taken up training the newbies in her free time, but as Mia so disappointingly learned, the Spider had barely _any_ free time being Spade leader’s second hand and all. No matter, because Mia was grateful for any ounce of attention from her hero that she could get. Every training day she could get, every piece of advice or critique or lesson from the Spider, Mia consumed it all. She practiced and practiced, not quite getting the climbing so easily, but as the months went by her footsteps grew quieter and quieter. Her motions more graceful. She could hide within the shadows, travel through the Spade base like a ghost. And yeah, Mia was pretty good at sparring with the other kids, but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. She needed to be the spider on the wall. She needed Nini to teach her.

And then came the Aces, snatching away her only chance at becoming the best. Go figure.

Mia wanted to kill Ricky Bowen. It had been eight months without Nini. By now, Mia had thought, she could be climbing buildings taller than the two story ones they had practiced on. She could be going on heists as Nini’s apprentice. She could win the praise of EJ Caswell. But Bowen had to take it all away. Selfish bastard.

Then, a miracle. Mia had been running around the city, scouring the streets for any sign of Nini—a hobby she had taken up over the past months—when she spotted her. Everything would be alright now. Everything would be how it’s supposed to be. Because Nini could come back and keep training her, and Mia could become the best.

But everything wasn’t alright. Clearly. Nini was back but she was…Mia tried to make it out as she crouched in the shadows outside of Nini’s room. She had her ear pressed against the wall, hidden in the shadows.

She heard a muffled voice. “So…Bowen. Do you—do you actually love him?” Kourtney asked.

_Love?_ Mia grimaced. No, that wasn’t right. Nini had gone to the Aces unhappily. She had gone because she had to. There was no possible way she could grow to… _love_ them. To love Ricky Bowen.

“I do.”

Mia’s heart stilled.

“I really do.” Nini spoke.

The dark haired girl grit down on her teeth. First Bowen took her away, and now he had turned her into this mushy gushy mess? Mia couldn’t believe it. God, why did everything in her life have to go to shit?

This wasn’t supposed to happen. When she first met Nini on that rooftop, it was supposed to mean a new beginning. A new life where she didn’t have to fight for every single little thing. Mia stood from her spot, storming down the hall.

Maybe she would fight for one more thing. Maybe she would fight for Nini, and make sure Bowen never ruined anything ever again.

* * *

The air in her lungs felt sharp but refreshing. The sharp ends of her straight black hair had occasionally whipped across her face, her gold, Spade shaped necklace bounced across her chest, but Mia didn’t care. When she was running, she felt free.

She looked toward the sky. The sun was setting. She needed to find something quick. Ideally, she needed to find the Ace compound so she could give Ricky a piece of her mind, but at this point, anything would do. People stared at her as she ran in street clothes. A tiny five foot girl running like she had just escaped the mental ward. Mia tried so many things. She asked the dealers on Collins St, some homeless guy at the park, a group of teenagers smoking outside their school. No one seemed to know where to find the Aces, or even who they were. Maybe bringing all of this attention to herself wasn’t the best idea, but Mia was desperate.

Finally skidding to a stop at a street corner, Mia gulped down air, resting her hands on her knees. Where could he possibly be? Why was one freaking guy so hard to find? Mia straightened herself out, twirling her neckless around her pointer finder, the small gold spade shape flipping back and forth.

God, she needed another miracle.

And suddenly something hard and cold hit her on the back of her head, and she was out.

* * *

“What went through your mind when you thought this was a good idea?”

“She had the jewelry, so I thought she could give us _something_.”

“Cal, you can’t just go around in broad daylight knocking people out!”

“Sir, I know it wasn’t the brightest idea—“

“It was plain stupid is what it is!”

Mia’s face was smushed against something leathery and soft. And she was…she was laying down on her side. She felt a sore pain on the back of her head, and he mouth felt tangy and uncomfortable. _What the hell?_ Her groggy mind was able to put together just one thought at a time. _Where am I?_

Voices! That’s right. There were people talking from what sounded like a couple feet away from her. One boy who was maybe her age, and someone a little older. What had happened. Mia tried to recall. She was on the corner, and she was tired. The sun was setting and…

And some kid knocked her out.

“Look, Ricky, with all due respect, I meant what I said before. I intend to keep my promise. I will do whatever it takes to find Nini, and this is the first Spade I have found.”

_Ricky_. As in Ricky frickin Bowen? And did he say Nini? Mia let the shock settle in, all the while trying to stay still, keeping her breathing steady. She needed to hear just a bit more before she “awoke.”

“I understand, Cal, but I’m sure there’s a much more responsible approach to this. You—you could have followed her, or…or”

“Or what? We already know where the Spades are, that’s not the problem. What we _need_ to know is whether Nini is ok.”

Yeah right. If Mia could scoff right now, she would have. No way Bowen actually cared about Nini’s well being. He probably just missed having a world class spy on his team.

Bowen paused for a moment. “I guess…I guess we can try to get some intel from her. Maybe trick her into telling us about the layout of their compound. It might help us when we go get Nini out of there.”

No. Fucking. Way.

He wanted to steal Nini again? Anger flared in Mia’s chest. That greedy, selfish son of a bitch. Bowen couldn’t do this to her. Nini was her only chance, and Mia couldn’t let her be taken. The gears in her brain started turning. What could keep Bowen away? What could make sure he didn’t come for Nini— _ever again_?

“But Cal, listen to me. You can do anything like this every again, ok?” He sounded a bit flustered. “Y-You can’t go around _kidnapping_ little girls.”

“Actually, I’m not so little. I’ll be sixteen next month.”

Mia felt a little light headed as she sat up, but she watched at the two boys’ attention peaked. Their faces hardening. Now that she was fully up and awake, she took note of her surroundings. She was in an office, on a leather couch. Ricky Bowen and the boy that had taken her stood a small distance away. He looked…different than she thought he would. Mia had expected some macho man with a thousand tattoos and a cigarette glued to his mouth, but quite honestly, his features were soft and boyish, not looking any older that Nini. A quiet red head of about the same age stood a couple feet off to the side.

Ricky stepped forward, clearing his throat. “Are you a Spade?” He asked.

Mia played dumb. “That depends on who’s asking.”

“Cut the bullshit, you know who I am.”

Well, wasn’t he a sweet cup of tea

Mia tilted her head and smiled, pleasantly. “You are right, Ricky Bowen, I do know who you are.”

“And your name is…”

“Mia.”

“Last name?”

“Well, you haven’t even taken me out to dinner yet why should I give you that?”

“Last name.”

She sighed. “Lam.”

He squinted his eyes for a moment, as of trying to recognize her—her name, but he seemed to shake it off. “Well, Mia Lam, do you know why you’re here?”

“Possibly.” Every word of her’s was overly sweet, yet sharp as a dagger. Ricky Bowen would remember her name. He would know the girl who’s life he’d meddled with.

“What do you know about Nina Salazar-Roberts?” He asked, arms crossed. The two boys behind him watched their banter. The boy called Cal looked a bit queazy. She only let her gaze stray from the gang leader for a millisecond.

“Joined around five years ago. Best spy the Spades have ever had. Was EJ’s second in command. Specialized in climbing, hand to hand combat, knife throwing, and spying, duh. Left eight months ago due to a rival gang’s deal. Returned a week ago.”

“And how is she? Is she doing okay?” Ricky asked, his voice had wavered, becoming more urgent.

“Five foot six. Two moms. Adopted. Half Filipina. Other half is divided between Dutch and English. Dealt with addiction thoughout high school. Kicked out at sixteen—“

“Just answer the goddamn question.” Ricky was getting riled, and it made Mia feel all bubbly inside.

Mia crossed her legs. “It’s such a shame, though. She was so pretty. And always so kind to me.” Mia let her voice fade off, like the was reminiscing. Nini had taught her that.

“What you mean ‘a shame?’” Ricky asked, stepping even closer to her.

“Oh, I totally forgot to tell you! Sorry, scatter brain.” Mia twirled her finger, motioning it at her head. “EJ found out she ‘loved you’ or something, and said that you had, like, corrupted her? I guess he didn’t want her to be part of the Spades anymore.” Mia sighed and intertwined her fingers around her knee. “Anyway. She’s dead. EJ shot her a couple days ago. Such a shame.”

* * *

Papers floated around him like feathers.

Dozens of sheets of carefully organized papers, from blue prints to personel files to electrical bills, drifted around him, a flurry, fluttering to the ground with barely a sound. A silent storm of white.

_You corrupted her. She’s dead_.

Ricky had stayed calm when he told Red to escort Mia out of the office. He had stayed calm when he told Cal to leave, and not say anything to anyone just yet. He stayed calm as she shut the door to his office, oh so carefully.

And then, he screamed.

Ricky screamied and sobbed as he ravaged his office. Tears blurred his vision, barely seeing the things he was tearing about and destroying.

_EJ shot her a couple days ago_.

A couple days. His darling had been dead for a couple _days._ While he had been walking around, breathing, living, she had not been doing the same. Cold and dead. Ricky’s sobs racked his body. He ripped down his wall of newspaper articles—the wall of his trophies of his heists. All of his accomplishments…they were all lies. He had done nothing in his life if he hadn’t been able to do the one thing he was really living for:

Protecting Nini

Ricky’s hands tore at his face as burning tears spilled out of his eyes. It felt as if thick, hot liquid had been poured down his lungs, unable to breathe, unable to stop choking on the grief.

Ricky ended up collapsing against the front of his desk, crumbling to the ground. Knees tucked to his chest, eyes red and puffy.

The woman he loved was dead. The woman he loved was dead, and he never got to say I love you. The woman he loved was dead, and he never got to say I love you and he made her think he didn’t love her at all. She died not knowing that he hadn’t meant any of it and he was now living in a world with the immutable fact that the love of his life was no longer alive.

Was she alone when she was killed? Was anyone there to hold her, to tell her everything would be all right? Was anyone there to make sure she wasn’t afraid as she went? Did EJ even give her the mercy of a quick death?

Ricky was alive, and Nini was not. No no no. No. That didn’t sound right. That was all wrong.

Maybe if he tried again.

“Ricky is alive,” he mumbled. “and Nini is not.”

No. Not right.

So, so wrong.

He wasn’t sure how long he had spent there on the floor. He had no windows, for the lamp now broken on the floor had gone out. He was only left with the standing lamp in the corner, and still he could not tell how much time had past. His heart ached. His head throbbed for no reason other than the overwhelming pain of thinking of a life with no Nini.

Eventually he heard a noise. The sound of a door creaking open. Boots on wood floors, and clothes shifting around. A soft grunt as someone sat in front of him. Ricky stared at a spot on the floor where a certain polaroid had fallen. One he’d taken of Nini during one of their game nights. She was smiling, showing off her monopoly money like it was a real wad of cash. Ricky wondered when he’d see that smile again.

Never.

“Ricky,” Red spoke softly after a moment of silence. “What do you need me to do?”

Of course thats what Big Red would say. Not “are you okay” because of course he was not. Not “how do you feel” because of course the answer was not great. Just “what do you need me to do,” because Big Red would do anything for him.

“I…” Ricky couldn’t recognize the sound that came out of his mouth after so long sobbing, but he found his control. “I need…”

What did he need? Nini—that’s what he needed. Maybe some kind of satanic ritual to bring her back from the dead. Could Big Red do that? Probably not. Resurrection was most likely out of the picture. Could he turn back time for him? Build a fucking time machine?

_What do I need?_ Ricky thought to himself, and the perfect word came bubbling up from the pit of his stomach. EJ did this. EJ pulled that trigger that wiped Nini off of the face of the Earth. Simply because she loved something other than the Spades. That monster needed to rot, he needed to die.

“Revenge.” Ricky said in a low voice. “I need revenge.”

Red scooted closer. “Ricky, you know I can’t let you do that. Not with EJ being Ashlyn’s cousin.”

“You can’t be _fucking_ serious, Red,” Ricky raised his voice, finally snapping his head up to look at his friend.

“I am fucking serious.”

Ricky leaned forward, raising a condemning finger towards the red head. “You have no right to tell me what I can and can’t do, ok? You have no _fucking_ clue what this feels like—”

“ _No,_ I don’t know what it feels like. And I hope I never know this pain that you are feeling.” Red stood his ground, but still somehow remained sympathetic. “But I love Ashlyn, just like you loved Nini. And I know you love Ashlyn, too, in your own way. I am _not_ letting you kill her only living family member.”

Ricky shut his mouth. He had never seen his friend so decisive in anything. And as much as he hated it, as much as he wanted to blow EJ’s brains out, as much as this _hurt_ , he knew his friend was right.

What did he need? He needed EJ to pay. He needed EJ to…feel this pain. To hurt as much as Ricky hurt. To have something he loved ripped away from him. To feel helpless and lost and empty. He needed EJ to feel all of that.

Then, a wave of memories washed over him. Every single moment that EJ and him had ever crossed paths. Every single second that he was in Ricky’s life…Ricky sifted through the memories. There had to be something there—someone there that EJ loved.

And then, he remembered.

That night when the two gang leaders made the deal. Nini flanked EJ’s left and…a different girl on his right. A girl with warm skin and perfect curly hair. The girl had tried to calm EJ, he remembered.

And then at the street race—the flag girl with the leather skirt and fishnet stockings. The way she smirked at EJ, and the way he looked at her…

And Ricky knew just what he had to do.   
“Fine. I won’t kill your girlfriend’s cousin,” Ricky spat. “But I need you guys to get me into the Spade compound.”

Red shook his head just slightly. “I don’t know, Ricky—”

“That’s not a request, that is an order from your leader. You, Ashlyn, and Carlos need to get me into that compound. No one else goes, and no one else needs to know. Are we clear?” Ricky started standing from his spot on the floor, picking up the jacket he had thrown on the floor earlier.

“Ricky, what are you gonna—”

“Are we clear?”

After three long seconds, Red grit down, and nodded. “Yes. We are clear.”

Ricky watched as Red left the room, stepping over papers as he went. When he finally shut the door behind him, Ricky wiped away his last tears.

He couldn’t live in a world without Nini. He couldn’t bear it.

And that’s why after shooting that curly haired girl, he would save a bullet for himself.


	13. I defy you, stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and of course we gotta end it with a quote from shakespeare himself.
> 
> GUYSSS OMGGG this is officially the last chapter (before the epilogue ofc).   
> I'm so sorry that it literally took a whole MONTH to get this chapter out, but I'm really terrible at writing endings and writing this chapter was super scary.  
> Jeez, I don't even know what to say. I compared the word count with some of my fave books and yo I wrote a whole ass NOVEL  
> And to think this was supposed to be a 4 chapter little thing.  
> I really hope you guys enjoy this ending. I had lots of fun writing it, and creating these characters for Ricky and Nini has been an honor. (emo hours)

Her hair had grown so long

The brown fraying ends of it fell at her hips, like little fingers reaching, reaching down. Nini was surprised she let it get so long. With her hair always tied up in a bun, it was easy to forget, and without Kourtney to cut and style her hair at the Aces, it simply slipped Nini’s mind.

She ran her fingers through it, still studying those ends. Over the past ten or so months, so much had changed. Her entire world changed, her heart had changed. But the ends of her hair were the same. They were there when she was a Spade spider and nothing else. They were there before she had met Ricky.

She wanted to cut it off.

Nini didn’t want to remember a world without Ricky. Hell, she was living in that world now. But those ends were a sign of her close-mindedness. Of a time when the Spades were good and the Aces were bad. Now, she didn’t know what to think.

Well, she knew one thing. She wanted to cut it off.

Nini had begged Kourtney for a pair of scissors. Her friend had insisted on doing it, but Nini needed to do it herself, she told Kourt. Kourtney argued it would look choppy and messy, which Nini took slight offense to, but the brunette stood her ground. Maybe it was some main character mentality bullshit, but Nini swore she needed to be the one to do it. _Promise me you won’t kill anybody with these,_ Kourtney had warned, clutching the scissors close to her chest, _or yourself._

Nini promised, and her friend reluctantly handed them over.

Now Nini stood in her bathroom, fingers in her hair, fraying ends at her hips. She couldn’t remember the last time she had shorter hair. Maybe when she was little her moms gave her bob, but throughout her preteen to teen years, Nini always liked having long hair.

Something just felt wrong about it now.

Taking one last look at herself, Nini plucked the scissors from the countertop, weaving her fingers through the handle. She grabbed a fistful of her brown hair, pulling it taught, dragging her hand down to her chest.

With the other hand, she brought the blades up to just below her shoulder.

And she snipped.

A chunk of her long, silky hair fell into the sink in front of her. And Nini felt…she felt better.

The shorter piece that now hung from her head fell at the base of her neck around the clavicle. She fingered the newly cut ends with her finger. It felt stronger, tougher. The thinning, breakable ends were gone.

Nini brought the scissors up to her head again, and again, and again. Cutting and cutting, precision out the window. She watched each chunk of hair has it drifted down to the sink, landing on her clothes, the floor. The pieces of her life that she regretted, that she wanted to forget. They fell around her like pages in a book, landing in the sink and disintegrating in the water. And when she was drowning in a sea of those pages, Nini snipped the ends for some form of evenness, and put the scissors down.

She ran her hands through it. It felt odd having such a small volume of hair on her head, with the hair slipping out of her fingers at such a short length, but Nini admired it in the mirror nonetheless. It wasn’t long anymore, that was for sure, but it wasn’t so short that she couldn’t braid it or tie it up. Nini shook her head, letting the messy strands fall into place, and continued to stare at herself in the mirror.

It was different, but…she liked it.

A content smile—barely a smile, maybe a slight twitch of the mouth—graced Nini’s lips.

Her heart pounded. She hadn’t smiled since before that night in Ricky’s office.

* * *

As time passed in her small little decorated cell, Nini found a new monster to battle: boredom.

There were only so many hours in the day she could spend crying or grieving over people who might be dead, and Nini was sure if she let herself give into the weight of it all, she wouldn’t be able to get back on her feet.

So, as the walls seemed to be closing in every day, it became Nini’s lovely task of finding something to do. Fucking anything.

She started by doing an inventory of her room. Nini never realized she owned so many things. Eleven pencils, four pens, thirty eight polaroids, one hundred sixty six pieces of paper, six books, two candles, one dead plant, and three empty cans of soda from god knows when.

Nini also found her stash of nail polish. Climbing always destroyed her nails, so having them long enough to paint had become a special occasion for her. Nini browsed through her collection. Black, emerald, navy, red. The brunette settled on a deep shade of violet, sweeping the color over her stubby nails. She held up her hand to admire. It looked nice. Not that it mattered in the grand scope of things, but her purple nails looked nice.

Breakfast was always left at her door before she woke up, which was usually around noon. Nini would nibble at the lukewarm eggs and toast before she lost her appetite. She’d mush everything around into a sludge of breakfast, pouring the orange juice all over the plate, making swirly designs in the mush. That lasted her a good thirty minutes every day.

She kept a small collection of sharpened objects. Things like her toothbrush, hairbrush, and forks from breakfast—all fashioned into shivs of varying pointy-ness. Maybe one of these days when she decided to escape they would come in handy. But Nini wasn’t ready to face the world. Face everything she lost.

Gina, Seb, and Kourtney would come by at night. They were busy all day, so usually by nightfall they were tired, yet that didn’t stop them from hanging out with her. Ten months was a hell of a long time without talking to her best friends. They talked for _hours,_ catching Nini up on everything she missed. The first night after Nini made the chop, Kourtney obsessively examined and trimmed her hair. It felt like an eternity of hearing _snip snip snip_ all around her head, Kourtney muttering to herself how it was a damn mess and that Nini should have just let her do it.

They asked if she wanted to leave her room, but Nini was never up for it. What if she ran into EJ? He would look at her with disgust. The face of someone who once loved her would turn into one of hatred. He would look at her as if she were a stranger. And what if he came to her with the news that all the Aces had died? Nini wouldn’t be able to handle it.

And don’t get her started on the books. Why didn’t past-Nini read more damn books? There was a limited number of titles that were available to her, all of which were annoyingly short and easy reads. She was at two books per day already, heaving reread them over twice.

Nini was laying upside down on the edge of her bed, three-fourths through with her copy of _We Were Liars._ She sighed, bracing herself for the huge ass twist she’s already read three times. Honestly, how did she not see it coming the first time she read the book? All of the signs were literally _right there,_ like when Cadence sent those emails, and Mirren didn’t even—

Nini bolted upward at the sound of a shouting and some yelling from above her. She heard loud footsteps, boots pounding on wood floors. The sounds stopped for a moment. Nini stilled, her page in the book lost in her hands. _What the fuck was that?_ Nini thought. She waited for the sounds to resume again and—

She heard a scuffle and what sounded like a body thumping on the ground.

Nini rushed to her feet, grabbing the sharpened toothbrush from her bedside table. The same toothbrush, actually, that she had tried to stab EJ with. Nini took quiet steps towards the door, her head cocked towards the ceiling, listening for the commotion.

 _Thump_. Another body.

What was going on? Did a fight break out? Did the feds finally find them? Nini’s heart started to race. What if her friends were in trouble? It would be selfish of her to stay locked in the safety of her room. Disgraced Spade or not, she loved her fellow gang members. They needed help.

Nini reached her door, jamming the toothbrush into the lock. God, she hadn’t picked a lock with a shiv in _ages_. After training with the Spades, Nini had grown so used to actual lock picking tools. But her hand remembered the movements. Twist half up in the opposite direction, apply even pressure, press upwards and—

 _Click_. Her door swung open.

The sight of the full hallway in front of her was unfamiliar in a way. For these past days, Nini had only seen slivers of the hallway when her friends waltzed in, but now it was looming in front of her. Free for her to walk down and go where she pleased. Nini decided to head towards the noises. She needed to go up.

Each of her steps were accompanied by the sound of footsteps above. She picked up speed, heading for the east stairwell. Her heart pounded. Nini was not going to lose more of her friends. Though her tie to being a Spade had grown threadbare, it was still her job to protect her people. And she would not fail them like she had failed the Aces.

Reaching the end of the hall and pushing to door open, a gust of damp air filled her senses. She started up the metal staircase. _Shit._ Nini looked down at her feet. The cold metal against her toes had her realizing she had forgotten her shoes. No matter. Nini didn’t falter. She let her legs propel her up, up, up, reaching the third floor landing—

Nini crashed into another body. Hearing a very feminine yelp, she caught herself on the railing. Nini raised her shiv to a ready position, ready to stab the enemy—

“Whoa, Nini, it’s me!” Gina held her hand up, curling back. Nini dropped her arm, letting out a breath.

“God, Gina, you scared me!”

“Likewise!” Gina got to her feet, brushing herself off. “I’m not the one holding a goddamn shiv.”

“I’m sorry, G.” Another thud sounded. “What’s happening?”

“I’m not sure. I was in the tech room upstairs. I heard the commotion, I was coming down to check.”

Yelling sounded. Both the women’s head turned to the door.

“C’mon,” Nini started for the door. “Let’s see what’s going on.”

Gina gripped Nini’s hand. “Nini, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go.”

“What?” Nini jerked her hand from Gina’s grasp. “If there’s trouble, I have to help.”

“I know, but you’ve been isolated for so long. I wan’t you to be safe. If something’s wrong…I just don’t know if you’re in the right mindset right now.”

“I’m _fine,_ G” Nini started for the door again. Pushing it open, she was greeted with quiet hall. “They must be on the other side, let’s go.”

“ _Nins”_

 _“Let’s go, Regina”_ Nini nearly growled. She heard her friend sigh behind her, and they tiptoed into the hall.

The pair travelled towards the noises. Nini heard doors slam, large thuds that sounded like furniture being turned over. She heard yelling and yelps, and grunts of pain. Nini’s feet quickened. _Protect protect protect._ Nini repeated the word like a mantra in her mind.

They got so close it sounded as if the commotion was around the corner. “I think it’s over here,” Nini said half over her shoulder. She spun her shiv in her hand, gripping it tightly, ready to attack whatever threat they were to face.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Gina grabbed Nini’s arm, tugging her back slightly and jogging in front of her, blocking Nini from moving forward. “Nins, I really don’t think you should go.” She whispered.

“I’m fine!” Nini whisper-yelled. “If something bad is happening, let me help, I have to help.”

“It might be dangerous, and I don’t think you’re in the right condition to fight right now.” Gina’s eyes filled with concern. Gina bit her lip nervously.

“Gina, I’ll be okay. Please—just—please let me help.”

“I have a really bad feeling, Nini—“

“ _Please_ , I have to. I can’t—I can’t fail like I did before—“

“A really bad feeling, Nini. We should wait for more back up. I’ll get EJ—“

A click sounded. A few yards behind Gina, a distinct click sounded. A click like a gun being cocked. Both women silenced. Nini heard the ragged breathing of what sounded like a man. Gina froze, her body blocking Nini’s view. Slowly, Gina put her hands up. She glared at Nini, giving a look that said _help_ and _I told you so_ all at the same time. Nini’s eyes widened in response.

Very softly, Gina whispered, “You have to run.”

Nini clenched her jaw, creasing her brows and glaring back at her friend. No way in hell was she abandoning her. Nini shook her head.

Gina slowly stepped to the side, pivoting her body to face their attacker.

Nini caught sight of the man.

Her heart stilled.

* * *

Ricky examined the building from his crouched position by a dumpster. He’d made up the plan in a matter of thirty or so minutes. It was a rush job, but Ricky wasn’t intending on making it clean. Or getting away with it.

Or living through it.

He established a team. Carlos and Red were to flank him when they got in. They were to split up and search for her. For Gina Porter. So he could kill her, and cause EJ Caswell the same pain that he felt. Ashlyn would be in the getaway van. So Carlos and Red could make it out.

Ricky tightened his gloves around his wrist. None of his teammates knew what his endgame was, and he wanted it to stay that way. God knows that if any of his friends knew, Ricky would be restrained or locked in a room or handcuffed to the radiator.

He knew for certain he couldn’t just go walking through the front door of the Spade compound. They’d be swarmed by Spades in a matter of minutes. No, Ricky needed some element of surprise. The Spade compound was vast. After all, it used to be an old factory. Ricky knew for certain that the residential parts would be on the upper floors. People lounging around in their rooms were to best to attack. They weren’t ready for a fight, but he would be.

And that would mean one thing: Ricky would have to climb.

It was Nini’s specialty, of course, and every time she did it, it would leave Ricky in wonder. How she could scale such buildings so fearlessly was beyond him. Like her namesake, she would climb with such grace, like an instinctive skill. She was _meant_ for it. She was meant to climb up, up to the sky, up to the stars.

In some dark way that wrenched his heart, Ricky figured that she’d finally made it.

Made it to the stars.

Ricky glanced up at the sky. He felt a pang of dread in his chest. If she was looking down on him now, she’d be ashamed, Ricky just knew. She’d be ashamed that he resorted to revenge. Ashamed that he was going to hurt her friends. That he was going after blood.

But that changed nothing. Ricky shoved down the feeling. Maybe in some afterlife, she would forgive him, and everything would be alright in the end. He would be with her.

Oh how he prayed that he would be with her.

Ricky brought his fingers to his ear piece. “Initiating first phase.”

“Copy.” Red replied.

Ricky tiptoed to the side of the building, Carlos and Red joining him from their respective hiding places. Carlos passed a duffle bag to Ricky. Opening the bag, Ricky took out the smart-grappling hook they had acquired in the Spade-Ace tech deal. The same deal that gave them Nini. He fiddled with it, turning the device on and watching stripes of turquoise light run along the edges. Aiming at the sky, he pressed the trigger. The gun-metal tongs of the device silently latched onto the brick side of the building. What a shame, Ricky thought. Gina really was brilliant.

Digging around in the bag once more, Ricky pulled out clips, passing them to the two boys. He attached one to himself, as well as the rope that ran up from the device.

Ricky turned back to his team. “Alright boys,” he spoke in a hushed voice. “You find her, and then find me. Don’t use your guns, we want to reduce noise if we can. Delay them.”

“Are you ever going to tell us what you intend to do with her?” Carlos asked.

“No.” Ricky said firmly. And with that, he turned and started pulling himself up.

“Great,” he heard Carlos mutter from below him.

One hand over the other, over and over again, Ricky pulled himself up. He glanced up every once in a while, seeing his target window getting closer and closer. Ricky felt the rope shift as another one of the boys latched on. His arms started to burn. Jeez, how did Nini do this? And without the rope? Ricky began to pant. Even in death, she was still amazing him.

Approaching the window, he pushed up on the glass. It was unlocked, and opened with loud screech. Fantastic. Ricky flinched away, looking down at the two boys. They peered up at him with wide eyes. He waited. One second. Two. No one seemed to be coming. Ricky proceeded to push open the window, the metal screeching painfully loud. He scrambled into the building and unlatched himself.

Boots landing on a carpeted floor, Ricky adjusted to the low light. He took in his surroundings as the two other boys climbed in. It was some kind of office, maybe a lounging area. This is good, Ricky thought. If they were on a residential floor, they might be able to find Gina’s room.

Ricky drew his gun from the holster on his hip and checked the clip. He had seven bullets, and that was more than enough. He only really needed two.

Ricky put the gun away. He would use it later.

They headed for the door, Red coming to flank him on his right.

“You sure you wanna do this?” He asked. “Whatever ‘this’ is?”

“Absolutely.” Ricky replied in a hushed voice.

Ricky took a deep breath. They had no idea what was on the other side of this door. It could be swarming with Spades. It could be empty. Gina could be on the other side. Hell, Nini’s ghost might be on the other side.

Ricky kicked the door open.

The three men swarmed out, ready in their defensive positions. Ricky spotted the blonde boy first, whose head whipped toward them, a startled expression across his face.

“Hey!” The boy yelled, getting the attention of those around him. “Intruders!”

“Yeah yeah,” Ricky muttered as people started to charge towards them. He took down the blonde boy first, dodging the punch coming for his face and kicking his head into the floor. A dark haired girl, maybe no more that seventeen, came up behind Ricky in a headlock, cutting off his air. Stars started to crowd his vision before he ducked and rolled, slamming the girl on the ground in front of him. As he got to his feet, finding his bearings, Red fell to the floor, having been punched. Ricky surged forward to help his friend, but Red held a hand up.

“Go! We got it over here, just go!” He shouted to Ricky, sweeping the legs of another attacker.

Ricky’s heart twisted, he bit down on a protest. He had grown up with Big Red. In the darkest times, when Ricky felt completely, and utterly alone, Red had been there. Every heist, every kill, every damn dumb decision, Red had stuck through it with Ricky. The only constant in Ricky’s life had been Red’s unconditional love.

They weren’t just best friends. They has been brothers.

All good things must come to an end.

Ricky nodded to his friend. Reds eyes seemed to search Ricky’s face. It was as if he had looked into Ricky’s heart, and realized his true intentions. A wash of panic flashed on Red’s face, but before Ricky could be stopped, he tore his eyes away.

_Goodbye, brother._

Ricky continued ahead, beating down any Spade who dared to try and stop him. Left hook there, upper cut here. An occasional kick to the head or tackle. Spades landed a few good punches on him, but Ricky made it through, blazing a trail of unconscious bodies.

And every room he passed, Ricky searched. Searched for Gina, or any trace that she might occupy the room. Maybe her gadgets or photos. But to no avail. It seemed that everyone but Gina lived on this goddamn floor.

He needed to get to another floor. He needed to find the staircase.

Ricky slammed the door of a room he had just ransacked behind him. A few yards in front of him, a boy stood frozen in fear, eyes wide. Ricky touched a finger to his face. It was wet and warm. _Blood._ The red on his fingers confirmed it. Ricky also glanced behind him. A small smirk crossed Ricky’s face. Yeah no shit the boy would be terrified. He stalked towards the boy, who had gone about fifty shades paler. Grabbing a fistful of the boy’s collar, Ricky jerked the boy toward him.

“Where’s the stairs?” Ricky growled.

“D—d—” The boy stuttered, whimpering slightly when Ricky jerked him again. His toes were nearly off the ground.

“ _Where?”_

“D-down the hall and to the l-left” He sobbed out.

“Now was that so hard?” Ricky mocked before dropping the boy on the ground.

He proceeded forward. The hall in front of him was fairly empty. Ricky let himself sigh slightly. He was growing a bit tired. He needed to conserve some energy. Ricky cracked his neck, groaning at a particularly freeing crack. As he reoriented himself, the sound of hush voices filled the air. He stilled, listening closely. He couldn’t make out the words, but a pair of feminine voices sounded around the corner.

Ricky approached carefully, creeping towards the end of the hall. He peered over the corner. A couple feet ahead of him stood a girl with wildly curly brown hair. Tall, brown skin. About the right build. _It’s her_. Ricky felt a rush of satisfaction. He drew his gun.

Fleeting moments. It was all he had left, it was all he had to hold onto. Fleeting moments of sadness and happiness and hatred. Of falling in love and stolen kisses on stolen time. Fleeting moments of fighting, of suffering. And this—avenging the one he loved—would be his last fleeting moment.

His heart pounded. For some reason, Ricky expected peace. He expected clarity for this moment. That maybe everything would make sense—that every sacrifice he’s ever made would seem worth it. But nothing came. Nothing happened.

No matter. He would be with Nini soon.

And Ricky cocked his gun.

Gina froze. Her hand left her sides as she raised them above her head. He heard her mutter something that wasn’t quite discernible.

She moved the to side, turning around slowly.

Uncovering the second figure.

And his brown eyes bet hers.

* * *

A moment passed

Then two

And then Nini was sprinting forwards, legs moving like lightning toward him.

_Him._

Ricky looked as if he was seeing a ghost. He dropped his gun and stumbled forward just a few steps before they crashed—or rather Nini crashed into him. Like two atoms, finding each other in the midst of a chemical chaos, they collided in a mess of limbs and half cries.

Nini’s body collided into the weight of his, her arms and legs wrapping around his neck and torso. Ricky, in his stumbling, crumbled to his knees. _He’s alive alive alive._ A new mantra played in her mind. His clothes and flesh were solid under her trembling fingers. The smell of him was the same—like leather and pine. It was tinged with blood and maybe a bit of cigarette smoke, but he still smelled like Ricky.

Her Ricky.

As she clung to him, his arms slowly started to engulf her, he was cautious in his movements. She pressed a hand to the back of his head, bringing him closer, closer to her.

_Alive alive alive._

His arms tightened as he pressed his own face into her shoulder. She felt his chest seize as he started to weep softly. Not until Nini lifted her head and saw his blurred face did she realize that she too was crying.

His face. It was bloodied and bruised but—it was Ricky, her Ricky. It didn’t matter that he may not love her back. Who was she kidding. She would always be his.

“I—I tried to warn you guys,” Nini sobbed, gripping sides of his face. “I tried but—but they took my earpiece away—he took it away, Ricky, but I tried, I swear—I swear it—”

“Whoa—whoa—hey, darling—Nini—hey,” Ricky’s hands slid to her cheeks wiping her tears even though he had his own falling from his eyes. “You saved us, okay? _You saved us_. Without you, there wouldn’t be an Ace left in this city” He pulled her face closer, trying to get her to agree. “You have nothing to be sorry for. _Nothing._ You, Nini, should never be sorry, do you understand?”

She sobbed.

“Do you understand?” He asked firmly.

Nini bit back another sob as she nodded, head moving vigorously as if to convince herself.

“I just—I was so worried you were d-dead.” He wiped another one of her tears as she spoke. “I thought you were gone, and I couldn’t—I I didn’t know how to—”

“Darling, we thought _you_ were dead.” His voice was broken. The tears on his face made streaks through the blood on his face. He was still beautiful, though, Nini thought. “This girl, she—she told us that Caswell killed you, she said he shot you in-in the h-head.” Ricky began to sob himself, loud hard sobs that ended with hiccups and he looked…he looked like he was in agony. “I th-thought you were dead and I couldn’t live with that—I _couldn’t_ be alive if you weren’t. Oh god, Nini, you were dead and I wasn’t and it was _horrible_ it was horrible, Nini.”

Ricky’s body trembled and shook. Nini grabbed the wrist of one of his hands and dragged it to the upper left of her chest over her heart. “Do you feel that?” Nini asked. Ricky tried to still himself so that he could. He nodded.

“I’m still here, I’m not gone. We are _both_ alive Ricky, everything will be just fine.” She didn’t know if everything would be fine, but with him here it sure felt like it.

“”I just—I just thought—” Ricky looked up from where his hand was placed. His eyes were still like honey and amber, even with all of his agony. “I thought you had died before I got to tell you I love you back.”

Nini froze. She searched those honey eyes. He was telling the truth, right? He meant it? Would he shun her like he did before? Ricky’s hand returned to her cheeks, running his thumb over her lips. No, he was telling the truth.

“I love you, Nini, and—and I should have said it before.”

She felt a crack of light emerge from the stone that had become her heart.

“And I know I don’t deserve you,” Ricky continued. “A thousand of me don’t deserve you, yet you loved me anyway, and I love you. I love you, and if you don’t forgive for the _horrible_ way I handled that night, and the things I said to you, I—I understand. I wouldn’t forgive me, but you need to know that I love you so fucking much. I’ve loved you for so long, I don’t even know when I started, and I’m so, _so_ sorry, darling.”

Nini’s lips started to curve up. Even through her crying she found a smile start to force its way to the surface. “It’s okay, Ricky, I forgive you.”

His eyes widened. “You do?”

“I mean, you made me feel like crap for a week, and if you _ever_ pull that kind of shit again, I will murder you,” She laughed through the crying. His lips pulled up as well. “But you’re human, and you’re flawed, and I lived in a world where I thought you were dead, and life is way too short to be hung up on human flaws. So, when I said I loved you, I meant it. I love all of you. And I forgive you.”

He stared at her, eyes roaming her face. His face crumpled like he still couldn’t believe she was in front of him. Nini simply just watched him. That was really all she needed, to just watch him. She could just soak in his company forever. His thumb grazed over her lips once more. Then her cheeks and brow and further back to the lobe of her ear. His fingers found her hair. He ran them through it, thumbing the newly chopped edges.

“Oh,” she has almost forgotten about the cut. “Yeah, I…I just —I had to cut it.”

He said nothing and proceeded to stroke her hair back into place.

“Do you like it?” She asked almost timidly.

He smiled softly, tucking the strands back behind her ear. “I love it.” His eyes flitted back to her face. “And I love you, so much.”

“I love you, too, Ricky.”

His smiled dropped slightly. “Can I kiss you?” He asked.

She let out a laugh that was a little louder than she intended and nodded fiercely “Mhm.”

Ricky smiled, and before she could laugh again, his lips were on hers, warm and soft and a little salty from the tears, but still oh so sweet. God, how she missed this. It felt like coming back up for air after she had spent so long drowning. Drowning in sorrow, in grief, in EJ’s condemnations. He was a deep breath, a surge of oxygen. He was a lifeline. He was home. And she realized—for the very first time Nini realized that her whole life she had been looking for Ricky. Someone who wouldn’t run out of love to give, unlike her moms. Someone who would trust her completely. Someone who believed in her, and knew she was strong and wouldn’t hold her back. Someone who cared for her safety over anything else. Someone who drove her insane. Who would rub circles on the back of her neck when she had a migraine. Who would sit on the edge of a building with her, even though he had a stupid fear of heights. Who would wipe off a whipped cream mustache and play in the snow with her. Someone who would dance with her in the dark. A person to go on heists with her, no matter how big or small.

Someone who she loved fiercely, and loved her back just as much.

So she kissed him. She kissed the hell out of him.

She trailed his lips as he pulled away. Why he would ever want to pull away was a mystery to her, because she could pretty much kiss him forever, but she figured poor Gina had already seen enough mushy gushy stuff to last a lifetime. Nini rested her forehead to his.

Ricky chuckled. “Darling, we’re a fucking mess.”

Nini giggled, looking at his tear and blood stained face and her legs still wrapped around his abdomen. His hair was mussed, and she couldn’t imagine that she looked any better. “Yeah, we are.” She kissed him once more, short and sweet. “I like it.” She whispered

Ricky took her hand that was rested on his face and pressed her knuckles to his lips. She savored it. From now on, Nini decided, she would savor every moment, every second with him.

“EJ, stop—no!”

Nini whipped around to see Gina grabbing at EJ’s shirt, pulling on his arm. Her eyes travelled to the raven hair boy himself, who seemed to have just teleported behind the reuniting couple. His eyes were dark, almost black unlike the usual sage shade. His brows, downturned and sharp, mouth almost at a snarl.

His face alone would have signaled his intention to murder someone.

If it were not for the gun he held aimed at Ricky.

In a flash Nini was on her feet, and unfortunately, so was Ricky. He tried to elbow her to the side, but she shoved back. Nini scoffed internally. Like hell she would let him guard her like some damsel. She loved him for it, but yeah… fuck no. She finally nailed him in the gut and stomped on his foot. Ricky relented, only letting part of her arm remain in front of him.

“Come back for your whore?” EJ spat at Ricky. The curly haired boy let out a near animalistic growl Nini had surely never heard before.

“EJ, put the gun down!” Gina begged, still trying to pull back the boy. “You don’t need to do this!”

“Why else would you come back for her?” EJ continued, ignoring the frantic girl at his side. “It’s not like you have enough Aces to go on heists anymore. Must get boring in your tiny little shithole.” EJ’s eyes locked to Nini’s even as he talked to the boy. “Looking for a pretty face to fuck?”

It took a mental ocean to put out the fiery rage the shot through her body. She felt Ricky start to step forward, but she kept her voice steady. “This is not you, EJ, let’s just talk this out.”

“ _I don’t want to talk it out!”_ EJ snapped, bringing up another hand to hold the gun. Nini thought she saw him trembling. “I’m _fucking_ sick of talking things out with you, Nini.”

She stepped forward, and he only brought the gun higher.

“I’m sick of talking and making deals and hearing your fucking brainwashed lies.” EJ’s hands were fully shaking now. Nini’s heart clenched. No matter the disgusting words he spat, it still pained her to see him hurting.

EJ nudged his gun at Ricky. “He was pointing a gun at my head not too long ago instead of _talking it out_ and now you’re fucking him? How does that make any fucking sense, Nina?”

“I know that EJ, and I hated him for a long time,” She took another step closer. “Please, I don’t want to hate you, too, just please put the gun down.”

Footsteps emerged nearby. In her peripheral, Nini could see a dark hair and red haired boy creeping towards them. _Carlos and Red._ No, if EJ saw Ricky had back up, he would start shooting. Nini held her had up to the just the slightest. A small enough motion for EJ not to notice in the midst of his rage. In the corner of her eye, she saw them slow to a stop.

“You know,” EJ’s head tipped, his gaze locking onto Ricky. “Mia got back a few days ago and told me about her little trip to the Aces.”

What trip? She turned to Ricky, finding his jaw clenched, his expression a bore guarded than it was before.

“And when she told me that she told you I killed Nini, well, I was pretty pissed off.” He explained. Nini’s heart caught in her throat. “She shouldn’t be making big decisions like that without telling me you know?” EJ’s eyes flicked to hers. His gun moved slowly and steadily, changing its aim to Nini’s head. “But you know what? Maybe she had the right idea.”

Nini stared straight down the barrel of his gun. She put a hand out behind her, stopping Ricky who she knew was charging forward. This was not EJ, Nini had to keep telling herself. He would never want to hurt her.

“EJ, you don’t want to do this,” She started moving her hand towards him.

“Says who? You? The traitor, junkie bitch who became an Ace? You betrayed us, Nini, your friends, your _family_. Maybe it’s good riddance.” EJ trembled, his eyes glassy. His body was betraying his words.

“These rivals between gangs, it’s not worth it.” Nini pressed, taking another step closer. “We hate and hate and hate, but on the inside, we are all the same! We’ve all ended up in these gangs for the same reason—it was a light in the darkness, and _you,_ EJ, should be the first one to know.”

“Then what do you suppose we do, _huh?_ Team up and become one big fucking happy family, Spades and Aces combined?”

“Well, actually, I think that might be—”

“How _fucking_ naive are you?” EJ bit out.

“I am _not_ naive—”

“ _I HAVE LOST EVERYONE!_ ” EJ screamed. The gun just inches from Nini’s head. Tears like glass sat nearly frozen in time on his face. “M-my parents, my aunt and uncle, they’re all _dead!_ My whole—my whole family is _dead!_ ” He sobbed. His jerked his gun at Ricky. “And then _you,”_ he growled. “ _You_ took my Ashlyn. My cousin, my own blood. And just when I thought I couldn’t hate you more for it, you took Nini,” he scoffed. “ _She was all I fucking had left and you stole her away!”_

“EJ, you haven’t lost me yet,” Nini’s voice cracked. “You should have. With all the things you have done recently you should have, but you haven’t yet.” Nini inched closer, her forehead just to the left of the barrel. If she turned her head it would be pressed against her skin. Her fingertips were just mere inches away from EJ’s wrist. “EJ, if you don’t snap out of this, you just might.”

He stared at her, eyes near bloodshot. Gina’s fingers still remained clinging to his shirt. Nini’s fingers slowly started climbing up. Her finger made contact with his skin. He needed to understand. Please, could he understand, Nini begged silently.

Her entire life, Nini had never been lucky with love. Her moms’ love running thin. Her asshole boyfriend who got her hooked on drugs. Bradley dying in her arms in a fucking drive-by. But EJ— _EJ._ He had always loved her. From the moment he plucked her from the street, he loved her. Trained her, cared for her, protected her. And she loved him as a sister would. Their thread of love could not be thinning yet, she refused to believe it. His mind was just muddied by the hate.

They stared at one another. His finger fiddling with the trigger, her’s slowly making its way up his wrist.

“EJ, I love you, you know that.” Nini nearly whispered. “Just because I found room in my heart to love another doesn’t make it any less true.”

His face broke. He shook his head to try to keep his composure. “I’m just—” He sobbed silently. “Nini, I’m so tired of—of losing people, I’m sick of it.”

“I know EJ, I know.” And she did. She knew the exhaustion. Her hand closed around his.

Slowly, she lowered his gun, and with every inch it went down, the more he seemed to deflate.

Just then, a familiar voice rang through. “EJ?”

Nini turned. At the end of the all, a girl with long red hair stood in shock.

Ashlyn.

“Ash, what are you doing up here?” Ricky asked from behind Nini. He was much closer to her than she remembered.

“I-I—” Her eyes were locked on EJ and Nini, or more specifically EJ’s gun still partially aimed at Nini “I new that EJ was in here and—I just couldn’t sit in the van knowing that.”

“Ashlyn it isn’t safe, get back to the van.” Ricky warned.

The red head started walking towards them. “No,” she spoke, still in a bit of a daze. “No, he won’t hurt me.”

She approached the pair, Nini’s hand still wrapped around his. “EJ, what’s going on?” Ashlyn asked.

EJ’s arm dropped, the gun clattering on the ground. Nini intertwined her finger’s with his to replace the weapon.

“Ashlyn,” he spoke in a weak gasp. “Ash—I’m—I m-miss them,” he started to break once more. “Oh-oh god, I miss them so much.”

“Me too,” she comforted him, still just slightly confused of the situation, bringing a hand up to wipe his tears, her fingers lingering on his face. “I miss them, too.”

“And I miss y-you,” he sobbed. “I miss you so much and it feels like I have n-no one left. I’m so sorry we fought, god knows I regret saying all that shit to you”

“Oh, EJ,” she kept wiping away each tear of his that fell. “I’m so sorry we fought, too, but you don’t have to lose me.” She motioned to Nini. “You don’t have to lose _us._ ”

“EJ,” Nini interjected. “Look at the both of us. We both have become Aces, but we’re not horrible, right?” She felt a spark of hope in her chest as it seemed EJ was finally, really listening. “Aces and Spades…in our hearts we’re all the same people. These rivalries they’re—they’re pointless. We’re all just _human._ ” Nini took a step to the side, now addressing both Ricky and EJ. “Can’t we just be…civil with each other?”

Ricky looked towards Nini, an unspoken question in his eyes. _Are you sure about this?_ He seemed to ask. Nini nodded.

Ricky started to walk forward first. He was tentative, but held his hand up to EJ.

The raven haired boy looked at the offering dumbfounded. His eyes widened, making their way up to Ricky. “Even after the night at the Romano’s?” EJ asked timidly.

Nini could see the tension in his jaw. “I will never forget what happened down there. I will never forget that it is because of _you_ that we went through that, that we lost Aces. And we will come to deal with it.” Ricky glanced towards Nini. “But she’s right. And if we continue to feud, there will only be more bloodshed.” He turned his gaze back to EJ. “I love Nini. I know that it is her dream to live violence free between the gangs. All I want to do with the rest of my life is to make her happy and to make her dreams come true.” He spoke so sincerely it sent shivers down her spine. “So, Caswell, I agree to be _civil_ with you, if that is what she pleases.”

EJ took a tentative step toward his rival. Letting loose of Nini’s hand and Ashlyn’s grip.

He placed his hand in Ricky’s. Shaking it. Once. Twice.

“Ok, Bowen. Let’s be civil.”

Relief flooded Nini’s senses. She let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. The two most important boys in her life, were finally, _finally,_ at some form of peace. She knew they had work to do. A long, hard road was in front of them. But still, she couldn’t help but smile. EJ turned towards Gina and Ashlyn, the former fretting over him and the latter clinging onto him in their long overdue reunion.

Nini turned back to Ricky, finding him already opening his arms for her. She pressed into him for a warm hug, a concrete sense of warmth and comfort that was desperately needed.

“Thank you for agreeing,” she whispered into his clothes. “Even after all he’s done to you. I don’t know how you could forgive that. Thank you.” She heard his heart beat. She _felt_ it through her cheek.

“Anything for you, darling.” Ricky whispered back, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you.” She hummed in response, reluctantly pulling away from the warmth of his hug.

He signaled for them to leave, pulling her hand slightly. She quietly asked him to wait a second.

“EJ?” She approached his small group. He turned to her, eyes still quite puffy.

“Yes, Nins?”

She smiled softly. “It was about damn time, don’t you think?”

His lips curled just slightly. He nodded.

She tipped her head towards him in agreement. His eyes flitted to Ricky just behind her and he knew, Nini realized, that she wouldn’t be staying here.

Not to worry, she thought to say to him. But she figured he already knew.

This was not goodbye.

The spider turned back to her boy. Her boy who had once had a heart as cold as stone had his hand reached out for her to take. The spider took it, the calluses and curves she would grow to memorize by heart.

“Let’s go home, darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end.
> 
> i wanna say thank you to everyone for writing such supportive and constructive comments. seriously, without ya'll i would have abandoned this fic like two chapters in. 
> 
> make sure to visit the pinterest board I made for this fic! the link is in a previous chapter, idk what the chapter is called but you'll probs be able to find it, the title stands out a bit.
> 
> also idk when the one shots will come out. I'm probably going to take a break from spider/stone for a little bit, for i have some very juicy ideas for other pics.
> 
> and lastly, thank you all again for comments and kudos. i love you guys.


	14. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly a little emotional rn ngl.  
> This has been a journey. Not to sound cliche or anything, but when I started this, I had no idea whatsoever that it would become what it is today. I have absolutely fallen in love with the personas I have created, and it's crazy that their story has ended (not officially, though, for there will be a one-shot collection!)  
> I want to thank all of you guys for the kudos and thoughtful comments. No cap, but if it weren't for you guys, I probably would have abandoned this story two chapters in. You guys make it all worth it.   
> There was some foreshadowing in the previous chapter for a huge detail in this chapter. I'll add it to the end notes, but comment if you got it! Its super obscure so I doubt that anyone will get it lol.  
> The unofficial name for this chapter is "Ace of Spades"  
> Ok. Without further ado. The end.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

She felt the engine of the bike thrumming between her legs. The wind flicking violet hair loose from her jet black helmet, rippling across her jacket. Nini clutched onto the handles, knuckles white under her gloves.

_Fuck._

Her calculations were so precise. _So_ fucking precise. She thought she had taken account of all of it. Ten minutes for the break-in, five for the looting, and a good fifteen for the escape.

Well, apparently she was off.

Nini’s eyes flitted to her tiny rear view mirror. A dark SUV was gaining on her. _Shit_. They would run her off the goddamn highway. She had been weaving through traffic, trying to lose them. But to no avail. They wouldn’t give up.

She needed to think fast. At this point, they would just follow her back to base. Nini glanced at the second bike just slightly ahead of her. Blonde hair under a dark plexiglass veil. Nini knew what to do.

The Spider rolled the throttle of the bike, letting loose the clutch in her left hand. The motorcycle accelerated, engine roaring. Her heart pounded. God she loved this bike. A little gift from EJ, much appreciated. Nini shouted over the noise into her ear piece.

“Seb! On your four.” She started to approach her partner, placing them in front of a rather large pickup truck, getting out of sight of the SUV. She unlatched a metal briefcase from the trunk of her bike, attaching it onto Seb’s.

“Take the back roads to the city, I’ll throw them off,” Nini directed. Seb’s helmeted bobbed, nodding. He sped up and veered off into the darkness. Nini changed lanes, revving her bike, gaining the attention of her chasers.

She moved into the right most lane. The dark car followed suit.

Nini peered over the rail of the high way. About twenty feet down was another freeway. Looking ahead, she spotted orange cones and various trucks. A ramp for the equipment. _Perfect._

Suddenly, a gunshot rang through the air. Nini ducked, looking back at her pursuers. A masked man stuck out of the passenger side, gun aimed to her. Nini rolled her eyes. _Great._ She really wasn’t planning on making a scene, but if they want to play, fine. She’ll play. Pulling out the gun strapped to her thigh, Nini fired shot a shot back, bullet landing in the center of the windshield. The SUV swerved, but gained control back quickly. She shot again, the bullet nailing the opposing shooter in the arm. He retreated back. She shot again, bullet piercing their tire. The car shuddered, sinking down on its front leg. Sparks flew as their bumper screeched on the road and the car spun to a halt. Nini smirked, sheathing her gun and speeding ahead.

It’s all fun and games when you can take down the enemy, but they weren’t exactly subtle. The shots will have been reported by the surrounding cars. She still needed an escape.

Nini approached the construction. If she was going to pull this off, she needed air. She needed _speed._ She rolled the throttle of her bike as far as it could go, releasing the clutch and lurching ahead. The wooden ramp was getting closer and closer and soon enough her bike launched into the hair.

Her stomach lurched, her heart stopped. She was flying, cutting through the air with her bike. Like a raven, dark and invisible against the night sky. With a thud she landed on the pavement, falling into traffic.

“Nini, what’s your status?” She heart Sed through the earpiece.

“I took them down. On the 95 now, lets rendezvous by the bridge and we’ll head back.”

“Copy.”

Nini smiled. Her blood like fire, her heart soaring. There was nothing like a good old heist.

* * *

The briefcase hissed as Seb undid the latches, a blue glow emanating from the inside. Gina stood by anxiously, craning her head to get a good look. As the steam rolled away, the contents of the case were exposed. Honestly, Nini didn’t know what to expect. When EJ tells her to go on a heist, her main goal is to make sure it goes smoothly, not to worry about what exactly they were stealing. But, you know, Gina seemed pretty excited.

Inside was a piece of shiny, silver metal. It looked so…delicate, yet strong and _expensive._ Nini became almost mesmerized by its beauty.

Sebastian, however, did not. “Huh.”

“Ok, ok, there’s more than what meets the eye,” Gina argued.

“Huh.”

“Seb!” Gina hip-bumped the blonde boy out of the way, her eyes sparkling in the light of the case. She let her fingers dance around the piece of metal, not yet daring to touch it. “It’s a tempered, silicium-cobalt alloy, infused with adaptive micro-technology.” Gina nearly squealed, tilting her head to see it from a new angle. She inhaled, taking in the scent of…who knows what. “It’s self charging, and sustainable in high heats.”

“Yes, because we are always doing heists on the surface of the sun.” Seb remarked. Nini elbowed him in the gut.

“ _It means,”_ Gina gave Seb a glare. He held his hands up in defense. “I can melt it down and make whatever I want!” Gina squealed. “If I can figure it out, we can create a chip to hijack enemy cars from their engine—or-or—I can make a _sticker_ that can control a whole security system! The possibilities are _endless._ ” Gina finally picked up the piece of the Sicilian-cooper whatever it’s called with gentle hands.

From his place on the opposite side of the table, EJ made his way to Gina’s side, inspecting the metal along with her. “Well, you and the tech team better get working.” EJ rubbed his forehead. “Metadri Labs is like a fortress, it took a fuck ton of money to fund this heist.”

“Don’t worry boss,” Gina placed the alloy back into the case, shutting the lid and redoing the hatches, “I’ll have it done in no time.” She smiled up at him.

EJ grinned back. A little boyish grin that made Nini want to vomit. Then again, Ricky was the same way with her. “I have every confidence,” EJ responded, leaning down to kiss Gina on the cheek.

Gina turned towards Nini, giving her a tight hug. “Well, I better get to work,” Gina lifted the briefcase for emphasis. “I’m assuming you’re done for the night?” Gina asked. Nini nodded.

“Yeah, it’s pretty late, I better get back before he starts to worry. I’ll see you on Tuesday, though.” She gave her friend’s arm a tight squeeze.

“You better.” Gina looked around the room before waving. “Goodnight guys.”

Scattered voices replied to her as Spades themselves started to turn in for the night. Seb was un-arming himself from all of his weapons. He watched as EJ talked to some other Spades.

“Egh,” Seb made a noise. “When did EJ get all…soft.”

“Oh don’t be a downer, Seb,” Nini smiled, and batted her lashes. “He’s in _love_ ,” she crooned.

“Yeah, well just because he’s in love doesn’t mean he has to make everyone else’s business,” He joked.

Nini followed in his suit, unlatching her various guns and daggers, placing them on the table. “I think I know someone you might like.”

“Yeah? Who?” Seb was curious.

“He’s an Ace, really funny and super cute. He handles training and combat work.”

“What’s his name?”

“Carlos. I think you’ll like him a lot.”

Seb smiled, walking over to give Nini a quick hug. “Well, give him my number, we’ll see how it goes. Goodnight, Nini.”

“Night Seb.”

Nini started walking out, when she felt a hand catch her. She turned to find EJ there.

“Hey wait, before you go.” He rubbed his chin.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I just want to say thanks again, for helping us out. And—and not just tonight, but for the past couple months” EJ gave her a sincere smile.

“You know I’m happy to help, EJ.” She replied.

“I know—but after…everything, I wanted to make sure you were actually comfortable helping us out. You’ve just been so awesome.”

Nini squeezed his hand. “It’s alright, really. We’ve made our amends. Everyone is happy, let’s be too.”

He leaned in and hugged her tight. She returned the hug, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I love you, Nins. Really, thank you.”

“Of course, EJ, that’s what family’s for."

* * *

Back on her bike, Nini zipped through the city, the motor roaring as she went. It was always the oddest hour of night when Nini returned back home. It was fine, though. She didn’t mind. Ricky would always wait for her.

She couldn’t believe they did it. Sometimes she felt as if she were still in a dream. Like, maybe after that stupid night, EJ really did kill her and she was living in some kind of fantastic limbo, forever stuck between life and death. But she felt the wind on her face, the thrumming of the bike, and she knew.

They were able to do it. The Aces and Spades living in harmony.

It took months of work of course. Redoing deals, redistributing territory. EJ had to repay for his crimes against the Aces, giving up large chunks of the city as well as technology and money. Nini knew there would always be a bit of anger between her two favorite boys, but at least they got this far.

The Aces were doing great. With all of the new territory, they were able to go on more heists, rob new places. And Gina’s technology helped a ton too. They expanded the base, taking over another abandoned building downtown. They renovated the training rooms and best of all—the library. Nini had read dozens of new books, they were actually beginning to pile up in the corner of their room.

And the very best part, in Nini’s opinion, was a development made in the early stages of their truce, for Nini didn’t need to choose anymore. Between her family at the Spades and the Aces—she didn’t need to choose.

Because she had both.

When EJ needed her, she was there. She did her work as Spider, scaling buildings, crawling through vents, breaking in. She was there to train the young Spades, a hobby she had rediscovered. It was rewarding, seeing all of them learn new things, fight each other and win. Anything they needed her to do, she was there.

And when Ricky needed her, she was there, too. A Spider for the Aces, doing all the stuff she does best. She’d help him plan heists, organize funding, sort out their assets. They’d go for hot chocolate, walks in the park. They’d kiss when the sun was down, whisper sweet nothings, and laugh at stupid things. And, yeah, every once in a while she would be a pretty little thing on his side. And maybe she liked it a lot.

And it was all thanks to a new initiative she had formed—with the help of Ashlyn of course.

For she was an _Ace of Spades_.

A group—only a handful of people so far—who had no loyalty except to themselves and the ones they loved. Nini hadn’t realized it was an issue other than her and Ashlyn’s situation, but it was. Friends, family who joined opposite gangs, be it on accident or some bad blood that needed to be amended.

They chose a place to live, either with the Aces or Spades, but as assets, they were useful to both, and could visit their friends and family any time. They were identifiable with purple. A pin, a tattoo, maybe a stripe of purple in their hair (Nini had dyed a section underneath her hair at the base of her skull. Red for the Aces, blue for the Spades. It helped to keep the peace between the gangs, knowing that there were relationships formed between them. Like stitches keeping the whole system together.

So Nini was happy. Really happy. Because her days were spent with family, and were unpredictable as can be. Some days she spent entirely with Ricky. Other days, like today, she spent entirely with the Spades and didn’t get back until late. No more routines. No more being trapped in one place—cooped up in a room. Life was just—perfect. It was so fucking perfect.

Nini pulled into the apartment building lot and rolled into her hidden space by the side of the wall. She dismounted and made her way inside and upstairs.

When she entered the office, he was sitting there like he always was. The yellow light of his desk lamp making him look golden. His hair was mussed, his shirt was unbuttoned a bit, and his eyes looked droopy, but he was still sitting there, pen in hand, working on something. Planning something. Taking care of something. Nini removed the helmet from her head, setting it down on its place on. A sidetable. Her hair had grown maybe an inch or two since she cut it. She usually wore it in a loose braid, baby hairs spilling. Violet strands weaving in and out. Ricky glanced up for a second to acknowledge her.

“I put some blueprints on your desk, look over them when you can,” He rubbed his chin with the back of his hand before jotting something down.

Nini looked over to the spot where the couch used to be, now replaced with a desk much like Ricky’s; except this one was covered with knives and daggers of sorts scattered about. A blueprint lazily placed atop it all. Nini wasn’t the neatest, to be quite honest, but she liked _their_ office nonetheless.

Instead of looking at the prints, Nini made her way over to the behind brown haired boy. She slipped her arms over his shoulders, around his neck, and kissed the top of his head before resting her’s beside his. He continued to work. She reached out and grabbed his hand, ceasing his writing.

“It’s late,” Nini whispered. “You’re tired. Let’s go to bed.”

He dropped the pen and grabbed her hand instead, bringing it up to his lips and placing a kiss on her knuckles. “How was the job today?” He asked, pushing away from the desk slightly. An invitation for Nini to sit in his lap. She took it, letting herself enjoy his breath on the side of her neck.

“It was okay.” She told him, reaching up to move a loose curl from his forehead. “Ran into some trouble on the way home, but it turned out alright in the end.” Nini sighed. “All for this metal-alloy thingy. Gina was pretty excited.”

“Trouble? Are you okay? Was anyone hurt?” Ricky asked, concern filling his eyes. Nini couldn’t help but chuckle. Her hand made its way to the hair on the back of his head, stroking it lightly. Ricky always worried to much.

“Yes, Ricky I was careful,” Nini looked down to his lips and kissed him, lazily. It seemed to calm him just a bit. Only a little bit. She reassured him. “I know what I’m doing.”

“I know you know what you’re doing, babe, but I know you have a flare for the dramatic.”

Nini scoffed. “Do I now?”

“Uhm, yes.” Ricky argued.

“And how do you figure?” She asked.

“Well, were you on the bike tonight?”

“…Yeah.”

“And at any point was that bike _in the air_?” Ricky teased.

Nini only rolled her eyes in response. Ricky only laughed at her.

“Well enough about me, how was your day?” Nini asked, fixing up his shirt a little bit.

Ricky sighed looking down, thumb grazing across her thigh. “You know, just prepping for next week’s heist, a lot of busy work. We’re still trying to do inventory of all of our new weapons.” He looked up at her with a boyish smile. “Better now that you’re here now.” He kissed her. “I missed you.” He kissed her again.

“Ricky, I saw you this morning!”

“And what?! That means I can’t miss my beautiful girlfriend?!”

Nini giggled. She ran her fingers along his cheeks, under his eyes. They had grown nearly blue with his exhaustion. “You look tired, babe. You should go to sleep.” He always worked so hard. Anything so his gang was comfortable and safe.

“I’m not sleepy, darling, just…burnt out. It’s been a long day.”

There was a small pause. Just a moment of content silence until Nini spoke again. “Up for a ride then?”

A mischievous looked passed through Ricky’s face. Smiled softly, and nodded.

* * *

Nini clutched on tight to Ricky, hands feeling the definition of his abdomen. They sped through the dead streets of the city. Everyone retired for the night, except the pair. Like a bolt of lighting, loud and unstoppable and _fast,_ When they reached the parking garage, Ricky slipped right in, the motorcycle climbing the floors up, up up. They finally figured out that using a bike to get up was much faster and _much_ less work than taking the stairs. Ricky skirted to a stop, careless of the parking lines.

The brunette—now partially purple haired girl—hopped off the bike, taking her helmet off. When Ricky did the same, she laughed at his helmet hair, walking over to mess it up even more.

He walked around the bike, unlatching a bag from the back. They settled on a spot dead centerof the lot, far away from every wall. He set the bag down and took out the blanket, spreading it smooth on the ground.

Nini kicked off her shoes and hopped onto the blanket. Ricky followed suit. They laid down, Nini cuddling close to Ricky. His arms engulfed her, and she pressed her face into his chest, hearing his heartbeat.

They stared up at the night sky. The stars seemed to be blinking out, with all of the light pollution clouding the dark blue, almost black sky. But they were still. And they were quiet. And at such peace they could focus on the stars. See dozens of them, and know that there were thousands up there.

“You know,” Nini spoke softly. “Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamt of reaching the stars.”

“Yeah?” Ricky responded, looking down at her. Their noses, their lips, were just a whisper apart.

“Yeah.” Nini nearly whispered back. “And every time I get to climb, I always feel like I’m climbing there. Like I’m just a foothold away from holding every star in the sky.”

Ricky was quiet for a moment. She could hear his breathing. The way his breath caught. Ricky licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak.

“When I thought you were dead, I thought you made it to the stars.” His voice was so soft, Nini didn’t even know if she heard him speak at all.

“Every night,” He continued. “I’d look up, and I’d talk to you.” Ricky looked back up but leaned his head close to Nini’s. He reached for her hand and lined up their index fingers. He pointed at a speck in the sky.

“That one. For some reason, I thought I never saw that star before, so I thought it was you.”

“Really?” She asked, breathless. He somehow always made her breathless.

“Yeah. And I also thought that maybe, if I wasn’t sent to hell,” Nini felt his chest rumble with a light laugh, “when I went, I would be a star too, and it would appear right next to yours.”

Nini’s heart clenched, They had discussed that night. What he planned, what he really intended to do. She was pissed at him for a while. _Do you think that’s what I would have wanted?_ She yelled at him. _For you to just waste your whole life and off yourself?_

_My life is nothing if not for you._ Ricky had responded. And that was that.

Nini gazed at her faint star, and thought it funny. They had started off star-crossed lovers, but in death, it would be the stars that brought them together. It was poetic, in a way, Nini thought.

Ricky squeezed her tight and looked down at her once more. “Nini, I never want to be apart from you again.”

“Me neither.” She whispered. “Ever.”

He kissed her forehead. “I love you, Nini. With all of me. For all of my life.”

“And what if the rest of your life isn’t enough? How will you love me then?”

He leaned down, planting his lips softly on hers.

“Forever, then. I’ll love you forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The foreshadowing was "Nini browsed through her collection. Black, emerald, navy, red. The brunette settled on a deep shade of violet, sweeping the color over her stubby nails. She held up her hand to admire. It looked nice." (red + blue =purple)
> 
> the end.

**Author's Note:**

> leave your thoughts! xoxo


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